#litany
you want to know one of the things that pisses me off most about dune? it’s not a valid complaint or problematic or anything. it’s that the litany against fear works and I hate it.
I used to recite the Desiderata in my head when I was a kid at my mom’s insistence but it’s so fucking long and full of compound sentences and the stupid fucking litany just… works better lol. Stop asking me questions during blood donation I’m busy mentally humiliating myself by being a fucking insufferable nerd.
For those who, like me, are unfamiliar with the litany, from the Dune wiki:
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
Denying yourself a functional mental coping technique, for reasons such as cringe in the privacy of your own mind, is an act of self harm.
but letting Frank Herbert give me mental coping mechanism is an indignity I resent
I too have used this for many years and i have never read dune and know nothing about it
Love
If not to hold yours
What are hands for?
If not to look into yours
What are eyes for?
If not to kiss yours
What are mouths for?
If not to feel for yours
What are hearts for?
- nail-in-the-wall (16.5.2022)
- The life and death of a match
I gave you the match
To build yourself a fire
You lit me up with the flame
Rubbed two dry sticks in the rain
Magnified paper in the sunlight
Put coal on a lit fireplace
Hit wires in the right way
And burned me to ash and grey
I never saw it coming
The light-hearted jokes
The candlelit dinners
The bonfire nights outside
The campfires in wintertime
The warmth in your house
The keys in the ignition
For a moments we felt so inflamed
That we set wildfires in each other
That couldn’t be smothered away
It didn’t set me ablaze enough to know
That fires destroy as well as create
And sometimes they die out
Because they were extinguished
Not because they naturally died away
You enlighten me to the change
By dousing my flame away
- by nail-in-the-wall (6.1.22)
THE FINAL CURTAIN
You turned my summer into winter
I needed a sweater just to feel better
But it was you, not the weather
I was always so warm
But then you made me cold
By pulling me away from the fireplace
Just so I was lost in you like a haze
I was always so bright
But you dimmed down the light
By blowing every candle in me out
Just like little seeds of doubt
I could really have done without
I was always inside all of the time
Locked away from everyone else you knew
Never treated the same as they were too
When you were mine I always had to hide
Because I never did anything that you liked
You loved to love me only when we could hide
Only when you were the only thing on our minds
Because you only loved the way I loved you
You didnt love loving me because I was lovely
You just loved the love you were getting out of me
Because I was never worth the limelight,
The crowd, the standing ovation or the smiles
You never thought I was worthy of your time
I don’t know why I even bothered sometimes
Because I was never the highlight,
The star of the show or invited to the afterparty
I was just the pillow fort that fell to the floor
I was just the hinge that only joined half the door
I was just the sand castle that never lasted the storm
I think its time for the final curtain, the last act,
Because this dress rehearsal just isn’t working
- by nail-in-the-wall (7.12.21) This is part of a two part series about dramatic irony. It was influenced by a situation that I never saw coming or knew could change. Part 2 will be posted sometime soon.
PIECES OF ME
Pieces of me
Fall to the floor
Like the petals on
Forget me nots
Like raindrops
From the clouds
Like words from
Your stupid mouth
You don’t like it
So I lose a piece
Just to fit into
Your ideal version of me
You don’t like that
So I lose a piece
I let it down gently
Like I’m putting it to sleep
You don’t like this
So I lose a piece
Just to exist
In the place you want me in
But what is existing
When you are
Losing yourself
Losing your mind
Losing the love of your life
Like you never
Mattered to begin with
And all you existed for was
Everything that suited him
- nailinthewall (4.12.21)
- You
It’s not love
But it should be
Because only a world
Where you are in love with me
Is a world I want to see
As loving you is easy
And I like the simplicity
Of you with me
- nail-in-the-wall (30.5.21 - I will be posting on here again! Enjoy!)
Unattended
Dont want nobody else
If I ain’t got you
Its not worth it to pursue
Its means nothing if I’m without you
Letting you get the best of me
Is all I’ll ever want or need
I’m dying for your attention
So please dont leave me unattended
- nail-in-the-wall [23.2.21] (I wrote this about this forgetful guy I like who I like to refer to as a fish. Enjoy!)
“I wish only the best for you in every single thing you do.”
- nail-in-the-wall [16.10.19] (Written about my favourite human and lovely friend ebbs. He has released a song called Breathe, under the artist name Seb, on all the usual streaming places! Please have a listen!)
“Pull me away from my thoughts and this place. I’d be stuck without the thought of your face. Dont let time slip away, we only have today.”
- nail-in-the-wall [15.10.19] (This was written to appreciate how friendship takes you out of bad moments and how just the thought of a friend can soothe you and how the time I feel best is around mine. Its the chorus of a song I wrote about Ebbs - my favourite human - around a year ago. Speaking of songs, lol I’m so bad at this, Seb - ebbs is my nickname for him - has released a song called Breathe and its amazing! Please have a listen! Its amazing! I love it!
“You clouded my mind and I became plagued by the rain that had taken my sanity’s place.”
- nail-in-the-wall [13.10.19] (Whenever I meet a new person, my mind gets clouded by emotion and I forget who I am. Anyone else have the habit of doing this?)
Between Breathes
Late, late at night
Like a bird, I was taking on flight
Dark, darkness in the sky
A light, a life, had joined my eyes
Music moved me
Like silk on a sleeve
Like blossom from a tree
Like someone who loved me
I-I-I found something new
Something worth writing too
Something that sounded like you
Day, daylight makes my night
Worth joining into the fight
The sound, the signs of being alright
Taste better than sweet
Sweeter than honey
More valuable than any currency
The taste of my mind
Slips from my tongue
Like the sounds of love
And touches everyone
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [12.10.19] (I was watching one of those cool harmony videos on YouTube and remembered an old writing technique I used to love using. Its amazing! And I used it to write this.)
“I wonder what has become of me when words evade me. Who am I without these morsels of poetry that I speak?”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [10.10.19] (Just a quick bit of advice. If you find yourself in a spell of writers block, then I’d suggest writing about how something made you feel. Could be anything in the entire world. Writers block happens when you pressure yourself to the point where your mind shuts down in an attempt to get you to stop pressuring yourself. It helps you to stop overthinking and is actually really beneficial to you in the long run. Writing about how you feel literally allows you to step out of your mind and further helps you to get rid of the stress you’ve put yourself under. If you have writers block, do NOT stop writing. That’s the worst thing you can do. It’ll make it harder to get back into. Write about how your favourite song, animal, poem, tv show, or anything at all. Just write about something that makes you feel.)
“I love talking to you. You mean the world to me.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [9.10.19] (This is directed at all my friends cos they’re all amazing in their own way and really good to me. I hope the universe gives them all they want to receive from life and that they are all having a good day!)
Under Concrete
Under concrete
Swimming to the edge
Air is being tugged from my head
And my breaths are in unrest
Hands are gripping lead
Eyes are closed, too burdened to open
Mouth is squeezing out letters
That will never be heard
Just a string of still verbs
Still stuck under concrete
Nothing can save me
Drying around me
And I’m dying to breathe easy
But I am entombed
Wrapped up in a womb
Of a life I didnt choose
I wish I knew how I got here
But all the thoughts
Have disappeared
Under concrete
I am doomed
Cos here I’m forever tombed
Might as well be the moon
Cos in the dark I rest
And in the light
I am forced to evaporate
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [8.10.19] (Have felt suffocated and emotionally drained so wrote this.)
“You are the only memory I wish I didnt have.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [5.10.19] (This is about the guy that made me upset enough to write Phoenix In Embers. I posted it a while ago. Its really positive and probably will help some of you guys so have a read. Anyway, I thought about him today and this quote was made.)
Blue
We were red like rose’s
Fire burning from both of us
Your heart held me
But then I cut you away
With a guillotine
I am guilty of destroying
Everyone around me
But hurting you
Didnt hurt you as much
As it hurt me
I burned thee
Like he didnt matter
But you matter
You always have
And I cant live a lie
Pretending that I
Didnt turn our flame blue
And destroyed
Me and you
And I never knew
That I loved you
Before I lost you
To the colour blue
I never knew
How much it’d hurt me
To hurt you
I never knew
How much I hate my life
Without you by my side
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [4.10.19] (Havent posted in a few days cos I hit my head and have wanted to rest.)
“Fire pours out of me and I speak in ashey fumes and destroy everything before me just to breathe easy.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [1.10.19] (I prefer writing poetry over writing quotes, so I’m probably gonna post more poetry and fewer quotes cos its difficult to confine a poets thoughts into quote form and I dont like restricting myself.)
Two weeks
After a fortnight
You come back into my life
My eyes are mesmerized by the sight
You are my favourite pastime
Looking at you makes me feel more than alright
Being near you makes me feel better than okay
And I think that it’s due time
You cemented yourself at my side
It’s only you that I
Want to see every day
In every shade of colour
In every space
That is vacant beside me
You should reside with me
Cos you’re meant to be in my life
Forever, not after a fortnight
That’s not enough time
Dont deny me of a face I want to see
Cos I’m meant to see you
Every second of every day
Not when I’m driven beyond the point of insane
Cos you haven’t stepped foot into my space
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [29.9.19] (I only see the guy I have a crush on after a fortnight cos hes not at work. :( Anyway, this is me putting an idea into the universe and hoping he receives the message cos I’m too nervous to talk to him myself.)
“The people that support and love you in everything you do deserve all the best things the world has to offer and more.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [28.9.19] (My best friend is one of these people. I hope hes having a good day. Today. Tomorrow. Always.)
The earth poem
Breathing is hard
When people suffocate you
Living is difficult
When people try to medicate you
Staying awake is so tiring
When society has sedated you
It’s the time of our lives
But we cant stand to be alive
Cos we know what is happening outside
And we can see through the fog
They have clouded in our eyes
We can see through the masks
They forced us to live behind
We can see the torture
Of being alive
In a time where everything has to die
For it to have a chance to be a worthy of life
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [27.9.19] (Today is the last day to protest for climate change and this seemed appropriate.)
“Every rose is met by thorns. But every rose is first born into a garden filled with other flowers.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [26.9.19] (Dont know if you guys will like this quote. But I wanted to write a quick quote about life being beautiful, in spite of bad moments. And people being good, in spite of a few bad seeds.)
My sweet love
My sweet love if you die tonight
I’ll wait on the other side
And pull you out of the abyss of death
My sweet love if you cry tonight
I’ll be on your other side
And pull you out of the depth of hell
My sweet love if you cant bear to smile
I’ll be right by your side
And pull you out the pit of despair
My sweet love if you’re not by my side
I’ll hold pictures of you to my chest
And hold them till the day I’m dead
My sweet love if you can’t love yourself
I’ll tell you all the words I’ve ever felt
And hold you until you feel them as well
My sweet love if you need someone
I’ll be right there when I can
And your head will alway have a space on my chest
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [25.9.19] (The first 3 lines are not written by me but have inspired this song. So it’s kinda cute where they’re from. So at the beginning of the Alvin and The Chipmunks first movie, the main guy is showing his original song to someone from a record label and we only hear a few lines. These are those lines. The 2008 emo child in me loved those words and I have caught myself singing those lines for the past 11 years since. So I thought, why don’t I write a poem/song? And this is it! The two halves are different cos I wrote in May 2019 and the other now. Enjoy!)
Maybe its you
Maybe it’s your eyes
They’re like the ocean
I am swimming in the tides
The waves move far and wide
You capture me
But I picture us in movie scenes
Maybe its the way you walk
The way you get to a destination
Before the world
Has an idea of where you’re going
The way you look straight ahead
Like you’re walking
Toward the love of your life
And all you see is her in your sights
Maybe it’s your smile
The dimples on both sides
The way you shine
Like the sun in the morning sky
The way it stays with me until the evening time
Maybe it’s the way it felt
When your hand touched me
And I thought of nothing else
The way the world went away
When I saw the sight of your face
When I felt your hand hold me
Maybe it’s not all these things
Maybe its everything
About you that I like
Maybe its you
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [24.9.19] (I really like this guy, we’ll call him AP from now on. I’ve known him near enough 2 years and liked him from the first minute. God knows if he likes me back. But whatever. If he doesnt. Who cares! I like me enough for the both of us!)
“Theres nothing better than hearing the voice of someone you love.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [22.9.19] (So genuinely happy that ebbs is a musician cos he lives a 100 miles away from me so I wouldnt ever hear his voice otherwise. I’d feel like my best friend was a book character and have to make up a non-descript voice for him which would be weird. Makes me so happy that I can hear my favourite person/best friends voice on demand.)
The map that leads to you
I keep walking past the same places
Thinking of you
In shapes that are in map form
It’s like deja vu
But we’ve never been here before
Not in this view
I feel like I am going in circles
Trying not to think of you
But I am in the same place
That I was a year ago
And I can deny it all I want
But you’ll always be my favourite haunt
And none of these paths
I’ve been walking along
Are nearly as beautiful as I find you
From dusk until dawn
I wish I could find you
I wish I could read your mind too
Cos I cant live split in two
Pretending that I don’t know you
When I already do
Cos just like a map
My mind has been shaped by lines
And I have been twisting
Everything that I could find
Everything I knew to be true
Just to fit into the shape
My heart wanted my mind to
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [21.9.19] (This poem is about overthinking and how it can ruin relationships. Most of the time my judgement is right. But when i overthink every interaction or missed interaction, that is when it can go wrong. That is what I was doing today, so I wrote this as a reminder.)
“When you meet someone, time splits into two. A before and an after you.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [20.9.19] (I cant contemplate the life I had before I met my best friend Ebbs. I will always love and support him. Today. Tomorrow. Always. At this very moment, that is through his career. So guys, please listen to Carolina Blue by Seb! Its beautiful. Just like him!)
“There are no words, not even in the mind of a writer, to describe you. You are that indescribable. But here I am, writing about you again.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [18.9.19] (This is about Seb - my best friend. He has a single out. Its called Carolina Blue and is on all the usual streaming places. Please check it out! You wont be disappointed! Hes amazing! Musically and generally!)
“Music is poetry wrapped in sound. It is so simplistic and so profound.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [16/9/19] (My best mate/favourite human being Seb released his second single today. Ya should check it out!)
“Sometimes I am so happy it pours out of me.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [15/9/9] (I am so excited to hear Ebbs song today. I’m going to love it and he’s probably gonna explode from all the nice things I’ll write to him about it.)
Lost in this moment
I felt someone
Touch my heart
But I’m not good with faces
I wouldnt know who you are
I’ve seen a hundred people a day
For the last year
So I’ll lose my mind
Trying to figure out
Where I know you from
And I’m not good with direction
Hand me a map
And I’ll lose myself
With no recollection
Of where I’ve been
I’m lost in myself
Stuck in my head
How could I love someone else
When my heart is broken
I am lost
And I dont know where you’ve gone
But I’ll miss you today
And I’ll miss you till dawn
Wherever have you gone
I’ve never felt as alone
As when I’ve found someone to love
I never buy ornaments
I’m not one for gold
And I’m not one to buy diamonds
But I added you to my collection
Of things I dont mind remembering
And I’ll never forget the end
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [14/9/19] (Just a thing I wrote whilst listening to a sad song.)
“Sometimes I think back on the time I knew you and I miss the person you were and the moments we shared.”
- nail-in-the-wall ~ © ~ [13/9/19] (I seriously miss some of the people I used to know. Makes me sad sometimes.)
Greetings, dear readers…if there are any of you left out there. :) I know I haven’t posted in a long time, but that is only because I haven’t felt moved by the Spirit to do so. Until this morning, when after praying the litany of humility, I started begging (as usual) for the other virtue I most lack: patience. It occurred to me that I ought to make a litany of patience that I could pray each day. I share it with you now in hopes that it will bless you and aid you in your own prayer.
Litany of Patience
From the desire to control my life,
R: Deliver me, O Jesus.
From rash judgment and haste…
From impulsive decision making…
From the desire to act when I need to be still…
From the desire to speak when I need to stay silent…
From the delusion that my own ideas and plans are what would be best…
From impatience with the sins and idiosyncrasies of others…
From impatience with my own sins and slow growth in virtue…
From impatience with Your plan for my life…
From the desire to live on my own timeline…
From the fear of running out of time…
From the fear of aging and death…
From the temptation to act out of sorrow, discouragement, anxiety, or fear…
Lord, teach me to trust your love so entirely:
That I may wait upon your Word before making important decisions.
That I may not get ahead of or behind your Spirit.
That I may maintain an eternal perspective in all that I do.
That I may accept and surrender to your will for me daily.
That I may truly believe that ALL things work for the good of those who love you.
That I may radiate to others Your peace and joy which surpass all understanding.
Amen.
