#ana relapse
Water fasting: Day 8
Today’s thought: I can’t sleep because I’m so anxious at the moment for tomorrow’s family lunch out and i dunno what to do.
And yes, even though my mum bought me some sugar-free wheat bread I would still prefer “Plain *Ice cold* black coffee (Sugar-free)” because I trust what I see than what is labeled from the grocery. Yea I don’t trust food just like guys.
Mum gave me this… I don’t feel safe eating bread again this is not one of my *safe* food…
This is a shirt when I was still at the larger size.. Now it is hanging and doesn’t embrace my body anymore the hang gave me a glance at my old self, it looks huge on me.. But a little bit of cringe because I still blame myself on indulging on food before made me realize how fat I was before.. Now I’m far from my starting weight.
Saw this on my screenshot.. God! This is how worst I am, even nuggets terrifies me a lot.. I was a the point on purging after that.. But end up jogging for 2 hours.
Just got home after I was admitted to a unit…
Damn.. I gained 5kg.
How hard does it for someone to understand that ED is not just plain and simple as * GO… EAT!“ I will solemnly agree if you can heal a cancer patient with one session of chemotherapy!! This is so annoying! I’m so tired of this explanation cycle! God d*mn it!!
My anxiety level is so high at the moment, my mum cooked some fried rice and egg with tomatoes. I gave her the illusion that I will finish my food.. THEN… My ED be like: “ NEVER AGAIN… YOU’LL NEVER GAIN AGAIN… GOT THAT?
1000 jumps done, it’s been 2 weeks since I started this and still water fasting, this is a little bit exhausting because my vision is kinda funny. I also knotted both sides to add more weights on the rope.. This is a weighted jumping rope to begin with its just I want to spice a little bit on the jumping rope game so I knotted both sides and it heavier now. Overall its still worth it because there’s a lot of progress..
No one:
My vision whenever I try to get up:
This is the tricky part of water fasting, when you need to pee then suddenly your vision is messing up with you.
Do it for the..
- “You got skinny!”
- “Wow I can fit my hand all the way around your wrist”
- Jealous stares
- Size XXS and 00
- “You can sit on my lap since you’re obviously the lightest”
- Beautiful in anything
- “You’re so light!”
- “I’ll give you a piggyback ride”
- Confidence in dressing rooms
- Bikini body
- Dainty wrists
- Hip bones
- Collarbones that dip for days
- Slender legs
- Thigh gaps
- “You look like a model!”
- “How did you do it?”
- ability to feel confident in your own skin
guess what!!! pro tip!!! its a lie!!!! :)))))
i has lost 1.6kg woo for some reason i cant update my cw *sigh*
throw back to that time in grade 9 in physics class our teacher wanted to do an experiment where everyone in the class had to weigh themselves infront of everyone and i was determined as hell to leave so i faked a back injury and convinced the nurse to let me stay in the sick bay for the rest of the day
in my brain I think of ed tumblr as one big apartment building and we all just pass each other in the elevator like heyhow’s the suffering going,, not bad, you? and people keep getting evicted or moving out but eventually end up back here cause who tf can afford to live anywhere else
FACTS OMG
questions for the ED community
1) does anyone in your family know about your disorder?
2) have you ever been for outpatient therapy?
3)have you ever been for inpatient therapy?
4)how long have you had your ed for?
5)do you consider your ED something of a friend?
6) what does it feel like to actually be at your gw
7)if you could be anything in the world other than “skinny” what would it be? (childhood dreams etc)
8) does anyone else in your family have eds?
9)have you hit rock bottom of your ed, if so why was it your rock bottom?
10)how has your eds effected your relationships?
11)what have you had to give up for your ed?
me when my brother always seems to come into my room when im in the middle of a binge surrounded by bowls of mug cake and chocolate wrappers :’)
ED tags are wild its like anorquexia lmao
diet cherry coke has my heart
