#mental health matters
She grounded my chaos
Saw the storm and said
“I am not afraid!”
Told her that it might suck her in
She said “I won’t let it.”
Was worried she’d try to tame it
Instead, she grabbed my hand
She held it as we watched the storm go by
“You are not alone in this.”
We were like gold
Until you were told
I needed basic respect
Then, you sold us down the river
Said our love was worth its weight in gold
So, you cashed it in for profit
But, there were no takers
And you’re still the victim, it seems!
My thoughts are chaos, especially when I am trying to put pen to paper. Writing them down allows me to organize them neatly, but the problem is now that I want to make them perfect. Perfect! Wow, will I ever be over the perfectionism bullshit? Oh wow it’s getting hot, gotta roll up my sleeves. Do I have anything left worth saying? Stop that, your words mean something you dumb fuck. Potato. Well, maybe except that one. I like the flowers on top of my notebook. I hope I don’t ruin the pages. Have I written enough? Should I write more? You’re fine! Oh shoot, it’s still hot. I guess I’ll go to bed.
Anxious.
Anxiety.
Quiet thee, brain!
Commotion!
Devotion to the chaos
Endless thoughts
Can’t seem to
Hold onto one
Yet they make me
Nervous!
Do I deserve this?
Disservice!
It is that I exist this way
Instead of being a productive machine!
Demeaning words
Brain says more
Demeaning words
How do I sort through this shit
When my brain is constantly
Throwing
A
Fit.
Jumping
Can’t just sit
Agitated, I’m
Ill-fated
Destined for the world to collapse
Around me.
…yippee.
I found myself waiting to be told to begin this assignment. When I heard that we should have already been starting this assignment, I immediately felt overwhelmed. I am behind. I am going to fail this entire class. You know, the usual anxious anxiety thoughts of anxiousness. I wonder what it’s like to not immediately spiral into anxiety lol. I wish I had tea, but I’m stuck in this lab since I didn’t have time to go home. This hard, stiff chair isn’t exactly the epitome of comfort. I guess I just have to do my best to make do with what I’ve got.
Pretty bold of you to say that I’m overreacting
Would only acknowledge my bleeding
Accompanied by blood curdling screaming!
Because it began to stain your clothes
Left me to rot…
While you bought a new shirt.
Said it was a pity I died!
But, I’ve survived worse.
Told me I was miserable when I was getting better
Because I wouldn’t let the gaslighting comments just
Roll.
Off.
My.
Back.
You didn’t understand why they were no longer keeping me warm
When they never kept me warm. At all.
I’d rather be comforted by hell’s embrace!
At least hell is honest with its intentions.
Brain fog
Foggy fogginess
want to do things but thoughts are
mush.
Completing sentences is hard
Because the words are out
Of
Reach
Floating in the fog
mush.
Productive
Be productive
You can be self-destructive
As long as it’s not on the clock
Destroy yourself
You want to sell yourself to the highest bidder
But they barely give you enough to live
Thriving is for those who have it destined in their blood
and are hungry for the blood of others!
Trying too hard to write something perfect
None of my words belong on the page
Maybe that means I should write something
But even as I am writing this, I know I could do better
I should do better
I…can’t do better, can I?
Incoherency is the cost
Of me trying to write when I am not in the zen state of mind
Does my writing mean anything if
it’s jumbled? Does it mean anything if I don’t entirely understand what I was trying to say?
I… maybe I should…
Stop.
But my thoughts keep racing
Do they matter?
I think they do.
I know they do.
Reblog this with human things you find beautiful
• When people smile so wide, creases appear on their face. It’s like they’re so happy that they can’t keep it in
• Tanlines and age spots and freckles and scars and stretch marks and acne. Chapped lips, bleary eyes, broken nails, split ends. Anything that marks us as human and vulnerable and brave.
• h a n d s
• A stomach that has lots of rolls or none at all!!!!! It makes me so happy to think that that’s the place where your favourite foods are!!!!!!
It’s 2020, it’s time to stop putting so much importance and value on physical beauty. What is beauty, anyway? Everyone has a different definition of it. Stop judging others and stop judging yourself for their beauty not fitting into your version of it.
WE are beautiful and WE are radiant and no I don’t accept criticism
The best part of adulthood that no one ever talks about is that you can just make brownies whenever you want brownies. Truly incredible.
Some days are heavier than others, that’s okay. Give yourself grace to rest when needed, cry when needed, and laugh at the mess of the world when needed.
May you live an existence that doesn’t require constant resilience.
Productivity is NOT more important than your wellbeing. Getting things done is NOT more important than your health, physical or mental.
Capitalism teaches us that we have to produce to have worth, to deserve life. WE DO NOT. Every person has intrinsic value, no matter how much, how often, how efficiently you produce something “valuable.”
Your wellbeing is more important than whatever nonsense capitalism tries to brainwash us with to benefit a few rich individuals who manipulate our communities. You matter more.
[ID: Birds-eye view of a pinecone on wood. Right-justified white text with a black shadow reads “productivity is NOT more important than your wellbeing” down the right side. The TEP logo is in the bottom left corner.]
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