Tell me you love me

I'ma die slow sweetie I ain’t never had a meanin just another fuckin’ junkie drain my blood but don’t be greedy leave some liquid for the centipedes they eat away my memory

I can’t listen to shitty breakup songs about you leaving me, because I am the one who left. You drove me to the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore. And that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore, it just means that I lost myself in the process of loving you.

Every night I try to remember the time we were happy together. How we stared into each others eyes and couldn’t believe this love between us would ever fade. But now I’m alone with a hole in my chest. Your love for me did fade, but my love for you never did. So here I am, feeling incomplete, while you move on with your life without me. 

My heart hurts and my eyes are sore from crying. And it hurts even more knowing you don’t care at all. It’s been a few months and you seem to be happier than ever, without me. What does that say about me?

I want to get over you but at the same time I don’t. I don’t want to be over the memories we shared. I don’t want to forget the feeling I got when you looked at me with your bright eyes. I don’t want you to turn into a stranger again.

I’ve always wanted to see more of the world. You took my hand and showed me new places and took me on adventures. I went out of my comfort zone, but I always had you beside me to hold my hand. I will always be thankful for that, because I will never forget our adventures together.

They say we accept the love we think we deserve. Perhaps that’s the reason why I end up with a broken heart. Because maybe that’s what I think I deserve.

The two months without us talking felt like a century but I’m still right there where you left me. I’m still very much in love with you and I can’t picture my future without you. What am I to do now?

IT HAS NEVER BEEN EASY

“It has never been easy”

Telling to yourself your own love story.

“It has never been easy”

To see how, slowly, you destroyed your self.

Watching how everyone else did it too.

Feeling the pain of words stabbing their hearts.

It has never been easy: washing your hands off.

Avoiding "offensive” expressions I guess,

ignoring word-laden feelings.

“It’s never easy” you tell to yourself

again and again.

While you know that you’re sinking

a little bit more each time.

“It’s never easy” you reflect.

To smell the stink of defeat

without haven’t even aspired to victory.

To skip the people you’ve never cared about.

Go unnoticed through their minds.

“It’s easy” you say.

Send it all to hell

Throw all the shit away .

Knowing that their words make you stronger

while your smile weakens them.

Translation of the poem: “Nunca ha sido fácil”

You used to be my first thought when I woke up.

The first name on my head to go with me anywhere.

The first face in my mind any time I read or saw something beautiful.

Now you’re just a painful memory I wish I could forget.

go to sleep. he isn’t thinking of u & that’s his loss. don’t lose sleep over someone that’s dreaming of someone else.

sometimes i wonder if you’re missing me too, even though you claim to be in love with her.

Heaven only knows when I’m in hell.

I’ve always been on my own, so if you leave that’s some regular shit.

I overthinking, overlove, overfeel and overstress.

You don’t miss the person, you miss the feeling.

We pretend that we don’t care, but we care.

I get jealous because I know how replaceable I am, I’m nothing special.

You are alone.

It broke my heart but opened my eyes.

As a kid I built a house around my broke heart.

Voices in my head, telling me I’m gonna end up dead.

Never lonely I’m just lowkey.

I guess I’m stressed, I got too much weight up on my chest

I push away the people that I love the most why? I don’t want no one to know I’m vulnerable.

This music’s the only thing keepin’ the peace when I’m fallin’ to pieces.

I used to shine, now I’m all in the dark.

Last year, I felt suicidal. This year, I might do somethin’ different like talkin’ to God more.

If I Jump, living trough these songs. So you know just where to find me

And I ain’t seen a light of day since, well, that’s not important

It’s been long

Told myself it’d get better, no clue what there was next for me.

Don’t cry, it won’t end. Pain will always be my friend.