#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs

Snape: There are four seats at a table and we need to figure out where each person sits. There’s mary, will, you, and me. In which order should we sit?

Lily: Me, Mary, you, and Will.

Snape: Try again.

Lily: Me, Will, you, and Mary.

Snape:No…

Lily: As long as I’m as far from you as possible, I think the order is correct.

Remus: *hugs Sirius from behind*

Remus: *plays with Sirius’ hair*

Remus: Eat my chocolate again and I’ll end you.

Remus: I have concluded that I can’t deal with people stupider than me.

James, Sirius and Peter:

Sirius: But you deal with us.

Remus with tons of empty coffee cups beside him and sleep-deprived eyes: Do I really?

Remus: I left my job today. I couldn’t work for that man after what he had said to me.

Sirius: What did he say?

Remus: Remus, you’re fired.

Remus: Be careful!

Sirius: Tried that once. Most boring day of my life.

James, to Lily: If I had a coin for every time you crossed my mind, I would only have one coin because you’re all I think about.

Sirius, interrupting: BRO? WHAT ABOUT ME? BITCH.

Laser Tag

Sirius, on the blue team: Truce, okay?

Remus, on the red team: Sure, love.

*Later*

Remus, shooting Sirius: Bitch, you thought.

Snape: When will the clown sightings start again? That was fun.

Sirius: Look into the mirror and they can start again

Sirius: I like you.

Remus: You must be joking.

Sirius: No, I’m serious.

Remus: Of course you’re Sirius. What do you mean?

Sirius, exasperated: I mean that I like you. I like everything about you.

Remus:

Remus, who hates himself: Sorry, can’t relate.

James, flirting: So, where are you from? Heaven?

Lily: Yeah, I’m a ghost. I died 15 years ago, just like that pick-up line.

Snape: You use emojis like a straight person.

Sirius: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said to me.

Evil clone of Remus pointing to the real Remus: shoot him, I’m the real one.

[Sirius shoots the evil clone directly].

Remus: how did you know that I was the real one?

Sirius: Easy, you would never waste a chance to die.

James: *holding a plant over Lily* Look what I found in the kitchen!

Lily:

James: It’s mistletoe! You owe me a kiss now!

Lily: Thats parsley…

James: …can we still ki-

Lily: No.

Marauders Fandom: (to anything cannon) Yeah fuck that, here’s how it really went down…

James: I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to be a parent. I can’t even raise a spider, how do you expect me to kill a child?

Remus: Are you sure you worded that right?

James: I fucked up