#eating disoder thoughts
i’ve been losing weight like crazy n i can tell even physically n it’s AMAZINGGGG i’ve yelled from excitement soooo many times
LIKE OMGGGG I CAN SEE MY ARMS BONES N MY COLLARBONES R SOOOO NOTICABLE N U CAN SEE MY RIBCAGE + HIPBONES WHEN IM LAYING DOEN THIS IS AMAZINGGGGG
my bf sending me hugs in the obimy app cause i changed my mood to ok like thanks dude! i’m still gonna kms tho!!
the urge to kms after my bf tells me he wasn’t in the mood to talk to me today ( we hadn’t talked whatsoever ) but meanwhile i was legit fighting demons tryna not kms
You know what, fuck Corona. Like I know I’m being selfish for whining when it’s actually affecting people’s lives, but if quarantine never happened I’d probably be fine right now. I never would of gained like 40 pounds, or started developing and ed as a result. Now I’m in a hole I can’t get out of. I used to be thin and happy. Now I’m fat and broken.
Alrighty. I’m back. Nothing new besides my family is always making fasting difficult, as always.
Journal 10/7/2020
I broke my fast(52 hrs) with some chocolate(300 cal). Idk even why but whatever. Going to try and fast tomorrow but there might be a family dinner and we all know how that ends up.
Day 15
I am not but I really do want to be vegetarian but whenever I try my mom yells at me saying I’m going to be malnourished if I don’t eat meat(even tho that doesn’t even matter at this point)
Day 13 & 14
- totallyyy healthy. No disorders here. Nope. Definitely None at all.
- My ultimate GW is 107 lbs (I know it’s random but 7 is my favorite number) and I hope to reach it by the end of May 2021.
Journal 10/6/2020
Went on a short vacation this last weekend. Probably didn’t eat as well as I should but I’m on track again. Fasted yesterday and still fasting. I’m not gonna weight myself bc I low key kinda scared.
When you starve yourself you really learn what foods you do and don’t like.
Day 11 & 12
I don’t really have a favorite thinspo blog.
I normally eat just whatever, as long as it’s not something I don’t like(which is a long list)
Journal 10/1/2020
It’s the first of October!
Intake: Nothing bc fasting
Outtake: 100 cal
Net: -100 calories
Weight: 144.4 lbs
Day 10
The hardest thing I’ve given up is the excessive amount of chocolate I used to consume.
Journal 9/30/2020
Broke my fast(43hrs)
Intake: around 700 cal
Outtake:100
Net:600
Weight:144.4
I hit my GW1! Trying to lose 10 pounds before Halloween.
Starting another fast and hoping to last 48 hrs or longer
Day 9
Yes. They still do. Mostly my mom and grandmother. My mom did earlier today so that’s fun.
Journal 9/29/2020
I forgot to do one yesterday but I’m gonna pretend I didn’t. For today:
Intake: Nothing. Fasting
Outtake: 100 cal or so
Net: -100 calories
Weight: 145.4; so close to my GW1 which I wanted to complete by tomorrow. Hoping I am going to
Day 8
I don’t really have a set workout routine I just go on walks and do random exercises throughout the day.
Day 7
I think my mom knows but doesn’t care, she thinks it’s a good thing.
Journal 9/27/2020
Intake: broke my fast(41 hrs)
10 Tortilla chips(omg why do they have so many calories?!?)- 200 cal
Vitamin drink packet- 15 cal
Plain kids cheeseburger w/ no bun- 265 cal
Kids French fries- 247 cal
Total: 727 calories
Outtake: 200 plus whatever I burned while swimming(Yes, I know it’s almost October but it was 90 degrees Fahrenheit today where I live) as well as dancing.
Net:<527
I know I’m almost to or at my goal weight one, but I’m hesitant to say something or change my CW because of fluctuation.
