#anarecic

heyy so my main account is @cherry-flavoured-poison<3

cause I just realised that all my mutuals probably don’t realise I followed them back :(

GUYS I DID IT, I actually fucking did it, I wanted to reach my goal weight by Christmas and I did it!!!!<<<<33333

Aaaahhhhh I just needed to tell someone <3

I just had a panic attack (and was literally sobbing uncontrollably on the kitchen floor til my parents found me) cause I had planned to have soup and boiled eggs for dinner and I couldn’t find the right spoon and the eggshells didn’t peel off smoothly enough…. Like…Umm wtf…..it’s not that deep babes xo

my mum just hugged me and said ‘I can feel your ribs… I shouldn’t be able to feel your ribs’ which made me happy until I realised there’s such a double standard for me and my sister like my mum would never say that to her and she’s skinnier than me but it’s because she’s always been skinny so they think it’s normal and healthy for her but I’ve always been fat so they think it’s unnatural and unhealthy for me (like yes I know I’ve lost weight in an unhealthy way but it makes me feel like I’ll always be seen as fat by the people who know me)

Legitimately thinking of picking up vaping or smoking because I heard it suppresses your appetite.. this is a new low lmfaooo

Currently really not loving my life lol but my birthday is in a couple of days and I don’t wanna die before my birthday ya know also I just want to be at school again so I can stop eating lunch at my dads but I really don’t wanna go back to school lmao

Forgot to log today but, I just had a couple veggie sushi’s and an iced coffee about 560 cals total anyway to the point of this posts lmao, does anybody else kinda want to go to the hospital or a psych ward cause, you could leave all your responsibilities and get away from your life or, am I just crazy???

Yesterday I ended up consuming a “normal” amount of calories and, same with today and I feel so awful yay so I’m gonna try to fast for 45 and half hours (very specific ik lmao) or more before I go to my dads and, I’m going to try to stay in my cal limit at my dads all week even though it’s really hard but, I lost 4.9 pounds this week (probably just water weight) and I’m planning to keep it off I don’t want it back Lmaoo and on another note my friend keeps unintentionally triggering me because, she has an ED and she’s trying to recover but, she keeps calling herself fat and, talking about weight gain and, weight loss and, restriction and, all that which makes me really insecure cause if she thinks she’s fat I’m a fucking whale compared to her so, I feel shitty lol.

I feel like an awful person rn cause my friend is in recovery for anorexia and it’s making me want to lose a lot of weight before the next time i see her so she’ll be recovered and I’ll be the skinny one and that is the shittiest thing I’ve ever thought of and I feel so awful about it but it’s just me ED talking I guess :(

I forgot to log the past two days so, on Wednesday I had a small bowl of cinnamon toast crunch and a splash of milk for 203 calories and then, I had tuna for supper for 154 calories and then, half a cup of ice cream for dessert 160 calories and then today, or I guess it’s yesterday now lol, I binged on mostly cinnamon toast crunch and oatmeal cookies with Pb and it came to around 2690 cals. Today my moms making me go out for supper so, I’m gonna try to find the least calorific thing on the menu cause the last two days I ate so shitty lol and then, the next two days after that I’m gonna try to fast.

what time is it where you live i’m curious lol

Okay, so, I’m probably definitely going to weigh more on my next weigh day than I did on my last because I’ve SERIOUSLY been slacking. But on the bright side, I’m very close to running out of my personal food supply, so I think I’m going to start a fast at the beginning of next week when there’s probably not going to be anything left in my room to tempt me.