#i wanna be skiny

Water fasting: Day 8

Today’s thought: I can’t sleep because I’m so anxious at the moment for tomorrow’s family lunch out and i dunno what to do.

And yes, even though my mum bought me some sugar-free wheat bread I would still prefer “Plain *Ice cold* black coffee (Sugar-free)” because I trust what I see than what is labeled from the grocery. Yea I don’t trust food just like guys.

Mum gave me this… I don’t feel safe eating bread again this is not one of my *safe* food…

My breakfast for today…..

I woke up earlier than expected today, mum woke me for breakfast because she’s leaving again for tomorrow and we’ll not be seeing her again for the next three weeks. She requested to have breakfast with us, since I don’t really eat and I’m on my third day of Water fasting I only want plain black coffee.

Now I feel a little frustrated because we will be out for lunch later at my grandparent’s place and everybody is there, now I don’t know what to do it’s making me anxious about stuff.

Saw this on my screenshot.. God! This is how worst I am, even nuggets terrifies me a lot.. I was a the point on purging after that.. But end up jogging for 2 hours.

1000 jumps done, it’s been 2 weeks since I started this and still water fasting, this is a little bit exhausting because my vision is kinda funny. I also knotted both sides to add more weights on the rope.. This is a weighted jumping rope to begin with its just I want to spice a little bit on the jumping rope game so I knotted both sides and it heavier now. Overall its still worth it because there’s a lot of progress..

Happy Halloween then??

- I water fasted for more than 15 days now. I tried to lean on the wall because I felt a little sick today and a little dizzy getting up right away. I thimk another 10 days to go before I break my fast??? Then 7 days rest and back to water fasting again, maybe???

you know you’re desperate when your youtube search history contains “subliminals”

0. crave attention and human touch like nothing else

1. think that everyone who shows you the tiniest amount of affection is in love with you

2. remember that you’re aromantic and everything romance related makes you highly uncomfortable

3. make elaborate fantasies about people who were kind to you once probably only because they’re decent people

4. feel embarrassed

5. push away everyone who is actually deeply interested in you because they would be disappointed if they actually knew you and you’re ugly and fat naked anyways

+1 suffer eternally

suspiciously specific

having my pictures taken for my new id card is the best and only acceptabe kind of fatspo

i’m not eating ever again

i’m literally willing to die for getting rid of my fat cheeks

i really feel like fixing my mindset today

i’m gonna try only eating when i’m really hungry instead of at times i set up for myself and not obsessing around it but obviously staying in the low cal range

naturally skinny mindset here i come /lol i feel so delusional/

body check haha , ive gained so much weight i wanna cry

hi guys ill just share some my safe foods again:)

sugar-free gum- 5 but technically 0 cus u burn it lol

grapes: 3 calories per grape

cherries:4 calories per cherry

rambutan-7 calories per rambutan

light+fit yoghurt-80 calories per tub and 12g of protein

baby cereal -25 for half a cup

rice thins- 20 calories per 1 rice cake!!

apples-50-95 depends on size

grilled cheese( two whole grain slices, 60 cals per slice) cheese slices (velveeta) 40 calories per slice, only 160 per grilled cheese!! super filling too

yasso bars-100 calories (super good taste just like ice cream)

skinny cow ice cream sandwiches-150 per sandwich( really good )

boiled eggs:60-90 depending on size

fiber one bars-70 calories

As a kid i was always hungry, now i crave the feeling.

look how pretty>-<

hi guys i haven’t been active but heres some thinspo lol!

call me eli the way i approximate the amount of calories in a meal

i’ve tried venting to my bf but yeah nevermind, tumblr will do the trick for now n 4ever

i b mad when workout burn but i cry when they don’t

my bf was genuinely the only thing holding me back from relapsing from this ED but oh well!!!! ramadan is soon anyways i can easily hide it

i honestly thought the abc diet was randomly named that and had no other meaning behind it for so long

my bf asked for my weight n when i asked why he basically said it was to use me as f@@tsp0000 i’m so done

today has all been about the way i look and EDs in everyone and every1 worrying for some1 that isn’t me i’m so tired why can’t i ever reach for help im at my serious limit i hate this so much i know i don’t show signs iknow it’s my fault it always is why am i always like this why can’t i be normal why why why why can’t i b a good s/o whag is wrong w me i’m genuinely so close to killing mshelf there’s always something wrong w me

man i wanna die

when i’m at my best i say : i fucking hate this illness!!!!!

when i’m at my worse i say : I HAVENT EATEN IN 48HOURS WOOOHOOOOOOO

happy ( well more unhappy ) 1y to me developing my 3rd ED

i started getting acne all over my chin like rlly bad acne so i started overdrinking again n now i relapsed

my life is a never ending cycle of

relapse —> pass out —> stop caring —> relapse again

woahhhhh huge urge to kms all of a sudden

CAUSE IM ANOREXIC MY GUY WHY ELSE LMFAOOOO

never ending cycle

IM GONNA KILL MYSELFFFFFFF YEAH YEAHHHHHY

anorexia made me crazy but the bones r worth it

when i wanna cry i just go on tumblr and look at my collarbone n then all of a sudden everything’s alright

Not me actively trying to give myself food poisoning so I’m sick and lose weight oh my god

1,8kg more and i’m gonna be finally underweight!!!!! so excited omg!!!!

i hate it when i fast for the whole day and i see the same number on the scale next morning://