#thinspri

heyy so my main account is @cherry-flavoured-poison<3

cause I just realised that all my mutuals probably don’t realise I followed them back :(

GUYS I DID IT, I actually fucking did it, I wanted to reach my goal weight by Christmas and I did it!!!!<<<<33333

Aaaahhhhh I just needed to tell someone <3

*starts my period*

ed brain-

…… :(

rational brain-

you sick fuck

my mum just hugged me and said ‘I can feel your ribs… I shouldn’t be able to feel your ribs’ which made me happy until I realised there’s such a double standard for me and my sister like my mum would never say that to her and she’s skinnier than me but it’s because she’s always been skinny so they think it’s normal and healthy for her but I’ve always been fat so they think it’s unnatural and unhealthy for me (like yes I know I’ve lost weight in an unhealthy way but it makes me feel like I’ll always be seen as fat by the people who know me)

*trying to open up about my ed*

‘So do you just like not eat’

me: ‘obviously I eat’

‘Oh that’s good then, I’m glad it’s not serious’

you know you’re desperate when your youtube search history contains “subliminals”

having my pictures taken for my new id card is the best and only acceptabe kind of fatspo

i’m not eating ever again

i’m literally willing to die for getting rid of my fat cheeks

i really feel like fixing my mindset today

i’m gonna try only eating when i’m really hungry instead of at times i set up for myself and not obsessing around it but obviously staying in the low cal range

naturally skinny mindset here i come /lol i feel so delusional/

today is my birthday i’m turning 17 cals are on me today

i’m back at 55.8 which is both good and bad at the same time lol

i just want to get myself together again

next week i’m starting a new sport - pole dancing exactly - with my best friend i’m so excited about it

i’m leaving for Florence on friday it’s gonna be great

my insomnia and laziness is such a power couple

i don’t do anything during the day then i write 2 essays and study for the physics test at 3 am

today went ok i went to training and i also did my regular 40 min -500 cals workout

i did eat fast food with my friends and indeed more than i’d like to admit but as i didn’t eat much otherwise i’ll let that slip ( I let it but my evil braincells are still creating this living hell out of my life bc of those *chiccy nuggies* )

sleep well darlings<3

i’m back to report that the relationship with my mom is now irrepairable and due to all this stress i gained a kg in a few days

but to share some god news i’m in the final round of the selection process of a scholarship program that would allow me to spend a yeer in the us for free the closer it gets the less i want to go actually as i wouldn’t be out of reach for my parents or any parent so just moving by myself seems more appealing but also i literally have no idea how i’d make enough money for rent

enough for now we’ll see anyway

more good news: i started pole dancing and it’s a whole lot of fun also if shit hits the fan i still could be a stripper lol the new sport actually gives me a lot of motivation to get my shit together i want to do high res (800 cals) plus a workout that burns around 550 cals and stretching every day except sunday wednesday and friday as those are already training days

i just want a slender body and hollow cheeks that’s all i want

i need to be really pragmatic about food it’s there to fuel my body not to please me duh

i did my workout which is according to the youtuber’s fitness watch burned around 800 cals so yay

i think my net cals are in the minus range

nov 01

workout: done

studying: not yet

i maintained in october completely but my mindset haven’t been this fucked up like ever

no sweets november

no eating outside the house november

no eating between meals november

working out every day november

actually losing weight november????

my goal for november is getting in the 52 range lol

gotta change layout and do cute accountability posts