I just broke my intermittent fast by eating these biscuits I’ve been craving for ages (calories unknown which is driving me crazy) and I weighed myself after and I’m 2 whole kgs heavier than yesterday

I’m freaking out but like it’s probably undigested food

I’m mad af myself since I haven’t been losing just gaining slightly and losing that

Ok I have this problem

I don’t know the word for it but it isn’t binging

It isn’t eating a lot without realizing what you’re doing

It’s like giving in to extreme hunger and eating anything you can find to satisfy that hunger

Almost like snacking?

It can be fruit or crackers, normally something small. Sometimes it can be like sprinkles if you’re desperate for food but don’t want to eat a lot

Does anyone know why this happens since it ruins my fast??

“Did you have breakfast this morning?”

“Yeah”

My breakfast:

Ed culture is either being overhydrated or dehydrated

Everytime I think I’ve made ANY progress I go on tumblr and then cry

Many interactions today so I’ll list them

1. My sister said “I’m actually beginning to think you have an ed rn”

2. My dad ranted to me (for like the trillionth time) that what I’m doing is wrong and I’m hurting my body and I’ll end up in hospital

3. My mom was shocked abt all the weight I lost

4. My sister thought I was sucking in my stomach but I was relaxed (same w/ my mom)

Hectic day tbh

I wanna walk into school feeling like a badass since I lost all my weight since last time school was properly open

Like I’ve already lost 5 kgs, pls just let me lose another (AT LEAST) 5 to get me down to 50

I’m working out and restricting, every. single. day.

Where are the results I was told I should get???

Remember when calories were a silly number on the packaging of food alongside some other random numbers

I’m so desperate to lose weight like I can’t live like this

It’s pushing me to the edge at this point

0 cal broth

(ok it’s probably like .5-1 calories but…)

ok so i get a bowl of hot water maybe ½-¾ a cup of water.

then get you some tajin (7 cals per tsp)- you don’t need too much, maybe like 1/8 tsp

then *i know most people don’t have this but they sell it for pretty cheap on walmart or online* jalapeño salt(0 cals) and really sprinkle that shit in there

it’s not too flavorful or anything but if you are fasting/ feeling like bingeing it is really good :)

you can also add garlic powder, hot sauce(make sure it’s zero cal) or other spices too.

So recovery was the worst idea ever (thanks therapist ) and I have now returned to tumble after a… ahem a hiatus of sorts…

yayyyyy

Honestly I hate my body more than ever, I gained around 10 pounds between December and now which is soooo great, and to top it all off I’m going on holiday in less than a week and I just feel like complete shit. I’m not even going to be able to enjoy it because I’ll be too busy standing there and feeling like a whale ‍♀️

Throwback to the time I told a close friend I was anorexic and they said, “you don’t look anorexic.”

Still fucking hurts

It sounds dumb but the fact that some people just eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full never ceases to amaze me :0

Not my parents being so “concerned” about my weight and telling me I need to eat more, only to then shame me for eating a biscuit. Thanks, I hate it here

Ana Accountability (01.21.22)

Morning:

12 fl oz can Mountain Dew Major Melon, 160cal

Tyson Any'tizers Buffalo Style Hot Wings (unmeasured), ~190cal

Subtotal: ~350cal

-

Afternoon:

1 banana (unmeasured), ~110cal

12 fl oz Arizona Diet Half & Half Tea Lemonade, 10cal

Wrigley’s Extra Polar Ice Gum, 5cal

Monster Pops Lemon Lime popsicle, 60cal

Subtotal: ~185cal

-

Evening:

Wendy’s medium fries, 350cal

Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich, 500cal

Wendy’s medium (~20 fl oz) Coke Zero, 0cal

Beef lo mein, ???cal

Egg fried rice, ???cal

Subtotal: 850cal+

-

Total Caloric Intake: ????cal (1,380cal+)

-

Not me failing at high restriction. I was aiming to limit myself to 1,500cal at most, but of course one of my parents has to suddenly decided to bring Chinese takeout home for everybody on the day I start trying to do daily accountability posts again. I guess I should have expected to fuck up the first day back when it’s been quite a while since I actually starved myself anyways. Oh well, I won’t let this stop me from trying to restrict tomorrow or the day after. I’m sure it won’t be long until I start getting restless and begin naturally restricting more and more as time goes on also.

Also, I apologize to anyone that finds the formatting of this post kind of ugly; I’ve never really known how to make my daily accountability posts look particularly nice and neat.

Okay, I think I need to start doing accountability posts on here, because otherwise I’ll never lose weight on my own. I feel like if there’s other eyes on the numbers, I might feel pressure to keep the numbers down even if no one is forcing me.

I don’t really know what format to go with though. Either I do my old ana log format from before or I update every time I consume something. Or maybe both? I’m reallyyy unsure because it’s been a while since I posted anything having to do with me actually restricting at all.

the severely mentally ill urge to date someone equally mentally ill or with the same illnesses so i get worse just from being with them

Any grown mentally ill bitches from EDblr wanna be in an unhealthy friendship where we never shut up?

I’m a 23-year-old (gender-questioning) AFAB bi/queer, I’m dx with ADHD and BPD, and I’m (objectively) fat with a dead ED blog, lol.

Uhhh… Does someone around my age wanna be fasting buddies because I need someone to hold my hand or else I will crack and eat?

That one TikTok audio that goes like “This is the best idea I ever had! … That’s the worst idea you ever had!”, but the video is my restrictive ED telling me “Wouldn’t it be so fun to date and/or live with another sapphic anorexic? What if sapphic anas had a secret code on their dating profiles to identify each other easily? :)” and then the so-called “normal” part of me going “You seriously need to get help. Forreal.”

Sooo…

I’m back to this blog! I doubt my stay will be any more permanent than the last few times, but I guess I just wanted to provide a little update on myself.

In terms of my weight, things aren’t going very well. :( I’ve been sort of fluctuating and even going higher that what I would normally consider my base weight. I’m not sure exactly what is causing this; my best guess is that it could be stress. I haven’t even been weighing myself the past several weeks because it’s just too depressing for me to have to see the numbers going up.

In terms of my mental health, well… It depends on the day, or maybe even the hour. I’ve been stressing over work along with my regular anxieties. Though recently I haven’t been working due to illness (I’m pretty sure it’s not Covid but I still kind of want to get tested just in case). I’ve also recently gone on SSRI medication for anxiety, specifically generic Zoloft. I was honestly hoping to be put on a stimulant like Adderall or Vyvanse for my ADHD so that I could lose weight from it, but oh well, I guess. I can only do so much to control what my psychiatrist chooses to prescribe me. As much as I tried to put emphasis on my ADHD, I guess it was a bit more apparent(?) how much my anxiety was weighing on me.