#ventcore
trauma ticking bomb and the detonator froze
I don’t usually share my art, but this piece means a lot to me and I wanted to share it with you all.
I wrote this poem during a very dark time in my life. I’m not out of it yet, but I’m slowly getting there. I do a lot of work like this, which I share over at my venting blog. If you’d like to see it, please do so with caution! My vent blog has a standing trigger warning for all posts. (Blog: @traumacope)
Lyrics from 6.18.18 by Billie Eilish
(It’s October and I’m still hurting)
10/21/20
10/20/20. Quote credit to twitter user @/drill.
According to you, nobody has ever loved me.
If abuse isn’t love, then what do I have left?
I’M THE KIND OF THING YOU THROW ROCKS AT
NOT THE KIND OF THING YOU LOVE
MY BLOOD IS ON MY OWN HANDS
WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW
just tell me what you want and i’ll be it!!
I was just your dog
You pulled my teeth
I can’t even biteanymore
Can’tdefendmyself
࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧
It’s like a bad trip and it doesn’t stop
࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧࿐୨୧
I feel like I’ll never find my way…
Went back to the church that was abandoned so I took a few more pictures of it
yeah…
hehehehe
i forgot to post this. i found a journal of mine filled with vent notes
I wish I could feel things normally again. I be needing shows or books to feel something and it’s just sad. That shouldn’t be the case at all. Whenever I do feel something tho I can never tell if it’s genuine or if I’m faking that emotion and ultimately just end up dwelling over it with no answers whatsoever.
Guess who’s being put into sports w/o getting asked for consent :-P
Can someone hurt me real badly already waiting for everything to fall apart is getting rlly annoying now.
Does the world have sum against me cuz being on the internet and playing games r literally my only escape from my own thoughts rn who let the internet speed be so fcking slow too like you want me to kms or sum
The world just can’t let me have stability huh. I like literally love that for me :)
I hope one day I can silently just disappear out of people’s lives. At this point all I’m able to do is sabotage myself and drag people down with me. Time is just gonna pass by and I’ll just keep falling behind on everything. I can’t keep up anymore
Being hypersexual feels so disgusting. I want nothing to do with my own thoughts and I keep convincing myself they’re just intrusive thoughts but what if this whole time it’s just me?
Being a girl suckkss!! Imagine waiting for a reply without even sending a message? Violence.
art journal // 091420
maybe it’s time that i let myself settle in the truth that i like validation
guys, girls, neither genders fuck im just a fucking whore i think lol
guess im too deep in the rabbit hole i fell down in
fuck you.