#im fat af

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I never thought my eating disorder was real cause I was never severely emaciated. Yes I was underweight and yes I had a feeding tube at one point, but people would always make comments like “You are extremely skinny, but it doesnt look like you have an ed”. Now my brain is constantly like prove it to yourself and get THAT skinny. Then another part of my brain is like, that’s so stupid and will only make you more miserable. Anyone relate or am I just crazy lol?

icecubesforbreakfast:

I don’t want to be skinny. Well, I want to. But I want it so bad, it’s deeper than that. I want everyone to worry about me. People to think, that if they touch me, I’d break in a thousand pieces. I want them to think, that I’ll die if skip another meal. I want strangers to ask me if I’m anorexic. I wanna be disgusted by food. I want that everyone has to force me to eat. I want everyone I know to ask me if I have ate enough, and even if I’d answer „yes“ they knew Im lying. I want to look as fragile on the outside as i am already on the inside. I want people to care about me, trying to protect my, maybe I just want attention… yeah, maybe that’s it. I’m faking it for attention…

I just want people to worry

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