Hey so I suddenly got a big boost in followers which is really cool! But at the same time kinda sad because there are so many people out there fighting for their life everyday with this disease. So I just wanted to casually remind you all that recovery is ALWAYS an option. You are never “not sick enough” to recover. You deserve happiness and you deserve a normal life with a healthy relationship with food. So please, if there is a single molecule in you that is willing to fight this disease, hold onto that hope and fight. Fight for yourself, your friends, your family. I know its easier said then done, but im rooting for you. If you can, please escape this hell

Self care is replacing “Im gonna kill myself” with “Im gonna commit genocide”

My skin is translucent.
The bags under my eyes are an iris purple that fade into a bruised green.
My eyes themselves are glossed over and empty, long since void of any joy.
My chin freckled with redness from the teenage acne that wouldn’t go away.
My skin dry and lips chapped, a smile perfected in it’s trade of foolery.
My scalp thinning, hair dry, it doesn’t seem to shine like it used to.
My fingernails flake and chip and the fingers attached become brittle and thin.
My muscles ache and brain is clouded over, A fog in my head that refuses to clear.
Every step is exhausting, every thought is overwhelming.
My gut twists in pain as I again refuse to nourish it.
My vision is foggy.
My head is in agony.
My emotions are unruly
All my friends have seemed to abandon me.
My reflection is no longer my own.
Everything is spinning, it hurts so much, I cant stop crying, I hate myself more than anything…..

But at least I’ll be skinny

Do you guys ever get that feeling of like “omg I’ve eaten too much” but you’ve barely eaten anything that day??? It freaks me out at first cause I feel like I must’ve eaten something huge and then forgotten about it somehow

Also: update about the whole break up situation. I think I’m in a more calm state of mind to explain it better (even though no one asked lol). But basically I’m a type of person who is in relationships for a Long term goal. I’m in this so i can spend my life with someone I love. I don’t really like dating just for the fun of it so I don’t typically get into relationships unless I 100% trust them and love them. I think that’s also why it hurts me so much when they just decide that they’re not interested anymore. Like it was a game to them when I was taking it 100% seriously. And as someone with pretty obvious self esteem issues (it comes with the ana) my brain just immediately comes to the conclusion that it was something I did, the way I look, or just my personality. I think somewhere in my head I know that it’s probably not just me, and that I shouldn’t blame myself, but I just cant help it ya know? I’m doing a lot better now, I still get those mocking voices telling me that they left because im worthless but I’m pretty sure that’s just part of have an ed. Thank you to everyone who gave me support during some low times for me, I don’t think I have enough trust to be in a relationship for a while but I also know that there is someone out there for me, I just haven’t found them yet. Love y’all

Santa baby just slip some mental stability under the tree, for me-

Ya gorl going through another break up lol

I always said I don’t have a type… but I think im finally realizing what that type is. It’s the people who have been in literally a million relationships and they have a new partner pretty much every time you see them. Somehow I convince myself that I will be this special snowflake and they will fall for me and realize I’m worth keeping… but obviously I’m not. Nobody else has ever had a crush on me besides these people. It makes me realize that the only kind of people who could ever have a crush on me are the people who have a crush on Everyone with pretty much no standards. I guess I’m just not worth loving idk. Just stuff to think about as I proceed to starve myself for the next month so one day maybe I’ll be good enough for someone.

I may be messed up in a whole lotta ways but everyday I thank the ana gods that I legitimately love green tea.

Even though I hate going to the grocery store, I hate it even more when other people try to shop for me. like I want the almond milk that’s 30 cals a cup and you are just gonna be picking up the one you think tastes the best. like… bitch I ain’t out here for flavor give me my nasty watered down almond juice itS oNlY 30 cAlS

Absolutely no one:

My stomach in the middle of class: FEEDME

Like shut up ho, we had celery 2 days ago. why you gotta be so needy???

Friend: Hey do you want to hang out?

Me: Sure!

*hanging out*
Friend: I’m making pizza for dinner.

Me:

 i had a 200 cal mini pizza thing ( i fasted for 36 hours before that )  and now im fasting until my god sister leaves tomorrow so ye wish me luck   and 350 cal rice cakes 550

cw : 134.7 lbs 

YALL I MADE AN ANA TIKTOK AND THE FIRST VIDEO WENT SOMEWHAT VIRAL!!

HELP

I been chewing and spitting my food. Can someone tell me their experiences with this? What % of calories you consume with chewing/spitting? Does it save a lot of calories? Anything and any knowledge will help :).

Body check. I hate it. :,)

I wonder how many calories/pounds I saved by spitting out my food

✨Reblog if your an active ED tumblr account (Feb 2021)✨

Reblog or comment if you are an active ED account :) my lst account got terminated and I need new peers ✨