End of the Year Reflection/Saying Goodbye To Sugar Dating

I meant to post this before the year ended but dating in med school has been incredibly demanding! I had a fling with a millie (one day I will meet my billie). I actually had to retake my block 2 exam because I was so wrapped up in the money I’ll record a podcast episode about it soon but for now here’s my reflection on last year and what I’m looking forward to in the future!

• When I started this blog I was a newbie in the bowl. Had no idea what sugaring really took. Didn’t even realize the difficulties I would face as a brown sugar baby. Thought it would be so easy… I’m so grateful for all the experiences good and bad because they are part of my story. This year I really wanted to take my experiences to the next level. I was able to purchase an investment property with my sugar sis, start med school, elevate my business, had a wonderful sugar daddy, start healing from past traumas & forgive myselffor staying in an abusive relationships for so long (still very much a work in progress). I love counting my blessings because it reminds me of how far I’ve come and excites me about what has yet to come.
• I love sharing my experiences and connecting with so many people who enjoy the same lifestyle and mental frequency. That being said, I’m saying goodbye to sugaring. I feel I’m at a point in my life where I am ready for the next chapter. Sugaring has been so helpful in getting me where I need to be but it’s time to transition. I talk about hypergamy often, and it just seems like a more appropriate setting for me now. My experiences in the sugar bowl have really taught me a lot about men and the dynamics between men + women.
• I have a few upcoming trips planned where I will have the opportunity to be around affluent people with millions/billions of dollars. I’ll still continue to document my journey because I’m sure it’ll be a wild ride. If you’re interested in hearing more about my decision and the reasons behind it, check put my podcast! The season finale episode is up now.
• Unfortunately I have to change the set up of my episodes. The sugar/hypergamy related episodes will be available on my public platform until the start of season 2, and then I will be moving them to a private podcast space. It will still be on Brown Sugar Doc, The Podcast but limited access. This decision was made after a few classmates bombarded me at a party about a sugar date I went on. It was very bizarre but a necessary lesson learned. So to protect my sanity I’ll be continuing to document all things hypergamy related on my private podcast. I’ll still post on my regular pod but for the hypergamy listeners, I’ll continue the journey exclusively for us.

I love everyone who has joined me at any point on this journey. More to come!

Relapse by Brown Sugar Doc, The Podcast

Spotting Male Manipulation Tactics

Whether you’re sugar dating or vanilla dating, manipulation tactics are often used by both parties. This week’s episode takes a look into some of the most common manipulation tactics men use in the dating game.From personal experiences, accounts of other women, and even the men themselves I’ve compiled a list of the top male manipulation tactics. See if you can spot any of these tactics that may have been used on you in the past or that you’ve seen happen:

• Texting endlessly with no real plans to meet
• Asking for pics
• Trying to get you to pick something cheap on the menu
• Buying nice things to throw it in your face during an argument
• Lovebombing
• Lowering your expectations
• “Leaving” without any real intention to leave
• Backhanded compliments

P.S. I’ve just launched a few Self Development Courses (1 free course for Insiders and 7-day free trial for Subscribers before I make it available to the public for purchase!). If interested register on my website hereorshoot me an email and you will receive info about the course description, layout, and registration:

• Health/Wellness/Fitness Course
• Brand Development and Monetizing Yourself Course
• Hypergamy/Leveling Up Course
• Magick Course

The Top List: Spotting 8 Male Manipulation Tactics by Brown Sugar Doc • A podcast on Anchor

I think this whole “accept that you’re the problem” movement in feminine spaces is weird because women have always been socialized to take responsibility for things that both are and aren’t their fault. Bad date? It’s never that the man was trash, is that we chose the wrong man. Bad relationship? It’s never that some things don’t work out, it’s that we didn’t specify what we wanted. Didn’t get that promotion? It’s never that we tried our hardest but it went to someone else, it’s that we didn’t work hard enough. Stressed out? It’s never that we’re taking on too much, it’s that we didn’t manage our time well enough. In pain? It’s never that there’s something that might be wrong, it’s that we’re not exercising enough. Gaining weight? It’s never a normal reaction to aging or stress or hormones, it’s that we go out with our friends too often and eat pizza once a week. We even take responsibility for our parts in our own SA. I don’t think telling a bunch of girls all the time “You need to accept responsibility, you’re the reason you’re not where you want to be, you’ll never make it anywhere if you don’t realize this is all your fault, you have no one else to blame but yourself” is helpful at all, because chances are that they are already taking the blame for everything that happens in their lives, even the things that they shouldn’t be taking blame for. I really wish that we as a community would start giving actually helpful advice to people or just not give it at all, because no one is forcing us to write these “advice” posts.

Young SD?

I’m not going to hold my breath but I found a younger SD who ACTUALLY believes in allowances.

Recently I’ve decided to give the young guys a chance. My mistake. I always hear the same exact bullshit.

“I don’t need to be on here…. I’m an attractive guy… I don’t need to pay for sex” cry me a river then and go on Hinge.

Don’t sign up for an SD site and not expect to pay for it. Lol JUST SAYING.

Makes a decent living but we’ll see what his expectations are

P.s. Anyone in their 20, 30 and early 40s is what I consider young

What a clusterfuck of dates

The WORST part of being an SB for a living is finding someone new. The countless amount of dates you go on. Most of them can’t afford you, so you went to dinner to get fed and get through a date.

Spring training is very active where I am and yes, I could make a shitload of money off these guys wanting short term arrangements. But it’s a short term arrangement that got me raped so….. I’m scarred. Not to mention, I’m an STD freak. One night is not worth a week or two of antibiotics and a fishy pussy. Yes, condoms are a thing but I’ve been burned in the past and I wore protection.

Either way, I look for long term. I have had THE WORST luck lately. Cannot find what I’m looking for. Even if the allowance is right, the man was not.

I haven’t written so many reports on the screening app we use in a long time. Damn.

You do eventually get sick and tired of this lifestyle

There are many highs… but there are many lows.

Today is one of my lows. Where I want to cry. Where I’m sick of relying on someone else to keep my head above water or waiting for a man to buy me something expensive.

Once you get into this lifestyle, it’s SO HARD to get out. It’s like a drug. Seriously.

I was out with some girls where being an SB came up. I will forever tell anyone who asks or inquires about being an SB to NEVER DO IT.

I do wish I never got into this lifestyle. No one told me the long term damage this lifestyle has on you. I don’t think anyone knew in the time of Tumblr OG lol.

Every time I want to get out, use the money to invest in other things, my SD falls through lol it’s so annoying.

Being an SB has given me such a good lifestyle and memories but it’s tiring… I want to date whoever, pay for my own shit without worry.

Sorry for the rant… Tumblr has always been my SB diary… the good and the bad.

I really want a podcast talking about all this shit… OMG

Never be desperate to sugar

I have one of three (now two SDs) because tonight one of them just hasn’t been definitive lately. I asked when I was going to see him and it was never a straight answer.

Tonight he asked me what I’m up to. I say nothing much. He asked when I’m going to see him.

I was kind of annoyed by this question because I had told him before to let me know when his schedule was free. Then he goes, “you sound salty”

*narrows eyes*

It’s 830 at night and he has the audacity to go, “I’m free if you want to see me”

I debate because the ppm is 800 which isn’t bad but something in my guy just doesn’t feel right about this.

So I tell him that basically and block him.

Meanwhile my 8k whale always asks at the end of the date when he’s going to see me.

Looking into equipment

I have so much to say I think a podcast would be great! Hopefully soon, stay tuned

There are men who have everything and won’t give you shit

Learn to recognize these men and RUN.

I’ve encountered these men a few times throughout my years of sugaring. It sucks.

One has kind of come back (or is trying) to come back. We met on SA but I soon came to find out, he just wanted a companion to wipe his tears to get over his last gf.

He got me into a really cool sport, but I had to keep telling him that I can’t spend these weekends with him if he doesn’t help me. I stayed way longer than I should.

We talked about the past and I brought this up to him. To which he replied, “I would have gotten you anything you sent me a link to…. I did get you things” (yeah some yoga pants and some boots… big whoop)

I asked if he wanted to hang out again to which he said yes since things have changed, the ex is gone etc.

SO I’m going to test the waters.

I sent him a link to a Dyson Airwrap. I sent that link 3 hours ago. Hasn’t replied. Thus, once again, he’s just full of shit.

Sometimes I can’t stop

I can be a horrible glutton for punishment sometimes. Sometimes what I have is never enough, especially when it comes to rich men.

I have my 8k allowance guy, and two other ones which equates to another 5k.

Well, an old relationship came back… who I met on the site but he never gave me anything but he did get me into an awesome sport. Well, I found out that he’s secretly a bitcoin billionaire and makes a TON of residuals from his software.

ON TOP OF THAT, I managed to flirt with Showoff SD… because I saw the private jet on his way to Mexico.. and caught his attention again…. <- I’m regretting that decision. But I just like knowing I can snag him over all his Barbie blonde girls lol it’s a conquest.

Honestly I think the inflation, war and everything becoming so expensive is freaking me out and I’m looking for any kind of financial security if shit hits the fan.

“I’m too sober for this”

Although I don’t recommend drinking while you’re with your SD, sometimes it helps when you need it most. I really enjoy my new whale, I love to talk to him and joke.

Intimacy? Eh. He looks great for his later 50s but his arms have that thin, crapy old man skin…. which kind of grosses me out. He doesn’t drink at all but doesn’t mind if I do. However, my best friend is sober and has been for 15+ years. Thus, I don’t tend to drink a lot around him. Unfortunately that same mindset kind of hit while I was with my new SD.

As we were getting hot and heavy, I realized, “Shit, I should have drank more.”

It’s even worse because this was our first time together as well and first time sex is never that good. You get to see what weird movements and quirks your SD has that probably made him a single man in the first place.

Ever had a guy move his hips in circles while he was inside you? Where in the Sam hell did you learn such a tactic? What are you trying to do? Butter up my sweet walls with that knife? Sheesh.

So either way, doesn’t last long (thank the heavens) but then mr. genius goes, “You know how we were talking about fantasies?”

…………

…..Yeah. Thinking, okay hopefully it’s like a costume play.

“I have this rape fantasy…” and then he goes on to tell me about one of his favorite porns that he thinks he funny where it’s rape of course and threatens this girl out naked of the house…..

Geeze….. out of ALL the fantasies a guy can have….. it had to be this one.

Doing some research, these fantasies are actually REALLY common amongst individuals.

In personal experience, the more wealthy…the weirder.

Snagged my Whale

He adores me. Hoping to invest this money HARD CORE into my life so I can finally exit. I’m ready to be a multimillionaire who travels the world at my free will. No men, just me.

Update on the Showoff Whale

I couldn’t snag him. I wish.

He’s addicted to drama and super Barbie blondes. Well, that’s just the opposite of me. I’m also sweet, kind and I communicate very effectively. Maybe I texted too much. ‍♀️

We had a fun few weeks, he invited me to Cabo with his two girls who just adored me. I honestly thought I had him. I satisfied all his needs, physically everything was great. I even made him nervous and self conscious. Lol

So, him spending a weekend with his ex doesn’t surprise me. He’s used to her, maybe isn’t intimidating for him, who knows.

If you give a guy everything he could ask for and he still leaves? Honey, it’s not you, I promise. Some guys just struggle internally. Sometimes your standards make them have to work to be a better man and they don’t want to abs it happens.

BUT one man’s she’s too good for me, isn’t another man’s “she’s everything I’m looking for”

Which totally happened later. Went on a date, we had an AMAZING time, he offered 8k a month. Uh, yes please. So… bye Mr. Showoff! Hello to my new whale and sponsor.

This DOSEN’T EXIST

Do you know how many of us, especially, especially men who are FED UP with these TikTok girls spewing this bullshit?

“I make 5-10k a month without sleeping with my sugar daddy…..:buy my course all I’ll show you how”

Oh. My. God.

Now in RARE instances have I actually seen this happen with someone I used to follow. She’s deactivated but still.

It doesn’t exist. I don’t know how much I have to preach this. They make money off your views and stupid courses that aren’t even real.

You might get short term, sure. But the long term, the real 5 figure monthly allowances COMES WITH SEX. Sorry dear.

I’m here, I promise

I miss tumblr days, unfortunately I scroll Reddit posts now. Some subreddits are good. Some are just horrid about SW and the bowl.

Life had been peachy. I’m about to get a WHALE of a daddy but he’s very public about his lifestyle and who he dates. Fine BUT the second I get posted, I know some fire is going to come about. With his exes… or mine.. I REALLY HOPE NOT.

I like the private guys. The secretly wealthy. Lol

However, the rewards are huge…. Worth the risk? Probably. I’ll let you guys know.

This is what happens when you stop paying when you go on a date

I saw this post on TikTok about a guy commented that a guy should always pay for the first date but a girl should expect to pay half…. And then I saw a comment “I’ll happily pay for the whole bill or half! It’s called respect”

I’m sorry, what? I felt so sorry for this girl because someone conditioned her that she, as a woman, should have to provide like a man should. HELL NO. It’s not called respect, it’s called a guy can play you because he doesn’t have to invest in you.

Honey, level up. I get spoiled by my new sponsor with a big allowance and gifts like this.

Girl… go to bed like the successful heaux that you are. That you don’t have a fuck boy, but a wealthy sponsor who deposits money in your account every week, buys you designer because he wants to, flys you first class, if he has work, he sends you out to do your favorite things then takes you out to exclusive dinners and constantly compliments everything everyone else over looked. You live peacefully, you have it made..

This is my life lately.

Boundaries We Must Set In Relationships…

“Boundaries are such an important topic because they are one of the important pillars of self-love.”

Keep reading

Homemaker or a Career Woman? Pros and Cons

This post was based on a question I received on my thoughts on stay-at-home moms & wives.Click here to read.

Ladies, it is essentialto know the lifestyle you want to live. If your main priority is to take care of your kids and enjoy leisure time. Then, you may prefer to be a stay-at-parent. If being a boss babe and having independence is important to you, you may prefer being an entrepreneur or having a career.

Perks of being a Career Woman

Financial Independence:

• When you make your own money, YOUcall the shots! If financial independence is important to you and gives you peace of mind a career might be for you.
• You may like the status and recognition that comes with earning your own money.

Larger social pool:

• Most stay-at-home moms hang out with their families and other stay-at-home moms. If you enjoy socializing in corporate functions a career is a better option.
• When you have a career that takes you places and into settings with a variety of people, it can be more rewarding for your career or business.

Purpose beyond family life:

• Although being a mother and wife is rewarding, some may want a life surpassing home.
• If you feel your calling is beyond being a mother and wife a career you are passionate about you fulfill that need.
• You don’t want to look back and wish you did more. Find a life that is worth living, and that includes working.. so be it.

Perks of being a Homemaker

You never miss a moment:

• When you stay at home you can be there for every moment of your kid’s childhood.
• From ballet practice to graduations to prom. You won’t miss a beat! (My mom was a stay-at-home mom for 15 years. she was there for my sibling through everything.)

Rest in your femininity:

• Feminine energy is receptive and less active than masculine energy. When you stay home and are able to live more leisurely you can rest in your femininity.
• Allows your partner to work hard for you and your family while you focus on making the house a home.

Freedom (more or less):

• You can spend the day as you wish with no other obligation than taking care of the kids, possibly making meals and maintaining the home.
• Attending meetups with other stay-at-home moms.
• picking up a profitable hobby like blogging or painting.

Disclaimer: You can be a successful ambitious woman and a stay-at-home mom, but remember: it can be very difficult to do it all at once! This can eventually lead to burnout.

My top 5 favourite Level Up Affirmations

Affirmation #1: I am uniquely created with a purpose.

You being here was not an accident. You living the life you live and coming into contact with the people you’ve met has not been an accident. Don’t go wasting it all and aimlessly moving about life. Every step you take has a purpose. You have a purpose. So live on purpose!

Affirmation #2: It is okay to say no.

It is okay to say no so that you can say yes to yourself.Yes to protect your mental space. Protect your energy. Say yes to more rest. Say yes to doing more of what you love. Spend 2022 saying yes to you more.

Affirmation #3: I am capable & I am competent.

I am challenging myself to focus less on the information or skills I may not have yet and put my energy into what I do have and can provide. Most importantly, I remember that I am capable of digesting information and developing the needed skills along the way.

How selfish is it to think that the gifts and talents you have are for you? What good is having gifts if you don’t use them and share them from time to time? You like writing and you have a story to tell but do you think you’ll just keep it all to yourself? Someone out there needs to see or hear what you have to share.

How selfish is it to think that the gifts and talents you have are for you? What good is having gifts if you don’t use them and share them from time to time? You like writing and you have a story to tell but do you think you’ll just keep it all to yourself? Someone out there needs to see or hear what you have to share.

You never know how sharing your light can significantly impact another life. God gave you these gifts and you’re going to keep them to yourself? Don’t be stingy with what the Universe/God gave you.

Affirmation #5: It may be scary, but anything is achievable.

If you are thinking about taking a leap of faith and betting on yourself, whether it’s going for that job promotion or starting that business, or moving out on your own, then go for it.

Don’t let the fear of the unknown scare you and stop you in your tracks. We spend a lot of time focusing on the fear of the “what-ifs” when we are thinking about making a change and that only leads to anxiety, procrastination, and lost time. You can never truly know what will happen until you have begun to move.

We Just created a mailling list! Get notified about exclusive content + Free level up PDF checklist!
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Why you must Make Yourself a Priority

There is a lot of talk about self-care on this blog, but the truth is that self-care begins with prioritizing yourself. There are a lot of benefits to making yourself a priority. On the other hand, if you ignore your needs and put the needs of others first, many problems can arise.The consequence of putting others before yourself is people pleasing.

So Why You Need To Make Yourself A Priority?✨

If you truly want to love yourself and respect yourself, you must put yourself first. We can also influence how others treat us by how we treat ourselves. It is also important to carry yourself in a certain manner for people to treat you the same. Here are 4 ways that have helped me make myself a priority in my own life…

Create a weekly schedule

Make sure you take time for yourself! You can do anything you like, whether it is studying new things, hobbies, relaxation, crafts. Whatever your interests are, make clear time for them unapologetically. This is one of the ways you’ll begin to love yourself better since you’ll get to know yourself better.

If You Need Help, Ask!

In all this, remember to ask for help whenever necessary. Being your own priority doesn’t mean alienating yourself. Build a network of trusted and dependable friends, people you can be yourself around. Our guards are much more heightened when we’re surrounded by the wrong people and nobody needs that

Create Strong Boundaries!

Establishing boundaries will help you avoid situations you do not want to be in. The moment we do not set boundaries, we are inviting everything into our lives, good and bad alike.By knowing what matters to you, you will be able to create some boundaries. When you know yourself, putting boundaries against things that aren’t aligned will be much easier.

Learn How To Say No!

This is a part of going with the flow. Saying no and being firm about it are two important skills. Don’t give in to the temptation to do something you don’t want. Your tendency to change your mind easily is something people will recognize and know they only have to ask several times before you agree. Some ideas illustrate how to say no politely if you think giving a flat no is rude.

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5 Ways to Express Your Emotions in a Healthy Feminine Manner Pt 2

If you haven’t seen part 1 yet, CLICK HERE!

Here’s are 5 more ways to express your emotions in a healthy feminine manner.

Pamper yourself

Wash your hair, go shopping, treat yourself to a spa day. Whatever it is that helps you unwind and feel pampered do it! This isn’t a long-term solution to unresolved feelings it might be a quick fix to turn your day and mood around.

Invest in therapy

I highly encourage all women on their journey to better themselves to go to therapy.We are all the products of our childhood, and many of us have experienced trauma as children. It is your job to explore those feelings and get to the root of your issues. A therapist who has experience can help you with this!

Process your emotions

Rest and recovery should be a part of all processes. Take time to reflect on what triggered your emotional state. Dealing with your emotions is the key to healing.

Exercise

Regulating our emotions can be made easier through exercise. When we exercise, our body releases dopamine and endorphins that give us all types of good feelings of reward & pleasure. In addition to it being good for our long term health.

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