LIVE

I thought that having an eating disorder meant that you would lose weight. I am literally going insane over a plateaued weight.

#i want to cry #borderline personality disorder #i feel empty #i feel like shit #bpd weightloss #losing weight #losing hope

@ive-lost-myselfagain

Sat, 15 Aug 2020 01:36:40

I can’t remember the last time I felt this alone

I’m getting bad again. And unlike every other time, when I’ve sought out help,

This time I’m just letting it infest me.

I want to lose weight. No matter what. I want to feel numb, because I have been stuck in a rut of feeling too much for too long.

Getting lost in myself has never hurt so much.

#i want to cry #i feel empty #borderline personality disorder #i feel like shit #i feel so alone #i want to disappear #bpd problems #im sick of it #mental illness #i feel nothing #i feel everything #i feel numb #bpd vent #bpd weightloss #losing weight

@ive-lost-myselfagain

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 00:32:37

I don’t know

I don’t know if it was the fact that I moved away from the stress, or that I’m working out longer and harder, or that I’m eating so much less than I did before, but I made it guys.

Goal #1 has been reached. Collarbones are coming back and visible.

Just gotta keep going.

#i want to cry #i feel empty #borderline personality disorder #i feel like shit #i feel so alone #i want to disappear #bpd problems #im sick of it #mental illness #body goals #body dysmorphia

@ive-lost-myselfagain

Sat, 20 Jul 2019 01:03:29

I’m getting bad again…

It’s festival season, and where I am, it’s really hot. I’ve been working out a lot and I’ve lost weight but my thighs and butt have gotten bigger with muscle, but none of last years shorts fit anymore.

I tried buying some new ones today. And although I have been in such a good place about my body, I haven’t felt this low since high school. I haven’t eaten at all today, and I know I should eat but I can’t justify it.

I just can’t do this again.

#i want to cry #i feel empty #borderline personality disorder #i feel like shit #i feel so alone #i want to disappear #bpd problems #im sick of it #mental illness #eating disorder #crying #i feel nothing #i feel numb #i feel sick

@ive-lost-myselfagain

Fri, 28 Jun 2019 23:23:58

I feel like my life is burning.

Life punishes me every time I’m happy. I get hurt. People I love get hurt. And I can’t tell if it’s my fault anymore. I just want to be happy.

#i want to cry #i feel empty #borderline personality disorder #i feel like shit #i feel so alone #i want to disappear #bpd problems #im sick of it #mental illness #depressed #cant get out of bed #cant escape

@ive-lost-myselfagain

Fri, 17 May 2019 01:11:33

Opened myself up

Only to get heartbreak like every other time. I swear I never make the right choice.

#i want to cry #i feel empty #i feel like shit #i feel so alone #borderline personality disorder #i want to disappear #bpd problems #im sick of it #mental illness

@ive-lost-myselfagain

Tue, 30 Apr 2019 01:54:28

Wanna know something I always find stupidly ironic?

Every day, no matter what, I always ask my friends and family members if they had eaten.

“Hey hun, did you eat lunch yet?”

“Make sure you get somthing in you”

“Drink some water!”

“Oh honey you gotta have somthing, you’ve been working all day!”

“What’d you have? Oooo that sounds good!”

Yet not a single person. Not a single time. Did anyone ask me that in return. I know it’s stupid and self pitying as hell, but damn. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone asked.

If there’s one sure fire way I know I’m fat, it’s that no one ever has to make sure that I eat.

#anorexik #depression #anxiety #bulimina #bulimilk #skinny #thinspo #eatimg disorder #anorexic #bulimic #social anxiety #self harm #self healing #broken #i feel empty #mental health #mental illness #late night #insomnia

@x0xblue-angelx0x

Tue, 01 Dec 2020 04:34:35

don’t you just love it when the guy you like asks for your advice to ask his crush to prom and reassure him that she’ll say yes cause he’s just such a great guy.