Swimsuit

I was excited to buy a new swimsuit.

I chose a very cute one, peach colored, bare back, one piece. I haven’t used one in two years.

But when I tried it on, body dysmorphia knocked on the door: knock knock, you look deformed!

I notice every lump, every shape, every imperfection and they horrify me.

At that moment I saw a tear come out of my eyes. I took it off immediately. I told the saleswoman that it didn’t fit and almost ran out of the store.

When will I be able to try on clothes without feeling bad?

My mom bought cookies

I don’t know how to stop thinking about eating them.

I know that when I taste a single cookie, I’ll end up eating all of them.

I don’t want to binge.

What should I do?

Ribs

I wanted this so badly, every bite less, every second of exercise made me feel good.

I wanted them to see my ribs and that they thought it was easy for me to be thin, that everyone would stare at me and smile at me because I was pretty.

But when they look at my ribs, they feel terrified, they beg me to eat, I made my siblings cry, they thought I was going to die.

This isn´t the kind of care I expected.

I’m pretty, I’m depressed

5 things that nobody tells you about ed

1. At first everyone encouraged your weight loss, now they look horrified as you weigh even grapes.
2. You know you’re destroying your body and you feel good about it?
3. You’re never in control, it’s food what controls you.
4. What’s the point of looking good if you don’t even have the energy to get up because you’ve only eaten half an apple?
5. You never get to feel happy because a small part of you knows that you’re wrong. The scale will say what it wants, but your mind will never agree.

I know having an ed isn’t something to be proud of.

Too much of everything becomes unhealthy, it includes stop eating.

Staysafe♡

idkimhurt:

Repost, 3d harm reduction

Update

Hey guys little update

I’ve lost 4 kg (8.8 lb) in the last weeks, however, I have some reflux problems (yes, ana worsened the situation in my esophagus), so I’m taking medication and trying to eat a healthier diet.

It’s nothing serious, I just take anti-reflux medication.

I have been denying recovery and cheating for some time to continue losing weight despite my recovery treatment, but I’ve made it a point to take it seriously as a goal for this year.

The advice comes here:

Journeys have ups and downs, if it is necessary to break some rules to be better with your health, do it. You deserve to eat. I know that recovery is not easy and remember that no one should force you to do it because it won’t work until you do it out of conviction.

Staysafe♡

Hey, new diet!

Lately I’ve been having trouble following diets like the ABC (because the more I restrict, the more I binge) or the healthy girl (because over 1000 cals is too much for me), so I created ✨the album diet✨.

Basically I don´t like taking the typical body check photos, it causes me very bad dysmorphia but at the same time it’s motivating to do something that tracks my progress on those diets.

I made it based on the past times I´ve restricted and been able to lose and maintain my weight.

I have lost up to 2 kg (4.4 lbs) per week without negative physical symptoms such as headaches, dizziness or fainting.

Ed’s voicevs. What comes out of my mouth

“Don’t eat, you look like a cow”: I’m not hungry, thank you.

“You look disgusting when you eat”: I’m done, I just ate before I came.

“All that plate for you alone? You will never be skinny”: can you serve me a little less?

“You ate too much, tomorrow you will gain at least 1 kg”: I vomited because my stomach hurts, just that.

“You don’t look fat, you look deformed”: I don’t want to go shopping, I just don’t need new clothes.

“You’re fat because you don’t know how to control yourself, you disgust me”: I don’t want a cookie, I just don’t like them.

And sometimes the only way to shut up Ed’s voice is doing what they want.

Staysafe♡

Why laxatives don’t work

(Science based)

What is a laxative?

• They’re drugs that are used to PREVENT constipation or PREPARE the intestine for radiological or endoscopic procedures.
• This means, they’re NOT DESIGNED FOR LOSING WEIGHT.

How does a laxative work?

• They accelerate the movement of stool through the gastrointestinal tract by various mechanisms as:
• Increase the volume of stool with fiber (natural fiber, amaranth, wheat) or with water that is extracted from the intestinal wall into the stool (saline, the most used).
• Byirritating the intestine to stimulate evacuation (oils such as castor or glycerine).

So, Why don’t laxatives make me lose weight?

• Because they basically make you poopnotburnfat. You will only lose water and irritate your intestine wall (which can be painful). You’ll continue to be hungry and feeling shit when you rehydrate and regain that weight of water that you lost.

What can happen to me if I abuse its consumption?

• Dehydration (dizziness, fainting, nausea, headache)
• Sodium or potassium electrolyteproblems (can cause heart or muscle problems or cause irritability).
• Abdominal swelling (to the point of looking pregnant), intestinal pain, straining or tenesmus.
• Diarrhea, appendicitis or intestinal obstruction.

SO PLEASE, DON´T USE IT UNLESS YOU ARE CONSTIPATED ‘CAUSE THEY´RE NOT CANDIES OR MAGICAL PILLS, THEY´RE MEDICINES.

Staysafe♡