#need to be thinner

I’ve just realized I usually relapse at the start of a manic episode so that’s fun lmao

Legitimately thinking of picking up vaping or smoking because I heard it suppresses your appetite.. this is a new low lmfaooo

Currently really not loving my life lol but my birthday is in a couple of days and I don’t wanna die before my birthday ya know also I just want to be at school again so I can stop eating lunch at my dads but I really don’t wanna go back to school lmao

I got my braces wire tightened today cause, my orthodontist opened and, am I gonna use it as an excuse not to eat? You fuckin bet!!

Yesterday I ended up consuming a “normal” amount of calories and, same with today and I feel so awful yay so I’m gonna try to fast for 45 and half hours (very specific ik lmao) or more before I go to my dads and, I’m going to try to stay in my cal limit at my dads all week even though it’s really hard but, I lost 4.9 pounds this week (probably just water weight) and I’m planning to keep it off I don’t want it back Lmaoo and on another note my friend keeps unintentionally triggering me because, she has an ED and she’s trying to recover but, she keeps calling herself fat and, talking about weight gain and, weight loss and, restriction and, all that which makes me really insecure cause if she thinks she’s fat I’m a fucking whale compared to her so, I feel shitty lol.

cw: 116lbs weight left to lose: 16lbs

yesterday and the day before i was supposed to be fasting and still ate so i’m gonna try my best not to eat at all until i go back to my dads

don’t mind me just daydreaming about peanut butter

i’m gonna start putting my cw and how much i need to lose on all of my posts to keep me motivated so CW: 119.6 9.6 to GW

i had to stay at my dads for an extra weekend and somehow i still maintained so i’m gonna try not to eat again this week and hopefully drop 5 pounds

what time is it where you live i’m curious lol

i’m so hungry

i had coffee, diet coke, and an energy drink today on an empty stomach cause i forgot i bought a drink so i was like hmm i should buy a drink and i did it twice and now i’m super paranoid cause i’ve had three caffeinated beverages on an empty stomach in one day lmao fuck

i’m at my moms and i’m planning on fasting all week wish me luck lmao

Tw: mention of Ed behaviours and restriction

Breakfast: 0 cals

Lunch: subway veggie delight 230

Supper: pita pit regular garden 439

Snack: I tried not to have a snack but I caved and I’m really upset with myself but toast 207 cals

I’m not doing super great rn so these probably won’t be everyday anymore sorry

I could’ve been skinny by now

i just want to be thin

this whole not eating thing is getting boring

ngl Christmas break is scaring me a little. what if i can’t control myself and start eating again ?

i have 3 days of school left and then im off on Wednesday for two weeks. i wanna see if i can go back visibly smaller. idk if it’ll show tbh.