I bet everybody here is fake happy too

A bitch is gonna recover!!! Fuck this lmao I’m sick of a malnourished body and not having any energy!!!! What the fuck is ‘not good enough’? Bitch I’ll kill you!!!!! I have no idea where this motivation came from but here we go ladiesssss!!!!! If I’m gonna get that boss bitch lifestyle I can’t have an ed!!! Shits embarrassing!!! Gonna get that education, good mental health and a nice body to FEEL good not to LOOK good!!! Fuck societal beauty standards!!!! I’m HOT and SMART and AMBITIOUS!!! I don’t want to spend my teen years being miserable!!! Catch me being That Bitch and getting my shit together!!!

Might fuck around and recover haha who knows

In addition to my last post, here are some pictures for reference of ladies I would sell my soul to look like

I’m so fat

Mi sento cosí male

small-asf:

Don’t eat this right now

Really, don’t do it. You have just eaten, you are full. Did you know your stomach is as big as your fist? It can’t carry more, don’t push it. Check the calories. Are they more than 150? If not, take it with you. Don’t touch it unless your stomach needs it, when you feel light pains in it. If the calories are over 150, don’t eat this. Search for something else.

Also, drink water. Maybe it will cure your cravings and it will fill your stomach more.

Just, don’t eat this right now, please

Ma stiamo scherzando? Gente che va a dire “non mangiare” a sconosciuti? Ma veramente?

Vorrei che queste persone si trovassero faccia a faccia con le persone a cui stanno distruggendo la vita facendo così.

-

Seriously? People that say “don’t eat” at stranger? Really?

I wish those people find themselves face to face whit the people they are ruining life acting like this.

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Skinny

Jan 15 body check

Today was the first time I saw my boyfriend since he has to quarantine for Covid.

I lost 15 pounds in those two weeks and I thought he wouldn’t notice but he’s called me tiny like 6 times and he told me I look skinny

I ate normally today because I didn’t want him to be sus to I’ll just have to work it off when he’s sleeping or something

It’s impossible to imagine myself as thin as these models in my thinspos :(

09.01.21 update

Fasted all day and exercised by stationary cycling for and hour and a half, burned about 700 cals :)

Total intake: -700cals

My bf sent me this and idk how to feel. He doesn’t know ab my ed.

Ok so I have exams at the moment and since I couldn’t be in my dorm during summer (long story) I’m staying with some friends for a while. Problem is I’m having the worst relapse I’ve had in years and they keep commenting on the ‘meals’ I’m making. This whole week I’ve managed to avoided eating their meals but this evening they forced me to eat lasagna with them because it was too much and otherwise they’d have to throw it out. I connected with my inner raccoon and dug the package out of the trash so I do know it’s 141kcal for 100g but they don’t have a scale so I have no idea how much I had and it’s bothering me so much. I think it might have been around 200g but not knowing is giving me so much anxiety while I should be studying for my exam tomorrow. I fucked up my exams last semester because of my ED and I’m terrified it’s gonna happen again

Ok that’s the entire rant

Me: slowly recovering

My roommate: slips up and accidentally tells us all she has an eating disorder

Me:

Me: can we get mcdonalds?

My ed: no we have food at home

Food at home:

I can’t believe I got into uni when I’m this stupid. I’m hungover in class rn because I went out drinking last night (on an empty stomach) and all I’ve had today was a lot of coffee. I’m shaking so hard I could be a fucking vibrator.

Disclaimer: I’m not doing this to brag. I know how lonely an ED can be and I just want to show people that they’re not alone. Feel free to contact me anytime, we don’t even have to talk about anything ED related

1) 50kg

2) between 40kg and 45kg

3) anorexia subtype b&p (diagnosed)

4) it’s unclear when exactly it started because I had ED behaviour from a very young age but at the time I had no idea it was a thing, so I’d say since I was about 11 (this is when I started doing it consciously)

5) self fulfilling prophecy - Maria Mena

6) more than I’d like to admit

7) not really, though I do drink it

8) love it

9) no but I do try to have at least one vegetarian/vegan meal a week

10) grapes

11) basically any fast food, it just makes me binge so bad

12) my friends and parents knew but they don’t know I’ve relapsed, at the moment only my boyfriend and one of my friends know

13) nope

14) I’m in uni

15) 20

16) 32/34 eu size

17) yep

18) no but I’m a supporter