#heartache

bad days can come so fast

“He’s going to be sorry he lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past, forget the pain and remember what and incredible woman you are.”

“So much of the world is broken and I want to be part of its healing.”

— Alison Deming

“And you’ll be forever in my heart.

I promise.”

“When I was a little girl, I thought that love had to be delicate and fragile, similar to a flower. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that love can be different. It can be like a firework, explosive and bright. It can be raw, passionate, wild. Maybe even dangerous or reckless, but you shouldn’t be scared to fall in love. You are made of flesh and bone and muscle, and you are strong enough to handle any type of it.”

“If I’ve learned anything from life, it’s that sometimes, the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. I’ve learned that the most toxic people can teach us the most important lessons; that our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth; and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people. I’ve learned that what seems like the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path. I’ve learned that no matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope. And I’ve learned that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can’t give up. We have to keep going. Even when it’s scary, even when all of our strengths seems gone, we have to keep picking ourselves back up and moving forward, because whatever we’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next.”

Confusion
By: Christian Alexander Redden

Confusion
Lost little boy
No one to hug
No other joy

Depression
Sickening
Kicking into motion
Kicks his ass
Lost focus

Nothing seems to be right
Keeping head up
Looking for the light
Darkness
Seeping in every corner
Only problem is he never enjoyed them

Looks to his demons for a suppress
Never even thought of how big of the mess
Got tied up in a twist
Always seemed to never miss

Brought in by the guilt
It controlled him
Sad little thing can only grow deem

Never seemed to know whats good from the wrong
Only thing left for him is a sad little song

Can’t seem to quench the rage
Only seems to spin the page
As it has all his known words whats the rest
The sad little boy had to confess

He walked up to the alter
And said his little piece
Now the boy dies and lies dead in his feet

For he can’t move can’t obtain
Quieting the anger quieting the rage
Best outcome is he tightens his grip
Never smarts off or say some stupid shit…

After midnight thoughts.

Streaming tears. Nightmares full of fears.

Nightmare rape. Lips sealed with tape.

Bitten lips. Heart scarred with rips.

Vulnerable heart. Faking smiles art.

Sometimes I would just like to tell the people closest to me: hey, I was raped.

But then I don’t, because they’ll look at me differently.

What’s left to do when everything feels lost?

darling-with-no-problems:

I would rather be broken than break someone else…

I hate that I’m always so alone, especially on nights like this where my depression gets the best of me and suddenly I realize how alone I am. I dont have anyone to turn to when this happens, I don’t have people who are actually there for me. No one ever knows what to do and I just feel like even more of a burden. I feel like a burden all the time and I dont know how to reach out to people when I feel like the world is coming down around me and it feels like the only thing that will make it stop is just to stop existing. I dont want to feel alone. I just want to be able to connect to other people without feeling like theres something wrong with me, like I’m broken.

My mental health has never been worse and I’m crying alone at 2am bc I don’t have people there for me and I don’t know how to change that.

Enigma

At times I look at you, and wonder, what are you?

My attempts at defining just what you are has left my usually limber mind stiff with confusion.

I am unable to comprehend your behaviors.

Are they signs?

Or are they ministrations, jests at my heart, amusement at my expense?

I struggle to depict with accuracy your nature.

Are you like wind,

Who flutters by, unable to be held in my hands

Slipping through my fingers

but chilling my soul?

Calm and refreshing on spring-like days

But tempestuous and fearsome in the heat of summer?

Are you like water?

Salvation to my love parched being,

A necessity for survival?

Quick to fill and overtake, fluid and accommodating

But capable of drowning me in infinite darkness.

Are you a flower?

Only blooming sweetly in the sunshine,

Fleeting in affection

But impressionably fragrant beyond the expiration

Of your wilting love?

You scorch me in the sun of your smile, a treat to warm my heart

But I shiver under the luminescent gaze of your stormy eyes.

You are a blanket over me,

Covering me in familiarity

Yet before you I am uncomfortably bare

Naked and unprotected by impulse.

Without control over my own awareness

I cast down the garment of my heart before you.

I am overwhelmed by your power.

I am emboldened by your weaknesses.

Enigma, how the question of your place in my mind and heart plague me.