getting everything physical except weight loss

squatting while trying to force myself to poo is not where I saw myself at 24 tbh

my friends at work are now no longer speaking to me over my notice but like they’re short staffed so like I ain’t really sure how cutting me out is going to make me want to stay when they know the reason why is my ED especially

feel like food is the only thing I’ve got control over rn and I can’t even starve myself correctly lmao

anyone else just like take mega long baths to avoid eating?? my housemate must think I’m a fucking fish

my work are so supportive in getting me help and then I’m just like lol no x

I’ve got work in 43 minutes and I’m in a vegan low calorie wormhole lol

ngl not eating after 7pm is working wonders for me atm x

moved in with my friend and there’s something rlly satisfying about declining food when they offer it

POV: u get invited to something but it will mess with your set eating times/ fast/ weekly binge and purge x

gonna treat myself to so many clothes when I go down a size - don’t think my bank account is ready

I forgot to log yday :( but here’s a rundown

Breakfast: skip/coffee

Lunch: salad (cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, avocado feta, mint, and cilantro)

Small piece of chicharon, the way my mom fries it she renders almost all of the fat out until it’s practically porn rinds lol

A small bowl of beans and collard greens

450~650 calories

Dinner:

3 tortillas, two eggs, some refried black beans, feta, sour cream and my homemade hot salsa

580 calories

Total 1030-1230 calories

My intake was a little higher yday I was under 1000 for ten days. I definitely feel hungrier when I eat more lmao which is so weird. But my body has gotten used to eating less pretty quickly. Hope fully it lasts and I’m not having crazy cravings in a few days :| but I think treating myself every few days is rly helpful in maintaining focus. One day of a few bits of comfort food every few days isn’t going to stop my progress overall. I do feel kinda guilty tho :| I wish I didn’t but I do.

Fooood Diary:

Breakfast: skip/black coffee

Lunch: 100g turkey meat, 100g rice & peas, 1 cup cucumber & tomato salad

289 cal

Dinner: Shrimp& cucumber salad!

- 100g shrimp, 50g cucumber, sliced onion, cilantro, chili vinegar (w a tsp of honey, and a few drops of sesame oil)

Bibigo steamed dumplings w a few drops of Sichuan chili oil

383 cal

Total: 672 calories

i have been eating in a calorie defit lately and i think i’m bloated? i’ve definitely lost weight i see it in my collar bones and legs but my lower belly is bigger than usual. can’t wait till my body gets used to it and it goes away

i’m about to go on anxiety medication in like a week. no idea what the name is yet but does anyone have experience with losing/gaining weight from anxiety based medication??

some fear foods that I have:

peanut butter (more than 1 tbsp)

cereal (makes me bloat)

dairy milk

donuts

granola

pancakes

white bread

chocolate/coconut keto chunks (SO many cal)

soda

any type fast food (besides chipotle)

oil

butter (in large quantity)

cake

any meat that’s not lean/healthy

orange juice

pizza

sugary energy drinks

syrup

fried shrimp

mozzarella sticks

box mac n cheese

yogurt (low fat greek yogurt safe tho)

coffee creamer

salad dressing

frosting

oreos

i have problems :)))

Fucked up to be happy when you’re sick bc you’re not hungry, food disgusts you, got nausea and you shit all the time

I’m a tired wreck but at least I’m losing weight right ?

I wonder

Every time I see a very skinny person (like they could be bonespo and seem to have a bmi <14), I wonder.

Do they suffer from an ed like me ?

Are they upset of seeing /smelling food when walking in the city like me ?

Is their life a mess regulated by restriction, thinking about food/calories and how to avoid events like me ?

Do they hate their body to the point of slowly killing it like me ?

I’m jealous bc I want their skinny, bony, sick body.

And I’m saddened by the fact they may have an ed and therefore I know too the painful struggles that life has become.

Mom : you’ve lost weight since the last time I saw you (1 week ago) that’s great! What did you do ?

Me *have been fasting for 1 whole week and exercised every day* : I just did a few workouts you know, nothing much

Thanks for promoting weight loss to your child even tho they are at a healthy weight and suffered from anorexia and binge eating for the 2 past years

What’s the best way to lose weight fast ?

Is it by fasting 3 to 5 days several times in a month and restricting <500 cals the other days? (and also exercising every single day)

Or is it by restricting <500 cals every day and also exercising?

Does “starvation mode” really exist? Is it possible that you lose more weight by eating daily but restricting than fasting/restricting?

I need help and advice please

Oh. I really want to die rn. I can’t stand it.

I haven’t eaten for 5 days, the week before I ate small amounts and low cal. I exercised.

I just have weighed myself. I’m 58kg (128 lbs)

I thought I’d be at least at 55kg (121 lbs). It seems that no matter how little I eat I don’t lose.

My parents will go on vacation 20 days so I’m planning to fast at least 15 days in total. And I’m prolonging my ongoing 110h fast to a 165h one.

I want to have sex/intime relation but I’m too insecure and hate my body

And I’d like to have penetrative sex but it scares me, so I was wondering why, and figured out it may be linked to my fear/disgust of things (food) entering my body

So here’s another side effect of my ed on my life :)

Skyr y'all

One of my safest food ever, and I think this yogurt is really underrated and deserves recognition

Very low fat, low cal, high protein yogurt

~ 50 cal / 100g

~ 20g protein / 100g

Comes in fruity/vanilla flavors (good for sweet cravings, breakfast, snack, overnight oats)

Or just plain (good to avoid binges while having protein, healthy dip with veggies, low cal dressing, anything)

You can buy it in 100g tub so it’s a perfect portion, or in big pot!

When I was really underweight and my parents would keep a close eye on what I ate, they never suspected it to be an “Ana food” bc it’s not labeled as “low cal” or “0%” or “diet”

I said I wanted to gain muscle mass and protein was good, so I was allowed to eat them :)

when asked what superpower I would chose, I always say shape-shifting

but it’s really just bc it means I could change my body in a skinnier and prettier one

Does smoking cigarettes really help suppressing appetite ?

Asking for a friend ;)

Using body checks of myself pre-recovery as thinspo hits different I can’t even

Ana Accountability (01.21.22)

Morning:

12 fl oz can Mountain Dew Major Melon, 160cal

Tyson Any'tizers Buffalo Style Hot Wings (unmeasured), ~190cal

Subtotal: ~350cal

-

Afternoon:

1 banana (unmeasured), ~110cal

12 fl oz Arizona Diet Half & Half Tea Lemonade, 10cal

Wrigley’s Extra Polar Ice Gum, 5cal

Monster Pops Lemon Lime popsicle, 60cal

Subtotal: ~185cal

-

Evening:

Wendy’s medium fries, 350cal

Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich, 500cal

Wendy’s medium (~20 fl oz) Coke Zero, 0cal

Beef lo mein, ???cal

Egg fried rice, ???cal

Subtotal: 850cal+

-

Total Caloric Intake: ????cal (1,380cal+)

-

Not me failing at high restriction. I was aiming to limit myself to 1,500cal at most, but of course one of my parents has to suddenly decided to bring Chinese takeout home for everybody on the day I start trying to do daily accountability posts again. I guess I should have expected to fuck up the first day back when it’s been quite a while since I actually starved myself anyways. Oh well, I won’t let this stop me from trying to restrict tomorrow or the day after. I’m sure it won’t be long until I start getting restless and begin naturally restricting more and more as time goes on also.

Also, I apologize to anyone that finds the formatting of this post kind of ugly; I’ve never really known how to make my daily accountability posts look particularly nice and neat.

Okay, I think I need to start doing accountability posts on here, because otherwise I’ll never lose weight on my own. I feel like if there’s other eyes on the numbers, I might feel pressure to keep the numbers down even if no one is forcing me.

I don’t really know what format to go with though. Either I do my old ana log format from before or I update every time I consume something. Or maybe both? I’m reallyyy unsure because it’s been a while since I posted anything having to do with me actually restricting at all.

OMFGGGGG. I NEED NEED NEEEEED to lose weight to make a pretty girl like me. PLEASEEEE let me gain some motivation to starve again finally.

the severely mentally ill urge to date someone equally mentally ill or with the same illnesses so i get worse just from being with them

Any grown mentally ill bitches from EDblr wanna be in an unhealthy friendship where we never shut up?

I’m a 23-year-old (gender-questioning) AFAB bi/queer, I’m dx with ADHD and BPD, and I’m (objectively) fat with a dead ED blog, lol.

Uhhh… Does someone around my age wanna be fasting buddies because I need someone to hold my hand or else I will crack and eat?

Okay, I need to start starving myself again ASAP, if not because I’m simply fucked up, because a hot girl on a dating app asked if we could meet up at some time.

Sooo…

I’m back to this blog! I doubt my stay will be any more permanent than the last few times, but I guess I just wanted to provide a little update on myself.

In terms of my weight, things aren’t going very well. :( I’ve been sort of fluctuating and even going higher that what I would normally consider my base weight. I’m not sure exactly what is causing this; my best guess is that it could be stress. I haven’t even been weighing myself the past several weeks because it’s just too depressing for me to have to see the numbers going up.

In terms of my mental health, well… It depends on the day, or maybe even the hour. I’ve been stressing over work along with my regular anxieties. Though recently I haven’t been working due to illness (I’m pretty sure it’s not Covid but I still kind of want to get tested just in case). I’ve also recently gone on SSRI medication for anxiety, specifically generic Zoloft. I was honestly hoping to be put on a stimulant like Adderall or Vyvanse for my ADHD so that I could lose weight from it, but oh well, I guess. I can only do so much to control what my psychiatrist chooses to prescribe me. As much as I tried to put emphasis on my ADHD, I guess it was a bit more apparent(?) how much my anxiety was weighing on me.