But to dig deeper, Olson and her team focused on more than 300 children who had undergone a social transition.
About two-thirds were transgender boys, meaning boys who had been assigned a female gender at birth; about one-third were transgender girls.
Solely on the social transition front, Olson. noted that over five years only about 7% of the children transitioned back at least once.
By the end of the study period, 94% of the kids continued to identify as the gender they had embraced when first socially transitioning. (That figure includes the just over 1% who had at one point re transitioned back to their birth gender, before then returning back again to the gender to which they had initially transitioned.)
Of the 6% who did not stick with their initial transition, a little more than 3% described themselves as non-binary by the end of the study period, while just under 3% said they identified with their birth gender. (Identifying with one’s birth gender was notably more common among kids who had socially transitioned before the age of 6.)
“Interestingly, we are not finding that the youth who re-transitioned in our study are experiencing that as traumatic,” Olson noted. “We’ve been finding that when youth are in supportive environments — supportive in the sense of being OK with the exploration of gender - both the initial transition and a later re-transition are fine.”
Indeed, “socially transitioning youth are [simply] making the same ‘decisions’ that cisgender children are making, in that they are seeking clothes, hairstyles, names, accessories, activities and playmates that reflect their gender identity and the resources in their community,” said Matt Goldenberg, a psychologist in adolescent medicine with the Seattle Children’s Gender Clinic.
- when you get someone’s pronouns right, don’t pat yourself on the back.
- when you get them wrong, don’t give a list of excuses. just say sorry, correct yourself, and move on! trust me, handling it this way is better for everyone.
- if someone gets your family member/friend’s pronouns wrong, only correct them if it’s a safe environment.
- people get frustrated when they are constantly misgendered. don’t blame trans people for being upset about this, especially if you’re the one who misgendered them.
- correcting people when they misgender you can be tiring. just because someone doesn’t correct you, doesn’t mean you’re right or that they don’t mind.
- people introduce their pronouns in different ways. sometimes it’s direct, like saying your name and pronouns. other times it’s through conversation, implying, or correcting. if you aren’t sure, ask when possible!
- nobody cares if the person was being mean to you. that doesn’t mean you can misgender them. use peoples pronouns.
THESE ARE SO IMPORTANT
When you are corrected, don’t take it as an attack. It is a reminder, the person is helping you and leading you in the right direction gently. Be thankful and move on.
Things don’t always line up the way it seems like they would or should. Clothes can be an expression, but also mean something different to everyone. Gender is an experience, not a fixed location.
Please check out Laneha House, the small press who edited and printed the anthology The BAYlies that this is included in!
“I consider myself trans masculine. Throughout my life I’ve swung between presenting more masculine and more feminine.”
“It’s not that I felt equally boy and girl, it was more like… [BOY MODE] [GIRL SUBROUTINE]”
“Sometimes dressing "as a boy” would just make my dysphoria worse.“
"Excuse me, young lady!” [FAILURE]
“And sometimes dressing "as a girl” could enhance the boy feeling. (Maybe my wires got crossed or something…) It was kinda like it make me hyper aware of it.“
"Gender identity doesn’t always align with typical expectations of masculine or feminine gender expression. I just want to wear what makes me feel good!”
That 60 year old woman who calls herself transexual has a lot more to teach you about the trans experience than the cis woman telling her “it’s transgender now”
The autistic who calls themself low functioning has more to say about autism than the neurotypical telling them “that’s offensive. It’s called high support needs.”
Your gender identity is not something you can see. It has to be expressed. We’ve been taught most of our life’s it just a binary, masculine or feminine like your body sex, male or female. But actually your sex isn’t as simple as your genitalia. There are also intersex persons, a person’s who might have both male and female genitalia or just female or just male.
Your gender is not your sex, your genitalia. It’s between your ears, in your mind. Your gender identity is separate and far more diverse in nature. It has hues and shades that can feel like it varies to some. Current theory is you can express your gender by the age of two.
Your gender expression is how you want to express yourself with clothes, jewelry, hair style, etc… It varies by culture and usually expressing your gender identity, your unique self, but not always.
Pressure to conform to cultural norms is ever present. But pushing someone too far from expressing their own gender identity can cause gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria,a distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity.
A person’s gender identity, like my own, leans more feminine than masculine. It would be easy if I had a female body, but I don’t. It’s male. Culturally a male dressing in female clothes is has not always been accepted in our patriarchal society. In the past it might have been seen by some as a man abandoning themselves to dress as the…”weaker sex.,” that men are superior to women.
Let me be very clear… I don’t believe a female, the average woman, is weaker than a male in the mind. This is an outdated concept that many religion’s still cling to and has influenced our society. And second… Society should stop ridiculing those of us who are transgender. We should not be culturally pushed, bullied, laughed at and humiliated, to conform to your concept of how to look and live our lives, what bathroom to use, etc…. Our 40% suicide rate should be a clue of how unfairly we are being treated.
So when you see a man or a woman don’t assume a gender. Don’t assume they are heterosexual. Don’t assume society has fairly allowed them to express their unique self. And when you do see a colorful head of hair or clothes, a man in a dress, a woman dressed like a man, or anything else, etc.. celebrate it. Smile warmly at them expressing themselves. We need more diversity and understanding to brighten up the landscape of our lives.
“We Exist” is an upcoming documentary which explores the life of individuals who exist outside the gender binary while living in a binary world. The film intimately follows the life of Lauren–an individual who identifies as Gender Neutral–and the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes Lauren must go through just to be.
Get in touch! Website: WeExist.co Facebook: /WeExistMovement Twitter: @WeExistMovement Instagram: @WeExistMovement Contact: [email protected]
@james-isnt-here , thank you so much! mobiles a bitch so I can’t pass it on quite the same, but thank you for thinking about us when you sent this ♡
@ anon: i know its been a while since u sent this, so i hope u got some answers in the meantime! Otherwise, I can’t exactly offer too much an answer other than you gotta find what feels right!
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” ―Harvey Fierstein
Bisexual+ people may not be perceived as queer if they’re datingsomeoneperceived asthe“opposite” of their gender – so does that mean they have straight passing privilege?
You might think so, but try considering the perspective in this comic for a more nuanced answer to this question. It’s a breakdown of the assumptions behind the idea of bisexual+ “straight passing privilege” – and the harm you cause by erasing people’s identities when you make these assumptions.
It’s possible to acknowledge that different queer folks have different experiences without erasing anyone.
Bisexual+, Biromantic+ (Bi+ for short) is the commonly used “shorthand” for the entire Non-Monosexual Community including but not limited to: Bisexual/Biromantic, Ambisexual, Flexisexual, Fluid, Heteroflexible/Homoflexible, Multisexual, No Labels, Omnisexual, Pansexual, PoMosexual, Polysexual, Sapiosexual, Queer, and so many more.
Bisexuality is the attraction to more than one gender, or to genders similar to- and different from- one’s own.
Bisexual Erasure,Bisexual Invisibility is the tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or re-explain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, news media and other primary sources. In its most extreme form, bisexual erasure can include denying that bisexuality exists. It is often a manifestation of conscious and/or unconscious biphobia and/or monosexism.
Straight Passing, Hetero Passing, etc. is all those things you get just by being, acting, or appearing straight. Conversely, straight privilege is all those things you lose when you are, act, or appear as queer. Becasue hetrosexuality is (inncorectly) seen as the “default” state, it means that all people are initially assumed to be “straight” unless they do something to actively signal they are queer, ie dress, mannerisms, coming out, wearing pins, badges, t-shirts, jewelry, etc.
Trans Erasure,Non-Binary Erasure, etc, is the tendency to ignore, deny, or minimize the existence of trans, androgynous, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, NB, etc. people. It is often a manifestation of conscious and/or unconscious cisexism and/or transphobia.
As gender is a social construct, I don’t believe someone is born with an ‘innate gender identity’. However, we might try to figure out where we feel like we ‘belong’ the most and who we can relate to. Combining this with the struggles we’ve endured and which aspects we identify with, will result in some sort of feeling, that some might interpret or see as 'gender identity’. Naturally, this is influenced by multiple factors.Therefore, it doesn’t surprise me that people come up with things such as 'absorbgender’, in an attempt to describe their feelings towards the concept of gender. But I don’t think that coming up with more words to describe our personal relation to this social construct will help on the long term, as this results in only more boxes. And exactly those (restrictive) boxes are what made us feel out of place in the first place. What if we’d get rid of the boxes? What if we’d address the restrictions we feel/felt, instead?
Okay so weird thing happening,,, I’m genderfluid and I normally don’t feel a strong sense of femininity but I’ve had an urge to,,, wear a long skirt?? Maybe with frills?? Where did this come from???
swishhhy and airy, spins in them are!!! good!!
Y’know what, valid take
I’m genderflux on the masc end (aka. They/them and neo-pronouns + he/him is fine, but i don’t identify with she/her) and have had an urge to wear pretty skirts and other traditionally fem clothes.
I would but dysphoria, so you do you, you’re valid! ♡
Learning so much being with bunny, until not long ago my knowledge of, and experience with trans girls was zero. One thing that’s hard is dysphoria, that thing, dear reader, is a cunt. Seeing it take someone from a good mood into a dark place so quickly is , to be frank, terrifying. Being a Normy Norman until now I didn’t only have zero comprehension of it, I didn’t know it existed or what people in the trans community go through. As far as I can tell the closest thing I’ve dealt with myself has been anxiety attacks, and the closest ive seen friends deal with is fibromyalgia.
From my experience so far it seems the best I can do to help is just be there for hugs and support, leave my natural narcissistic tendencies behind and accept that it’s nothing to do with me and I don’t posess a magic cure. Luckily I do posess lots of patience and an open heart.
Would like to hear from other partners of trans girls or guys on your experiences with this.
