I cannot put into words how much I do not care about people who ‘fake being disabled for benefits’ cause a) it’s wildly blown out of proportion, is a very damaging rhetoric and is a huge waste of time and resources b) I do not trust the government to decide or be able to tell who is and who isn’t 'faking’ and c) if someone is going through that much hassle for such a comparatively small reward then they probably need the money and I’d rather they have it than not.
Oooohhhhhh PPPRRRREEEEEAAAACCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Also, do y'all know how BORING being disabled/chronically ill and not being able to do stuff can be? Every “normal” person quits after a few months because there are only so many movies/TV series to watch, online games to play, books to read, records to sort, cupboards/closets to empty and rearrange, stuff to do around the house, blankets to knit… Believe me. (Insertion: Would I be glad to be able to do all that.)
So you wanna go outside at some point. But guess what: Ppl will ask you what you’re doing outside during daytime when everybody else is working. So you should be able to explain what kind of disability you have. And then ppl will ask you: But… It can’t be that bad, you’re able to take a walk, so why aren’t you working?! Well… Believe me! You’ll only be able to have that conversation a few times before you get super annoyed and try to stay at home (because you’ll meet ppl who know you literally everywhere and every time you’ll have to explain that, yes, you’re still disabled/sick, and no, you’re not better yet, and also no, you’re still not able to work). But at home it’s boring again.
In conclusion: Even if somebody was trying to fake it, they wouldn’t be able to keep the scheme up for very long because basically, non-disabled ppl don’t have the eagerness to do it. It needs a lot of physical and emotional strength to be disabled - it is almost impossible to fake it over a long period of time.
I love how ableist ppl always tell me stuff about my illness.
But what I love maybe even a little more are ppl that are allies and tell me that I shouldn’t be talking about my disability with these ppl in the first place, because I should know by now that nothing good comes out of it.
I mean.
Have y'all heard of awareness?
How am I supposed to get word out abt something like CFS/ME, if I’m not allowed to talk about it or if I’m only talking to ppl who’re already allies?
Also: Instead of telling assholes to not tell us sick ppl what to do - no, of course tell us to not talk to them.
As if it was that easy to just skip that topic.
Everybody asks me what I’m doing, what my hobbies are, etc. How am I supposed to respond? Shall I lie?
So maybe just everybody shut the everloving fuck up and let me be upset when I come across another asshole.
Just like a thousand stories shared between the night’s dark letters of love and tales never written whole, will our love be yet another chapter in the history of this world which never found the light of the suns?
Yesterday I cried. I don’t even know why I cried. I’m so sad. I’m always sad, there’s a dark cloud floats over me but instead of rain it’s sadness that surrounds me. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. I can’t remember what Happiness feels like. Was I ever Happy?.. I’m trapped in my mind and the only thing that keeps me awake are my thoughts. I wish I could shut them out just for a while I’m so tired and I just need to rest… just for a little bit. I don’t understand people making jokes about depression, what’s funny about it? Did I miss the joke cause I’m not laughing. I’m so afraid of my thoughts that I won’t let anyone get close enough to me but how do I tell the person who wants to get to know me? People hurt People that’s a fact my mind is telling me so I’ll stay in the darkness of my thoughts and keep my distance It’s not healthy but at least I’m safe. I’ve been in the dark for so long that It has become my friend. I got some demons in my head they trying to trick me but that’s okay…. I’m used to it..
