my family is going going to the beach this weekend (not to swim or anything it’s too cold) and my mom was saying how we’re gonna try a few restaurants and i’m so scared i’m gonna gain weight from this $hit
So recovery was the worst idea ever (thanks therapist ) and I have now returned to tumble after a… ahem a hiatus of sorts…
yayyyyy
Honestly I hate my body more than ever, I gained around 10 pounds between December and now which is soooo great, and to top it all off I’m going on holiday in less than a week and I just feel like complete shit. I’m not even going to be able to enjoy it because I’ll be too busy standing there and feeling like a whale ♀️
Not my parents being so “concerned” about my weight and telling me I need to eat more, only to then shame me for eating a biscuit. Thanks, I hate it here
I’ve gained so much weight these past couple months cause my parents have been forcing me to eat and threatened to weigh me and stuff, and now my mum has just come up to me and said “I forgot to tell you but I’ve lost 4 and a half pounds this week on my new diet ” … I- I AM ACTUALLY ABOUT TO UNALIVE WHAT THE FUCKETY FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MOTHER
Okay so over the Christmas holidays and then until today (11/01/21) I have been eating “normally” and so I guess sort of like recovery?? Idk it wasn’t a real recovery attempt I just had to eat cause I’ve been around my parent 24/7. I gained a couple of pounds over the holiday as I tried my best not to eat loads, but now I am more determined than ever to go back to restricting and lose the weight I gained and then more weight so I can finally reach my goal weight. Skinny legend here I come✌️
So this guy I’m talking to told me he only likes skinny girls and wouldn’t like me if I was chubby or fat, so I guess in some way it was a compliment/way of calling me skinny but tbh it just made me feel much more self conscious about my weight and body also fat phobia is not the vibes like….. no sir, I am the same person whether I’m fat or skinny, I may have an Ed but I do not support fat phobia
I guess that’s what happens when you only eat 3,490cal the whole week and also burn 14,309cal in total in the same week. ♀️ I’m going to try taking it easy for the first few days of this week (09.20 - 09.26), but I’m so excited right now; going back down to, or even past, my LW by next week should totally be a piece of cake!!
Proof for myself that you don’t need to water fast or jump into low restriction to lose weight, high* restriction can also be effective, and slow weight loss is still weight loss. What a concept!
*Different people have different definitions of what is a “high restriction”. For myself, I automatically consider 4 digit numbers, including 1,000, to be high restriction. So, I consider this past week of keeping my daily intake at ~1,000cal or lower to be high restriction.
I don’t even Want to stop eating to loose weight anymore I’m just tired of feeling controlless and over thinking about food. I’m tired of eating something and right after dictate myself for eating it, or wanting to be different body types nothing like mine every other day. one day my arms are too big, the next day my love handles or too big, the next day my ass is too small. One day I want to work on my muscle and eat protein, then the next day I’m worried if I’m gaining weight cause of the protein, then the next day I want to starve myself then the next day I want to keep my boobs. I’m exhausted. Why can’t I just be enough?
Me: why do you care about changing your body so much, no matter how skinny you get someone else will be smaller and no matter how big your ass gets garentee someone will have a bigger rounder and juicier ass than you
Imagine seeing a real life thinspo girl at a gourmet HAMBURGER joint and by the time you noticed her you were already half way done with your burger. That was my life last night
