my body isn’t even

my left upper arm is 1 inch larger than my right

my right thigh is 1 inch larger than my left

I don’t know why this is, and it’s hard to come to terms with. especially when clothes don’t fit right. also??? why is it not that one side of my body is bigger than the other?? what’s up with this weird criss cross ?? hello??

gotta just remember that it’s a thing that happens sometimes. I just hope I even out at least a little bit in the end (cause im tired of my SLEEVES ONLY FITTING ONE ARM AHHH)

so hey if you’re in the same (or similar) boat as me and struggling, I hope that knowing there’s others out there helps.

…..I’m also sending good vibes your way and they can’t be stopped

>:) <3 :0

me —-> you

As someone who’s been overweight their whole life. And as someone who’s belly stuck out always, making me seem like I was as round as I was wide…

seeing my belly look flatter in the morning feels.. wrong.

I don’t know if its dysphoria (because I have limited experience with this) because my hips look wider when my stomach looks smaller. But it feels so so strange.

aaaaand then I put clothes on and suddenly everything feels fine, so maybe I just don’t like seeing my body. WOOO

Have y'all ever had a London Fog?

As in the drink, not the literal fog of london. It’s super good, here’s the low cal version I like to make:

ingredients for about 2 cups:

• 1-2 bags of earl grey tea (black tea works well too) - 0cal
• ½ cup of your preferred milk (I use unsweetened almond - 15cal)
• sugar free vanilla syrup to taste - 0cal
• driedlavender - 0cal

instructions:

1. Place your tea bag(s) and lavender into a cup. I don’t usually measure how much lavender I use, but it’s probably a little under 1 tablespoon.
2. Pour in your boiling water and brew your tea. I like to use 2 bags of earl grey tea, and i like to brew about 1.5 cups. I usually brew my tea for about 3-5 minutes, but you can leave your tea bags in for longer or shorter to change how strong the tea is.
3. Remove your tea bag(s) and lavender. If the lavender was lose in your cup you may want to strain it out.
4. Add your milk, and sweeten to taste with the vanilla syrup.
5. Enjoy!

if you don’t have a vanilla syrup, you can just use sugar (or any sweetener) and vanilla extract. Just be careful when adding the vanilla because the extract is very strong!

You can skip the lavender without ruining the drink, I know it’s not an herb that everybody has.

Had no clue but apparently fasting/ restricting is causing my acid reflux to act up,, my throat is in so much pain I wanna die but I can’t eat more or stop fasting

Ugh I love the feeling when my stomach burns and hurts after not eating for a few days <333

Ugh, I’m so fucking tired. My body can’t handle this shit. I haven’t slept or eaten for like two days. I wanna kms. I hate my body.

My body is eating itself, it’s really pathetic considering I’m not even at my gw yet. God I need to starve for longer. I didn’t eat at all yesterday/today so that’s good. Also been thinking about overdosing.

saw my reflection next to my super skinny friend in the window last night and I thought we almost looked the same, but then she was hanging out in a bralette with her stomach showing and realized that I was absolutely fucking delusional

what sucks is that so many other people with ana exist. that so many thin people exist. people that are underweight and dont even have ana. I’m just a cow with a mental disorder that doesnt even matter until I’m sickly skinny

I’m the absolute worst at counting calories, nearly all of the food I eat is prepared at home so I cant check and if I were to ask my mom how many calories she thinks it is she’d get suspicious. I think I just want to start eating as little as I possibly can until the job gets done

I lost absolutely no weight god i hope its water weight. I’m only 8 pounds away from my gw and then my gw will change, it’s so stupidly close why can’t I just LOSE WEIGHT

okay liquid fast doing well, I <3 miso soup so it’s been pretty easy so far

I was on video call with my friends and the only thing I could focus on was how much fatter my face was than theirs, and how it made them looking like they were face timing a 12 year old. I’m going to water fast tomorrow

me and my friend were discussing a bday present and this is going to be my new meanspo until I reach my gw

okay okay i’m just spitballin’ here but this is what i think i’m going to do-

day 1- 1000 cal

day 2- 1100 cal

day 3- 900 cal

day 4-1000 

day 5- 1100

day 6- 1200

day 7- 900

i’m trying to make sure i get enough nutrition to get taller and gain muscle and also so i have enough energy to work out,, i’ve cut out tons of carbs and i’ll try to stay off of sugar

I AM SO SICK OF EATTING EGGS OH MY GOD

I’m just going to eat all my junk food in the morning now and then restrict as the day goes on because I’ll be sitting at the table a 7 in the a.m trying not to gag while looking at my plate

I wanna be so skinny and small people are afraid to yell at me, no one ever grabs my wrist or waist to pull me closer or show me something, only gentle touches. no one ever raises their voices because I look so child-like it makes them feel bad. people always offering me water or a bite to eat. no one ever getting angry with me because of the immense sympathy they feel for me

I love relationship thinspo so much, like the idea of being so thin I’m finally okay with someone touching me and being close to me, being secure in knowing they wont feel any rolls or softness

damn I dropped to 121 but I’ve felt like such a fat fucking pig today. constantly oscillating between thinking I’m faking it and wanted to throw up the >100 calories I just ate

flowersonmysoul:

im still migrated to @h0ll0 , thats the account i use. but i have more followers here so im saying it here.

we do not give a flying fuck u dumb cunts idc if im being mean ed’s are so competitive, i do not give a fucking shit how much u lose shut the fuck up r u trying to trigger everyone? not to mention it’s physically impossible to lose .5-1.5 lbs a day dumbass idcidcidc im a hater and a bad person im whatever u want me to be. but dont say this shit dumb cunts ed’s r literally competitive and u sound like a pick me bitch