In the midst of any shitty stuff going on have some good news :)

i’m back and definetly not doing better than ever

last few days have been on my period and been having a hard few days

i feel numb.

i wish i can go back and to tell myself to stop eating.

day 4: felt so drained today, woke up at 6 cause i had a class at 8 and then my first meal was at 1 and testerday i had dinner around 8pm, so that means i technically did a 17 hour fast¿?¿

wow i didn’t know it was that long until now and ngl i feel pretty great about that. haven’t done a fast in ages, let alone one that lasted that long

oh ya and today was the first time that i had a single-serve meal and i was full after it!! like full to the point that when i was asked if i wanted seconds i said no right away!! like usually i would say yes, then realize taht i shouldn’t and then decline later. but today’s reaction was so quick i felt so good!!!

so today was a very good day

not sure if this will help anyone, but a small little trick that i use to help me go to sleep faster when i’m hungry: i drink so much water til the point that my stomach hurts and then i fall asleep faster cause u sleep faster on a full stomach.

idrk is that made any sense but ya

day 3: had a peanut butter sandwich, an apple and apple sauce and a granola bar

weighed myself and i’m 165 about 2-3 pounds to go before monday

day two: not so bad but don’t feel as great about it as i did yesterday. and it’s only day two fml. gotta keep going.

two months of work will be so rewarding at the end

2/5/20

Me trying to get the people at the ED clinic to leave me alone:

Seriously though, I’m being forced to try to recover but I really don’t fucking want to. It’s hard cuz my family watches me eat dinner. I know this is probably gonna sound unhealthy but if anyone has any tips for how to eat less w/ them around plz lmk. I’ve gained 3 lbs already and right now, eating is just another reason for me to die.

G️ what anyone says, bones are hotand I want mine to be ✨visible✨

Me: *has a mild misunderstanding with my family about an unimportant thing that wont even matter in a couple of hours*

Also me: tHis wouLdNt HaVe hAppEneD if I wAs sKinnY aNd nOw tHeY hAte mE beCaUsE iM a fAt pieCe oF sHit

Wanna hear something pathetic?

I want to be a soldier. That requires me to be physically and mentally strong. Because of my disorder, I’m neither.

What a fuckin joke.

Tell me why I gained 7 POUNDS after 1 FRICKING BINGE. Are u serious rn?? It took me a week and a half to lose it and I gain it back in ONE DAY???

Someones trying to set me up.