#love hurts
There is this feeling I get after my heart breaks, metaphorically of course, I do know hearts are muscles and do not break, but when something that felt so real and so infinite ends, I cannot help but feel like my body is physically hurt.
It feels like my ribs are breaking, one after another, in different spots and they keep breaking and breaking, putting more and more pressure on my chest, making it impossible to breathe. I feel the air coming through my nose and never making it down my windpipe because it is being crushed by my chest collapsing into itself. There is sharp pain in my throat when air touches it and soon I cannot breathe at all. My eyes hurt, they are bloodshot, bleeding, blood dripping down my face onto the ground and it hurts. My body is shaking and there is no way to stop it, it moves with every inhale and exhale and even when my chest is broken down and barely gets air through, my body still shakes, my muscles keep cramping, contracting stronger and faster and at some point, my body does not handle it any more. It shuts down.
Then a new kind of pain begins. There is a headache I can feel right in the center of my forehead. It starts there, where the emotions are controlled, it starts where everything started to fall apart. If feels like every single cell there is shutting down, either dying or slowly burning to death. It almost feels like needles stabbing every single one of them, making the brain unable to control whatever is going on. It moves up and affects my thinking, making me believe there is nothing left for me in the world, making me believe, there is no plan, no future.The pain spreads to the top of my head, makes it unable to move, makes my whole body hurt again, all the ribs breaking, the body shaking, now it gets worse. It affects the vision and makes it even blurrier and all I see is him in front of me, everywhere I look and that hurts even more.
After my whole brain feels like it is bleeding out and being torn apart, the last part of brain starts to hurt. The little piece of where every perfect memory is stored, where memories of first dates, kisses, ‘I love you’s and so much more, live, that is the part that hurts the most. This little part is the main reason the whole brain is hurting, the only reason my body is breaking. The memory of perfect little moments of time we shared is why breakups make me think there is something physically wrong with me when it happens, because it does affect my whole body, it affects every cell that lives inside me and all of them start hurting at the same time.
Don’t allow someone to treat you poorly just because you love them.
i hate when you want to talk about something that’s bothering you but you feel like you’ve already talked about it too much so you just hold it in…
He told her to jump promising that he’d catch her but as soon as she started to fall he was already turning around.
i don’t regret us, but i wouldn’t do it again. i couldn’t bare to to through that pain again.
People constantly say, “if i could, i would feel nothing,
it’s the truth and i don’t care” but the truth is, I would choose to feel the pain of heartbreak for the rest of my being just to spend one last night with you.
Happier days
I love you to the point where every time you smile it hurts because I’m not the reason behind it. I no longer have strength because every time I see you I go weak. And honestly, it kills me that I take up 1% of your world and you are 99% of mine.
Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same.
feelings hit you sooo much harder at night
I loved you so much. Then why among all of ‘em am I the only one whom you ignore?
when you go in for the kiss and get slapped instead
He told me smoking was bad for me, I never thought he would turn out to be worse. He was the type of person that got stuck, not only in my head, but in my veins too. The type I wrote poetry about, but wouldn’t introduce to my parents. He lit a fire inside of me, and then left me to burn out. I didn’t need to kiss him to feel the sparks, every time his fingertips brushed across my skin, my heart would race like a Maserati. My skin erupted in goose bumps, and my stomach filled with butterflies. And every time his lips met mine, I felt like I was on ecstasy. He was the closest thing to love I ever felt, and now that he’s gone I don’t want to feel it again. When he kissed me for the last time, my heart felt this loneliness; I still haven’t recovered from it.
- an illicit affair
He put his arms at each side of her head so she was tackled on the lockers. She couldn’t look at him in the eyes, feeling too much pressure in this position.
“How can you pretend I broke you when you’re the one who did shit?
-Because if we count the shit I did, let’s count the 7 monthes we had when I was the greatest girlfriend you’ll ever had, when I was doing everything I could just to see you happy, when I was giving you everything to be better for you. It’s so easy to remember the bad things and forget all the good.
-How can you… I…
-Sht, don’t say anything.”
She finally let her eyes swim inside his, but this time she had a look different, it wasn’t broken, it was empty. So he removed his hands as she was literally crushing him and said.
“You want me? Okay then, come and find me.”
And gave him a piece of paper.
-6708 rue Saint Laurent-
00:00
20$
-Welcome to my world-
“I can’t.
-Then stay away from me.”
She smiled and left again, leaving him one more time with nothing else to add.
He kissed her, and she let him do it. She even kissed hi, back, slowly, as if she was enjoying the kiss, and maybe she was. It looked like if it was lasting so long, even if it was happening so fat. And when the kiss stopped, she whispered, like she never wanted to say it, like she was forced.
“We can’t do this.”
And the, she opened her eyes, looking at his with the most broken look he ever saw.
“Why? He whispered at his turn.
-Because, I didn’t change, I just got worst.
-I know.
-Because, honestly, you totally fucked me up, and you broke me like hell. I can’t let that happen anymore. I can’t let you take everything I built since you left and destroy it.”
He looked at her sadly, and couldn’t find anything to say. So she stood up, and left as he was still looking at her, trying to find something to make her stay.
“I loved you, so much. I loved you wih the only good part of me, and now it’s gone. You took it with you when you left, and I never found any good parts in myself anymore.
-Maybe… Maybe I can give it back.
-No, you cant’. Because it won’t ever be mine anymore. And I can’t accept to be attached to you harder than I used to be. I’d rather live bad forever, then only live good when I’m with you. Because no matter how good you can make me, I will always be bad inside, and I’ll always fuck everything up. I can’t let you, let happiness destroy me anymore.”
“I want to take a break.
-WHAT?! Why…?
-I won’t lie to you, I’m not a bitch anymore, so please don’t be mad. Last night, a friend told me he loved me and…. I hesitate. I shouldn’t have. So…
-Who? Who the fuck was he?!
-I can’t tell, I’m sorry. So I realized I wasn’t sure of my feelings anymore. And I need to think about this if I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
