#ana ed
Ugh I love the feeling when my stomach burns and hurts after not eating for a few days <333
So… im relapsing.
Back to what worked
Fasting and trying my best not to purge.
I do not know my current weight but it’s not horrible.
I have like a second wind. It feels like I’m gonna enter the honeymoon phase of a relapse.
My metabolism is probably boosted which I’m excited about.
If it is I’m going to integrate metabolism days into this relapse.
Im gonna be a bit more active on here now.
Also it was nice to see that once I’m ready I can just eat again and I won’t gain like crazy.
having a relapse with Mia and ending up 7lb heavier than when you started? Fuck my life. Downloading this fastic fasting app, the long restriction begins, meaning I stocked up on monster, gum and disposable vapes. Can I learn my entire course in the next 2 months while literally starving?
It’s funny for me it’s the opposite.
I’ll go from like strictly mia b/p and fasting type beat to restriction. When I restrict I gain weight.
I actually made this mistake for three days in a row and now I’m relapsing back to mia lmao.
Yesterday, I ate two turkey wraps and cheese and crackers with grapes. I bought them from my school cafeteria so I do not know the calories.
I did not purge.
I will not be updating my weight today.
(It’s 106.4. I’m scared. Irrationally so. But still. I didn’t sleep at all and that’s crucial for digestion. I also never fucking eat. So like. It’s not fat. It’s food.)
I will not be eating without purging today (I hope to liquid fast but who knows).
This isn’t recovery. This isn’t restriction. It’s sort of like a metabolism day? Except usually people restrict their calories every other day… I just puke or liquid fast. I’m hoping to incorporate a few of these days a month. Idk. I want my body to remember how to digest food and my chronic pain is returning and if I don’t give my body SOMETHING to work with it’ll only get worse and I don’t want that.
Also Food taste so much better when you plan on keeping it down. God it’s like my tastebuds knew I wasn’t teasing them.
Also i had a Voice lesson after I ate some food. Best voice lesson I’ve had in two years. Holy shit does having a full stomach like support your diaphragm or something? My voice was so strong. I actually enjoyed singing again. Not to mention it was purge free day up to that point so ya know… clear throat… clear tone.
I didn’t sleep again but I did liquid fast and now I’m 105.6
Also my throat as been KILLING me for some reason? Literally I don’t purge for two days and I’m in agony?!! Shouldn’t it be the opposite?
It encourages me to keep liquid fasting I guess but it’s fucking annoying.
The bullimic urge to blow your leftovers out of your nose before class.
It’s so fowl.
How do people restrict and b/p?
Like if I could combine the two forces and lose weight I would.
It would straight up be harm reduction because I b/p almost every day. I never eat and keep it down cause I gain weight. I need guidanceeeeeee
Never do that. Don’t coach and don’t accept coaching. It’s so dangerous for your safety and so fucked up to your mind.
(And it doesn’t work)
Repost, 3d harm reduction