i made you a playlist and you made me a promise that you broke

tell me when and where and i’ll be there

always

it took me long to finally understand that you didn’t just not know how much i was hurting, you simply didn’t care

I love your voice and your smile and I think about you way too much

we were given two hands, two legs, two eyes, two ears, but one heart. why? because we are supposed to find the other

idk what this is from

its actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter boy like him, so i got myself a citrus friend~

~cavetown

<3

I think we’d look super cute together.

you’re in love

(n.) the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

“I love sharing my time with you, breakfast time, lunch time, dinnertime, bedtime, and all of the hours between..”

If I had a watch, I would never look at it cause I would always be looking at you - eUë

HOGY LEHET, HOGY MINDIG FIATALABBA FUTOK BELE?

Aha, szeretek ugyanabba a pocsolyába belesétállni :)

MIÉRT VAN BARATNŐJE? :)

toallthequotesivelovedbefore-de:

I just want to be with you right now, holding you tight. But you’re hundreds of miles away, and my heart aches to be near yours.

The distance between us is breaking my heart

For me it’s all the good and bad and everything in between. It’s the light that glimmers in your eyes when you get excited, it’s the pain you try to hide when you struggle to open up. It’s your ability to be vulnerable and kind after everything. It’s your will to change and want to be better. It’s your laugh at the stupidest little things that make you fall over and hug yourself. It’s your passion for the things you love. It’s how intelligent you are without realizing it. It’s your humor to turn a bad mood into a good one. It’s your compassion to help wherever you can. I could keep going but it comes down to the fact that as imperfect as you may feel at times you are so much more than you realize. You are a total goofball, stupidly smart, annoyingly kind, intriguingly complex, genuinely handsome, and are beyond good enough. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for and deserve nothing less than spectacular.

4/20/22 03:00

She was the girl that had all the love in the world to give. He was the guy who couldn’t love her back, who couldn’t show how he really felt, who couldn’t give her the love that she deserved and it broke her. She would question why she wasn’t good enough. Why? No matter how much she gave, she never got it back, and instead of blaming him, she blamed herself. She stayed up countless nights wondering where things went wrong or what she could do differently to change them. When it came down to it and it wasn’t working anymore. He left and she was still broken. She thought maybe he was the only reason that she was ever happy, but the truth is he didn’t make her happy. It was the love that she was giving that made her happy. It was caring for someone and seeing someone else smile that made her happy and even though she didn’t feel that happiness herself, she was okay with that. He was happy and he was all that mattered to her.

02:19 4/20/22

I don’t remember the night we met much besides bits and pieces, but the next day I knew I was going to be in trouble. You were so real and reminded me so much of myself, my home, and I knew you were blind to it, so I did what I do best and ignore it and let other people be happy. Then you were suddenly him, my new go to, my best friend, a new piece of myself I found.

Life is blurry though, things happen we can’t control and I remember why I don’t cross these lines, it’s easier to push it down and make someone else happy. I want to be happy though, I know I deserve it, I just don’t think I’ll ever get it. So it’s time for me to stop trying and shut up and go back to the place we were, to keep looking elsewhere because you don’t want what’s right in front of you. I have to be content with where I am and trust where I’m going, you’re special and I know it, but life has other plans and that’s okay, i just need time.

4-19-22 01:24

Why is it the scariest thing you can do is be yourself? Because at the end of the day when you let down those walls and show someone all the good, bad, and grey in between they often leave. It’s one thing to have someone judge you and leave when your walls are up. But to show all of you unapologetically and not be enough? For love to turn into hate? There’s nothing more cruel than to feel as though you are the problem and being yourself is a crime. So it’s easier to hide. To be the wild child, the life of the party, the one who doesn’t care, because if they don’t like it then it’s easier to deal with knowing it’s not the real you.

4-18-22 1:05am

I am toxic to myself. I have this overwhelming desire to be loved, wanted, and needed. For someone to really see me and just want me. To be the first and only choice, not an option.

As much as I put on the show of the tough strong independent girl who doesn’t need anyone or anything. I am glass, it appears tough but one wrong move and I break easily the littlest things put cracks everywhere that can’t be fixed until I just shatter.

You scare me. You’re nice to me and I’ve never had anyone genuinely care and just be nice. The little things you do scare me to death but it’s like a drug I can’t get enough of. I only see myself getting hurt but I don’t want to stop, I want to let you break me. You make me feel things I didn’t think I could or would ever let anyone make me feel again. You tore down my defenses without me realizing it and I’m scrambling to rebuild them. You completely terrify me in a way that is addictive. You make me feel so comfortable in a way I never thought I could. I’m trying not to stumble and fall. Everything you do I find so intoxicating but one mistake may have killed everything before it even started. I can’t get it out of my mind, but I can’t get you out of it either. I don’t know what to do.

It was easier when we were friends, I knew where I stood, it was safe. Then you had to go and push my boundaries and give me a taste of what I’d wanted since I saw you. Then I caught myself falling slowly confused and unsure. It hit me then out of nowhere I liked you, then everyday it just got better and better. I was so hopeful and as soon as I said it out loud it all came crashing down. Now I’m hurt when I shouldn’t be, jealous when I have no right, confused because I thought I was good enough, angry because I let my guard down. We talked everything made more sense, I saw you on my birthday I didn’t know how to act. I put on my smile and best chill vibe and tried to be normal. I knew better than to cross the line I did, but I wanted it. I saw all the good and fell for it and now I’m back to square one as always. It’s hard not to take it personally when the same things keep happening.

Part of me wants to yell, scream, cry and just lay it all out there, but your not him. We aren’t anything, never were. We don’t have years of history, we don’t have anything to even give me the right to do that. All I can do is write it out on here to try and relieve some of the stress, because what good would any of it do? It doesn’t matter that I would do everything I could in the world to make you happy, it doesn’t matter that I’d always be there, it doesn’t matter that I’d help however I could, it doesn’t matter that I’d really genuinely care. None of it matters because I will still never be enough. It’s in my dna to never be enough for anyone and I’m scared that’s the fate I’m doomed to.

Late night thoughts 3/14/22 02:19