mirronx:

d3viantvanguard:

bakwaaas:

helping other people does make me feel better tho

this is actually a legit mental health strategy!

when you’ve got so many problems and/or such big problems that you can’t solve any of them, you can fall into learned helplessness (where you learn from repeated failures that you can’t ever succeed, and so you don’t try anymore, even once you’re in a situation where you cansucceed)

so if a friend shares one of their problems with you and you can help them with it, even if it seems small or irrelevant compared to your own issues, you can prevent or reduce your learned helplessness (because yay, you succeeded! not totally helpless!)

also, both empathy and compassion can help to reduce the distress of those who are struggling and help to facilitate problem-solving and emotion-soothing behaviours (two important adaptive coping strategies… we cope as groups, not just as individuals) from others, so it can often be a case of “a problem shared is a problem halved”

if you feel better in any way after helping your friends, then it’s not as simple as “valuing their mental health over yours”. social interactions aren’t always give-and-take transactions, you might both get something good out of it :)

and on the flip side, there’s absolutely no shame in saying “feel free to rant, I’m listening, I just don’t have the spoons to respond / give advice right now” :)

This is me. I’m always there to listen and try to help if I can.

powtybunny:

reblog if you age regress to cope with…

☁️- anxiety

- depression

- bipolar disorder

- ptsd

- any mental illness

- childhood trauma

- growing up too fast

- or any other reason!

you don’t need to explain your age regression to anyone, it is valid no matter how or why you regress!

☁️

TW: Trauma

Being as vague as possible here, I went through something a wee bit traumatic yesterday. I am physically okay and so is the other person who was involved but it scared the hell out of me. It’s one of those things that keeps playing over and over in my head whenever my brain isn’t distracted with something else. I keep thinking about all of the what if’s and other ways it could’ve gone and I just want it to stop. I keep zoning out and I can barely focus on anything. I know it’s over now and everyone is okay and there’s nothing else I can do, but I can’t stop thinking about it (the fact that money is involved too does not help calm me down).

Anyway, the reason I’m sharing is because I was wondering if anyone who has experienced trauma would be willing to share any of their coping mechanisms. I really have no idea how to deal with this other than waiting it out and giving my brain time to process and compartmentalize the incident.

Reading is my coping mechanisms.

*stressed bird noises*

Does smoking cigarettes really help suppressing appetite ?

Asking for a friend ;)

Just me anxious and restless to be creative but having no energy to do so.

divineinferno:

does anyone know why some people with PDs think that they’re divinity etc. like where does it stem from/wtf is it

Invalid although this answer is when applied to PD diagnosees as a whole, I’ve talked to others about this as well as feeling it myself, so here’s my 2-n-a-half cents…

I think a really important factor of how we are taught the concept of divinity is ‘inhuman power beyond human comprehension’.

Not only are we dehumanized and otherized by… everyone…. both in amicable misunderstanding AND cruel discrimination, but also our intensity, in whatever form that may take, falls outside the realm of human 'normalcy’. Personality disorders are essentially, I think, various patterns of atypical intensity.

Therein lies our power. Our intensity drives that within us which cannot be felt by most people. It may be tormenting, overwhelming, unbridled, but that doesn’t dismiss the fact that it is a significant internal force.

We are mysteries. And we are deeply alone, save for each other. However, that depth is our own. I think there are few of us who can say that the most profound of our identifying experiences has been really understood by someone neurotypical (or perhaps even non-_PD). This isolation can either be interpreted as a wretched inferiority or, OR, as something ethereal.

Malevolent or benevolent, seraphim or demon, identifying as not-of-this-world seems to be quite a popular coping mechanism among us. There, our imperfect integration, our social/emotional destitution, our lonelinessthat very much makes us who we aremakes sense. Who wouldn’t seek comfort in the supernatural when faced with the sentence of being unnatural?

Angels find solace where born-brittle-then-broken humans cannot. It’s much lovelier that way, anyway.

Can we talk about little space for a moment?

Not ddlg k!nk shit. Just people who go into little space because it is so so misunderstood. It’s not about wanting to have s3x with child or an adult “pretending” to be a kid.

Some people were robbed of their childhood. Some people suffered traumatic events in their childhood, maybe even infancy. They never knew life or even childhood without trauma. In teenage years or adulthood it can be therapeutic to enjoy the things most kids do. They didn’t get to back then, so who are you to tell them now that they can’t? Everyone deserves the sweet feeling of innocence and joy.

(Maybe tw) For example, my first traumatic experience was at 2 years old. A dog attack that made me terrified of going outside. I didn’t get to play on playgrounds or sidewalk chalk like others did. I was inside too scared to go out and have fun. I experienced s3xual abuse from 3-6 years old. I never knew a life without trauma. I never knew childhood without trauma. Now I’m 20 and I honestly find so much enjoyment in toys, stuffies, playgrounds, crayons, etc. I’m always so embarrassed to admit it, I’m afraid to look immature or stupid or like I’m just k!nky. It’s not s3xual at all for me. It’s coping. It’s an escape from my normal self (who is anxious, depressed, paranoid). Instead I get to be playful, innocent, and imaginative.

That was my writing, these pictures are not mine but go along with the post:

For eternity

roughkiss:

river-b:

unfuckyourhabitat:

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

• Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.
• Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.
• Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.
• Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.
• Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.
• Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.
• Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.
• Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.
• Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!
• Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.
• Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.
• Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.
• Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
• Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.
• Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.
• If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.
• Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.
• It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.
• Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.

the number of times in my past that I desperately wanted/needed someone to sit me down and tell me this stuff. I will never get back the hours and hours lost to headless-chicken mode, but it’s nice to know that in the last year I’ve learned so many coping mechanisms :D

A final tip if it’s super critical, you can toss things into closets and drawers. If you can get the bathroom and kitchen into reasonable shape, you’re golden. The rest of it can be fudged by putting stuff into closets and drawers. If you have time, clean for real, but if not, toss that shit.

I feel like the whole addictive personality/unhealthy coping mechanism thing isn’t talked about enough but also really hard to explain to someone else

Like I’m constantly on a precarious seesaw of trying to control one without making another a problem. I can essentially trade addictions but it’s a lesser evil kind of situation

Eg/ I really shouldn’t drink. I know this. I have a personal and family history of alcohol related issues, shall we say. So I tried to stop drinking. And it worked. Mostly. Except I started gambling. Because I wasn’t drinking. So now I’m having a drink or two while I try to stop wasting money. Which is working, in an unhealthy kinda way

I stopped SH by smoking. I haven’t cut in over a year but I gained a nicotine addiction. I vape so it’s slightly less bad. But if I stop, I might end up back where I started

And I have to be careful. Because if I, for example, dieted, it would grow. It wouldn’t stop at a certain weight or a certain calorie deficit. It would become a compulsion

Because these are coping mechanisms. I took the ones I started with and traded them off and/or evolved them to where I am now. And it’s good in a way because I’m coping. But it’s not great because these aren’t healthy and it’s hard to explain to someone without them being like ‘well stop?’ or just judging me

Instead of risking saying the wrong thing, I close off and say nothing.