#weight stats
Bc i’m bored even if i know this won’t interest anybody, it’s like having a Q&A with myself :)
- Day 1 : stats
I’m 160cm (5"2) and I think I weight 56kg rn (123 lbs)
This is also my hw. My lw was 37kg (81 lbs) and my ugw is 36kg (79 lbs) bc I wanna be at least at bmi 14 if not less.
- Day 2 : height
So i’m 160cm (5"2) and nah i don’t like my height. I’d like to be taller, ~170/175cm (5"7)
I’m not dainty short, I’m stocky short >:(
I want those long legs!!
- Day 3 : thinspiration
I really love this pic even tho I have a ton of fav thinspi
She’s very thin and dainty, her waist is so tiny! I love her long and skinny legs and her outfit is so beautiful too! And those arms!
- Day 4 : fears about weight loss
Hmm I’d say
- losing my hair (I literally had a kind of baldness when at my lw it was so ugly),
- loose skin,
- worrying my friends and family and making their life harder
And most importantly the worst case would be to have to stop my studies to go inpatient. Rn my studies and my student friends are the best thing that happened to me. I love my studies, living alone, my supportive friends, the parties, the atmosphere. I don’t want to waste one of the best year of my youth bc of my ed.
- Day 5 : why
Well I really hate my body as long as i’m not underweight. I hate myself if i’m not skinny. My self esteem and mental health are also slightly better when I’m underweight. It’s the only moment I’m comfortable enough to wear what I’m want, to not be drowned in shame. And I have a certain pleasure to watch others eating while I can resist hunger.
I wanna lose for me. Deep down I also wanna lose to be attractive, and to be cared of. And so my parents won’t shame my weight gain.
In fact it’s a tough question bc my head is just a mess rn and I don’t really want to acknowledge my feelings, I’d rather be in denial lmaooo
- Day 6 : binges
Yes I binge. I had a long period of anorexia (restrictive only) then I started bingeing and compensating by restricting more
It turned into a kind of binge eating disorder since January 2020,which made me gain all the weight back and more.
Now I’m kinda restricting and sometimes I have really huge binges but I can’t purge.
I think I binge bc :
- I restrict too much and then have physical and psychological urges to eat and stop the starvation
- I probably try (unconsciously) to fill an emptiness, loneliness, a lack of something inside me, and food comforts me temporarily
LAST WEEK’S STATS (09.20.20)
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 153.2lbs (69.5kg)
BF: 28.2%
BMI: 28.0 (Overweight)
NEW STATS (09.27.20)
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 156.8lbs (71.1kg)
BF: 29.1%
BMI: 28.7 (Overweight)
IGAINEDby: +3.6lbs (+1.6kg), +1.5% BF, & +0.5 BMI Points
-
Perhaps choosing to attempt eating a healthy amount of calories for weight loss was ✨a mistake.✨ Can y’all believe I had negative net calories every day for the entire week but STILL gained in the end???? Not even gonna lie, I’m seriously feeling scammed right now, what the fuck.
Recap of This Week’s Calorie Intake Here
LAST WEEK’S STATS (09.13.20)
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 159.8lbs (72.5kg)
BF:29.8%
BMI: 29.2 (Overweight)
NEW STATS (09.20.20)
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 153.2lbs (69.5kg)
BF:28.2%
BMI: 28.0 (Overweight)
ILOSTby: -6.6lbs (-3kg), -1.6% BF, & -1.2 BMI Points
-
I guess that’s what happens when you only eat 3,490cal the whole week and also burn 14,309cal in total in the same week. ♀️ I’m going to try taking it easy for the first few days of this week (09.20 - 09.26), but I’m so excited right now; going back down to, or even past, my LW by next week should totally be a piece of cake!!
