#poets corner
“Sometimes you don’t realize there is underlying trauma until it surfaces to the top, and you wonder where it’s been all along and why it resurfaced when you were getting better. But that’s when you realize that it’s a test that must be passed, a wave that must be surfed and a scar that must be filled. And once it’s all passed, you can begin to heal again. And you realize the beauty that you can always, always heal again, and again.”
- g.d (limitless)
“And I hope that the love you’re searching for feels like the first ray of sun hitting your face.”
- g.d (the sun)
“Why should I settle for mediocre when I know I’m worthy of exceptional.”
- g.d. (settling)
“And she looked at the moon and asked if this was how life was supposed to be. If it was supposed to be hard and tiring. The moon smiled at the young girl wistfully and sighed. She knew that everything was wrong and she couldn’t fix it except listen to her woes and show up for her almost everyday. She was let down by everyone and would be let down by her as well. But at least she’d see the little stars she’d leave behind to be there for her constantly. It wasn’t enough but she hoped she’d realize that those who cared would always stay or leave things about themselves behind to be remembered by. And that they were never truly gone. And for that moment she shone a little brighter and stayed a little longer to listen to her woes before she disappeared for another day.”
-g.d. (moon and stars)
“If you drown, allow yourself to feel the depth of the ocean. And then resurface when you know that’s the deepest you can ever go. And promise to never to go beyond that.”
- g.d (but it’s okay if you do)
“I want to love you between my sheets, baby. Shower you with kisses and leave marks where nobody can see them. I want to be the one that makes you see the stars and the moon. Be the one who knows what you like and how you like it. The one who knows what makes you smile like that.Be the one you seek out at night for more than just a hug. I want to be more and be forever. I want to be yours baby, forever and ever. I want to be the one you love between the sheets.”
- g.d (sheets)
“I hope to love with the same abundance I choose to read. Endlessly and wildly.”
- g.d
“and moments like today remind me that the monsters continue to live inside my head, even if they’ve been silent for too long.”
- g.d (it’s never ending)
“I told him I was too me to be a part of his world. He smiled and caressed my cheek, his lips hovering over mine as he whispered, “and that’s why I love you so much baby, you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of.””
- g.d (love me for me)
“And this is to my mom. Ma, you deserve the world that you dreamed of giving me. You deserve the love you’ve showered me with and times infinity. You deserve everything you were robbed off, you deserve the stars and moons that you were told that you were not worthy of. Ma, you deserve everything the world did not give you. You deserve the world and I am sorry if I or the world ever made you that you deserved less than that. Everything that I am right now and everything I will be is because you were there every step of the way. And today I want to say you are worthy of so much and I am sorry if you ever thought you weren’t. You deserve everything and I will try my best to make sure you know that. And all the ‘I love you’ will fall short in comparison to everything you’ve done but I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
g.d. (ma)
My whims are nothing more
Than passing fancies
My thoughts no more than a sprout
…
My dreams are nothing more
Than strange realities
My melancholy no more than an out.
-s.r.f (if we were poets)
The mountains fallen with sleepy purple
And over the garden wall.
A giant’s castle in the clouds,
The blackberry scent of fall.
Softly bleed, and close your eyes,
Night tapping on the panes.
The glowy aura of the moon,
And the homely sound of rain.
-s.r.f
The night falls,
and the world is nothing but a room.
Light strays into the darkness
and gets lost.
I know what it’s like to go missing, too.
Some people arrive, like guests,
and stay longer than welcome.
Without a hint of grievance,
they leave, taking with them a part of you.
They leave behind their scent
in the places they’ve inhabited.
You realize you can’t live without them,
and their absence makes you want to die.
You taste like a lover I haven’t forgotten.
Your kiss sweet, yet not at all cloying.
The lingering traces of your lips left the faintest of scents,
only a whisper that fills my nose for a moment
before evaporating into nothing.
You’re taller than me, and my head rests in the crook of your neck
like a flower in a book,
and butterflies make my stomach their home.
I’m weightless for a moment, my feet supported by nothing at all.
I want to bury every moment with you in a diary,
but my fingers fumble as they try to keep up, and I’m left staring at an empty page.
I want to hold onto you and never let you go, but you’ve already flown far away.
You were once so close to me, and now, like so much else, you’re forever out of reach.
Leaving was a small thing,
a settling of the dust.
The single most abstract thing
I had ever done.
In that abstraction, I yearned for freedom.
But now I see that freedom
just means the ability to go anywhere
and still know that I’m loved.
I can’t taste the salt of my tears,
but I acknowledge them as my own.
Like I don’t need to see the moon
to know it’s full,
or to know that there’s a spoonful of light
sifting through the clouds over the bay.
I can tell from the heaviness of my eyes
that it’s time for bed.
I look out the window in my bedroom and stare above.
I try to imagine what it must be like to be a cloud,
dense as wool and shaped like cotton candy,
slipping between the stars.
What I wouldn’t give to be just another patch of darkness,
to fade into the sky.
But I can feel my body impounding me,
dragging me back to bed,
where I’ll sleep alone and wake up alone, too.
The sky changes colors like mood rings, each one
a testament to the pain of being seventeen.
Not a single tear,
but a continuous flow that runs down my face.
I catch it on my tongue,
and swallow it.
Without warning, the tide rolls in
and, for once, I don’t run for high ground.
I let the waves of sadness drown me,
and pull me under until I can’t breathe.
Until all I can feel is the cold of the world in its final moments,
and all I can see are my own dead eyes staring back at me.
And still, they’re beautiful.
The light blue irises in the murky depths of my own opaqueness.
The long eyelashes
that brush against my cheeks,
as I sink deeper into the sea.
The way the saltwater numbs
my lips, my face, and then my limbs.
Until I’m only waves,
and I become an extension of this world
that wants me to be something else.
The boy in the old photograph
Is not the boy in the old photograph
I see you growing up
from the inside out
I see your beauty collide with your demons
and I’ll always wonder what it felt like
your body crashing against the pavement
with poison in your veins, leaving lost hope
scattered all over the sidewalk
a part of your past
holds you
under
and you’re so exhausted
you don’t even know how to move
you just sit there and stare, your mouth open
you think this is the most exhilarating feeling
and it’s not
it’s not
