Fall in love with a Demisexual who finally got to put up their first Christmas tree this year!

Fall in love with a demisexual who was a million pinterest boards but hasn’t actually tried doing a single thing they’ve pinned

Every time I see a cishet aspec talk about how they don’t feel like they belong in LGBT+ spaces, I almost always see someone say that they do. That cishet aspecs are LGBT+/queer, despite anything exc1usionists say.

One look at my blog will tell you I’m a cishet acespec who agrees. And anyone who tries to start that diskourse with me will get blocked because I have better things to do than argue with strangers on the internet.

But I get the feeling that, inclusionists who aren’t cishet aspecs, don’t realize why it’s so hard for us to feel like we’re LGBT+. People seem to think gatekeepers are the #1 cause, and drowning them out via validation posts will solve everything. Maybe it’s just me, but that feeling didn’t stem from gatekeepers and a lack of validation posts. 

Weird comparison time.

Let’s pretend, LGBT+ is metal (the music genre). And the subgenres of metal are the identities. Now, if someone asked you to name a subgenre of metal, what would your first answer be?

Maybe you thought of death metal. Black metal. Heavy metal. Maybe you didn’t even know there were subgenres of metal and simply thought of screaming and electric guitars. If someone came up to you and said they were a metalhead, you’d assume they’d be into that. If you are a metalhead yourself, you might even ask the person if they’re a fan of Cannibal Corpse or Metallica or whatever metal bands metalheads are listening to these days. 

But did any of you think of symphonic metal? Would someone who only listens to symphonic metal be considered a metalhead? It’s a metal subgenre, after all. But it’s also not what the majority thinks of when they think of metal. 

Now, let’s pretend you listen to symphonic metal. None of the other subgenres. You don’t care for growls, or for the emphasis on guitars and drums that comes with the more popular metal subgenres. Instead, you want an emphasis on keyboards and orchestras, maybe even an opera singer. With those differences in mind, imagine going up to someone and telling them you’re a metalhead. What incorrect assumptions are they going to make about the kind of music you like? Based off the fact the majority of the world thinks metal = death metal?

And those assumptions aren’t unfounded. One peek in metal spaces will tell you that the majority of metalheads love death metal. Imagine going into those spaces, being someone who only listens to symphonic metal. You see all these metalheads talking about the latest Cannibal Corpse album, and you want to talk about Imperial Age. But nobody there seems to cares about Imperial Age. They’re too busy bonding over Cannibal Corpse. You don’t know any of their songs. People are now recommending death metal bands. You don’t like death metal. Nobody is talking about symphonic metal. And the metalheads there who do listen to symphonic metal, also listen to death metal. They’re still bonding with the rest of the group in a way that you can’t. 

Being around all these metalheads who love death metal, when you don’t care for death metal, isn’t going to make you feel like much of a metalhead. It’s just going to make you wonder why you’re even there.

Maybe you’re filled with so much confidence in being a metalhead that you wouldn’t let something like that stop you. But not all of us are. And that’s one reason why you’ll see cishet aspecs talk about not feeling like they’re LGBT+/queer enough.

It’s why I don’t. I feel out of place because I’m cis and heteromantic. If I told people I’m LGBT+/queer, they’re going to assume I’m either attracted to the same gender, or that I’m trans. They will act or treat me like I am. Meaning, I’d have to correct them. Maybe even justify why I’m calling myself LGBT+/queer. If I join those spaces, it’s going to be filled with people who can fall under the first four letters in some way or another. Most of the focus is on them. Maybe there’d be a mention of aspecs here and there, but not enough to feel like being in those spaces is worth it. (Especially when half the time, it’s all about whether or not we even belong!) It’s easier to say I’m ace and stick to ace spaces where I’m guaranteed to fit in. 

I realize this whole post looks like something an exc1usionist can take and twist into their own narrative. But you know what?

There are people out there, who don’t care what kind of metal you listen to. The fact is, all metal is satanic music corrupting the youth. Just like all orientations other than 100% Straight are bad. They don’t care if you’re gay or asexual. They won’t even listen to you long enough to learn the difference. To them, anyone who isn’t cishetallo is fucked in the head. At the end of the day, we’re all sexual, romantic, and gender minorities.

(Disclaimer: I would like to once again repeat that I do not want to see any diskourse on this post or engage in any of that noise. You’ll just get blocked. I wrote this to give inclusionists insight from a cishet acespec.)

Okay, this is something that I’ve been meaning to talk about for a while.

Before I learned what asexuality was, I didn’t know what attraction was either. Not quite.

I still got crushes and “fawned” over them. But like, whenever I either got bored of obsessing or they moved away or I found out that they were already dating someone, or I met someone else, I’d instantly go: aight I’ll stop now.

And it literally was like turning a switch off. My friends all looked at me weird, but then again, so did I whenever I saw them actually pursuing a relationship with their crushes no matter what. Like??? Okay, you do you but I could never

artist:celepom

Is is too soon to headcanon Bruno Madrigal as aroace?

artist:celepom

autochorissexual, demiromantic, genderfluid and what-have-you

cw: mentions of smex and stuff

Had a sexologist come to our auditorium yesterday and, as a sex-repulsed ace, I thought I was going to hate every second of it.

Oddly enough, I didn’t?? I actually had a blast and learned a lot of things. That woman changed my whole perception on so much. And I have to say this.

Allos and all you non-repulsed aces: don’t be ashamed of your sexual nature. Talk about it, be gross and “not proper”, fight against the shaming, demand your sexual rights because did you know there was a World Congress of Sexology held in Hong Kong, 1999 that established the Declaration of Sexual Rights? If you want to know more, here.

ALSO!! Aces who still m@ stürb@ te and have sexual fantasies: YOU’RE SO VALID! Don’t hide it thinking that you’re “betraying” the asexual community like I did. I promise that you’re not. The community is here for you and there’s little (regarding your sexuality) that you can do to harm it in any way.

ace and aro and so on and so forth

cw: mentions of seggs and self-ple@ süre

Signs I should have known I was ace: M*sturb*t¡0n edition

Before I dive into this rant, can we all just agree that even asexuals m-bate? Yes, even girls. Idk and idc when or how or why society ever began to believe that only straight, allosexual men are allowed to do it, I just don’t want to see that crap on my blog, okay? Great.

Now, one might argue about the exact time I started “engaging in self pleasure”.

I remember exploring my body since I was 8, I don’t know if that counts. But I only actually began “getting that pleasure” when I was almost 15 that I learned what the thing I had been doing was called.

Ever since then, I’ve had all sorts of “experiences” regarding how I see m**tûrb*t¡on.

For example, you know how I started reading fanfiction almost two years ago. And I’m guessing you know what kind of ~f i l t h~ can be found there.

I read all about these h0rny teens tossing one off while thinking of someone!!

Honestly, I thought it was far-fetched, written to attract readers because THERE’S NO WAY-

until…. I got on Omegle a couple of months ago and had a brief, highly uncomfortable conversation with this dude who didn’t know what asexuality meant. After I explained it to him, he went, “but do you m-bate?”

And I’m there like…. Not that that’s any of your business, but yea? What’s that got to do with anything?

He said, “well who do you think of when you…?”

I’m sitting there, staring at my screen like…. huh?

I said as much, “no one? Who tf am I supposed to think of?”

Then he went on about p0rn, and didn’t I watch and imagine myself being in the place of the girl on screen?

I’m like what?!?! No, why would I?

Needless to say, I see that allosexuals don’t watch p**n to m-bate by listening to the sounds or just projecting that feeling of ar0üsal. No, allos actually picture themselves in those videos. Good heavens…

Listen, I don’t shame anyone, ever. Otherwise, me making this post would contradict everything.

It was just a shock for me to learn that, that’s all. Is it really okay to picture someone you know… in bed with you? Or is it like, what they don’t know doesn’t hurt them?

I have tried it, trust me. But the second I attempt to picture someone else touching me, it’s like turning a switch off. I could never. What does work for me, is the feeling. Focusing on my senses, and getting that stress-relief. P**n only works when I’m watching a sole person and projecting what they’re feeling into my own body.

But yeah, this should have been a major sign towards my sexuality for a couple of years. I just didn’t know I was supposed to feel that way about self-pl**süre.

Meh, better late than never I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

wow the universe is out to get me today.

my little sister doesn’t know I’m ✨ yet

and she just send me a screenshot of a conversation she had with a friend. Under it, she wrote “are u into girls?”

She was talking about her friend!!! But I thought she was asking me!!!

I swear my heart fell to my feet, P A N I K

(In case you don’t believe me.)

you know that trend on tiktok where you show your childhood crush and then your current crush?

I used to laugh and call it fake.

But I just realized my current crush literally looks like Silvermist, I’m not laughing anymore-

you know how yours truly is asexual going through a bisexuality?crisis

well this person I’m chatting with on IG said they’re asexual and pansexual and described it as “gay without being gay”

and I’m crying because that’s spot on-

asexualone:

Will talk about asexuality later today in front of my uni class.

I'mma let you know how it goes

Nothing.Niche. Never seen so many disinterested faces in the same room.

It also went horribly. There wasn’t a single critique the teacher left unsaid, I’m sure.

I shall try again with another coursework in a month or so.

On the other hand, my first ever girl crush asked me for a pen with those doe eyes and gorgeous smile of hers and let me tell you, I’m never throwing that pen away.

So let’s just say I had my reconciliation after a failed coursework

Will talk about asexuality later today in front of my uni class.

I'mma let you know how it goes

Me when I watch yet another m/f relationship turn romantic on TV: ughh seriously why? They were better as friends smh

Me when I watch an obviously queer couple be labeled as ‘just friends’: nO THEY FCKN AIN’T, THEY’RE GAY FOR EACH OTHER OMG STOP DOING LOVE SO DIRTY

I’ve got love for you if you’re a sex-positive ace.

I’ve got love for you if you’re a sex-repulsed ace.

I’ve got love for you if you’re a sex-indifferent ace.

I’ve got love for you if you’re an ace who likes masturbating.

I’ve got love for you if you’re a questioning ace.

I’ve got love for you if you’re an ace who isn’t out yet.

I’ve got love for you if you’re out as ace.

I’ve got love for you if you doubt you’re “ace enough” sometimes.

I’ve got love for you if you’re a cishet ace.

I’ve got love for you if you’ve ever cried yourself to sleep wondering why you don’t feel like the way others do.

I’ve got love for you if you’ve ever tried to ‘fix’ yourself.

I’ve got love for all you beautiful aces out there.

I love you, you’re valid, happy pride month.

When a thotbot gets into your DMs and tries to scam you of your money promising to cam for you but you’re ace af

Aces and Aros

(A queer parody of Elle King’s “Exes and Oh’s” by @peppertherealmvp)

My friends were googling their celebrity crush,

But I don’t get what about them makes them all blush,

Whoa-oh,

I don’t get it all that much.

I’m expected to want sex just because I’m a teen,

Yet all through my life I haven’t felt all that much need,

Yeah-Yee,

What does “hot” even mean?

1,2,3 dysphoria for me

Constantly mistaken for celibacy

1,2,3 “you’re not LGBT!”

Sexual attraction just isn’t for me

Aces and the A-Aros,

We’re haunted,

Where even when we’re getting flaunted,

We just do-o-on’t

No we don’t, get it all

Aces and Aros

Need no potion

No need to be fixed in this ocean

We still have the

Emotion,

yeah, ohh!

Ace and aro.

I question myself every living day,

While I’m trying to get through life everyone is wanting dates

Hey-ey,

I just don’t roll that way.

They ask me who I like,

But I don’t feel attraction,

So I pick a random person just to try to fit in,

Y’know,

Coz that’s how society goes.

1,2,3 more dysphoria for me,

I just wanna have friends or a zucchini,

1,2,3 no romance for me,

Platonic attraction will only work for me.

Aces and the a-aros,

In action,

We just don’t feel the attraction,

Even if we wa-anted it we

Can’t control,

Aces and the a-aros

Are valid.

No matter what we want

It’s valid! We still lo-ove and that’s how it goes!

Ace and Aros.

1,2,3 no more dysphoria for me,

Fuck this heteronormative society!

1,2,3 I identify as me!

Aspecs rule the world and that’s the fuckin’ tea!

Aces and the a-Aros,

In harmony

Lack of attraction doesn’t lessen you honey,

On Valentine’s you save all the!! Money!!

Aces and the a-aros,

Among me,

Let’s rise up and tell our story,

But it’s okay if you are

NOT!!

READ-Y!!

Ace and Aro.

He screm