Don’t you just love it when you gain 0.4 kg after eating 300 cals?

Someone here is messing with me

12.3.

Firs day in a while under 1000kcal. And I didn’t even feel deprived or anything, I just had to control 2-3 impulses to take another sweet. This is good. This is good.

However I seriously need to get back to exercising regularly. It’s been almost two weeks and all I’ve done is walking. I feel like my stomach is getting flabby, my waist less prominent and my thighs are bigger than ever.

Tomorrow morning is the weigh in. I’m high key dreading it.

Gather the courage to starve

3.3.

Apart form this morning’s meltdown, I am doing surprisingly okay.

Had a delicious (though high cal) breakfast, a salad for lunch and I did eat my usual sweets after lunch but I kept them under 200cal. And I ate 8 peanuts and drank 0.5 glass of coke (non zero - not smart I know) around 5pm. All in all around 1000kcals.

But it’s okay because I walked 14k steps and did yoga for 30 mins.

I gave into temptation though, and I stepped on the scale even though I had planned to weigh myself only once a week during March. The number wasn’t very positive but neither was it triggering. Anyways, it was a slip up and I’m not gonna let get it to me. I’ll be weighing myself on Saturday and then I’ll let you know what the number is.

There is a difference between going to sleep feeling pleasantly empty and laying awake all night, not being able to sleep because you are so hungry it literally hurts.

Something old, something new - bingeing and downers

And I got through the weekend fairly well… I was actually proud of myself.

But then I binged today, on Monday. I justfuckinghad to, didn’t I? It was horrible, absolutely horrible…

Now I can’t sleep. I just took some downers, so we’ll see how that goes I guess…

High restriction really does work!

Who would’ve thought? I actually lost 1kg in a week by eating 600-800 kcal and burning around 200 (just walking)! And only today after 7 days did I get the urge to binge, but it was totally manageable and I kept it under 1500 kcal. I’m so excited for next week!

woow ,, i’ve been inactive for a long time ,, i’m sorry . i’ve been stuck in inpatient, but they’re not monitoring my meals anymore which means it’s time to get back into shape !!

food diary ;; thursday 1st october, 2020.

note!! had a little binge at the end of the day,, nothing much,, just because i got really hungry and bad chest pains for no reason. -.-

breakfast ;; 0 calories.

• skipped.

lunch ;; 47 calories.

• 1 whole carrot - 30 calories.

• 15g mashed potatoes - 13 calories.

• 0.4 sachet of ketchup - 4 calories.

• 0.5 teaspoon of salt - 0 calories.

• 0.3 tablespoon of malt vinegar - 0 calories.

dinner ;; 69 calories.

• 2 slices of wafer thin ham - 14 calories.

• 1 slice warbutons wholemeal bread - 55 calories.

snacks ;; 72 calories.

• 2 light rich tea biscuits - 72 calories.

exercise ;; 26.5 calories burned.

• 770 steps.

total calories consumed ;; 188 calories.

— stay alive, you beautiful human

being. ♡

aaa i miss the time when i could eat in public without feeling like i’m being judged

Updating this cause i ended up eating half of my dinner so i stayed on the 300s (ง'̀-‘́)ง

- //

Breakfast(0kcal):

• green tea (0kcal)

Lunch(194kcal):

• fish, spinach and cheese patty (170kcal?)
• tomato (24kcal)

Snack(127kcal):

• vanilla yogurt (190gr / 87kcal)
• granola (1 tablespoon / 40kcal)
• 2 pieces of gum (10kcal)

Dinner(15kcal):

• lettuce (16gr / 3kcal)
• kale (17gr / 12kcal)

Water intake: i have no idea

Exercise:

Total: ☕️ 356kcal ☕️

it just hit me that we’re close to easter shit too many temptations

I want to be that friend who gets offered to sit on someone else’s lap :/

- //

Breakfast(0kcal):

• green tea (0kcal)

Lunch(105kcal):

• egg white omelette (90gr / 46kcal)
• ham (33gr / 34kcal)
• ricotta cheese (17gr / 26kcal)

Snack(20kcal):

• coke zero (0kcal)
• green tea (0kcal)
• rice cake (20kcal)

Dinner(268kcal):

• vegetarian sushi (1 roll / 268kcal?)

Water intake:1L

Exercise:

Total:393kcal

I hope i stay on the 300’s

i’m being (lowkey?) forced into recovery and i’m this close to k wording myself, istg i want to cry so bad

after my appointment with the psychiatrist i saw a really skinny girl in the waiting room and got triggered like-‍♀️ please give me a break

30 day thinspo challenge day 17: “Do you have an eating disorder?”

not oficially diagnosed but today i’m have an appointment with a psychiatrist to determinate that (❍ᴥ❍ʋ) my psychologist says i do have one but my parents don’t think so…

Food diary - 01/03/21

Breakfast(21kcal):

• green grapes (6 / 21kcal)
• green tea (0kcal)

Lunch(203kcal):

• steak milanesa (92gr / 185kcal)
• lettuce (11gr / 6kcal)
• kale (18gr / 12kcal)

Snack(0kcal)

• skipped

Dinner(63kcal):

• roasted eggplant (185gr / 46kcal)
• cabbage (105gr / 17kcal)

Water intake:1L

Exercise:

Total:287