i don’t get it, i either can’t get food out of my mind or i can’t get the guilt i feel because i ate out of my mind.

pics from earlier idk if i should post more like this or not?

Throwback to the time I told a close friend I was anorexic and they said, “you don’t look anorexic.”

Still fucking hurts

Pushed myself to do the laundry, 2 phone calls, 5 assignments, eat something and shower in the same day !!

Some years ago I was a straight A student, I was motivated and successful in everything I was doing, now I’m accumulating B’s, I barely get out of my house and I stress over everything so much I end up failing or not doing it at all lmao wft went wrong

What did you get with the money grandma gave you??

Psychologist: based on how you are feeling and how you are eating… You might have relapsed….

My side profile is like O

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No thoughts just hello kitty ice cubes and crying

Oh so I’m fat ?

Then how does it feel to see your favorite shorts you wore when you were 10 fall down my legs auntie ☺️?

I’m currently on the school bus and a kid keeps yelling tommyinnit…. I hate children, they ruin everything

My cousin just said I was being a ‘Kyle’ because I drink monster

Interact with this post for a follow back!!!

( I’ll probably not follow everybody, tbh I only follow ppl who actually post and are active and stuff….)

Calories today: 830 (it was one meal )

Note: I get bloated every time I eat and I hate it so today I ate once at lunch and then decided to go the rest of the day without anything.

I feel bloated and I only ate at lunch…. ima die ✌️

My mom told me I shouldn’t eat all the time, I literally don’t…. omfg

Mom: *literally says nothing*

Me: “DO YOU THINK IM FAT?!”

I just remember on Tuesday I picked some Easter flowers for my mom and she didn’t care lol. She’s like super depressed, idk why and I kinda accidentally told her she’s the reason I have issues…

I’m getting a puppy!!! Idk what to name her tho… if you want you should give me suggestions ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

I hate how my brain thinks that I’ll automatically see a difference after only two days of restricting… ughhhhh

Grocery list:

Dum Dum Suckers: 20 cal per sucker

Lifesaver Mints: 40 cal per 5 pieces

Extra Mint gum: 5 cal per stick

(I put them in the freezer) Grapes: 3.4 cal in one single grape

Progresso light soup: 130 cal per can

Dole fruit bars: 90 cal

Gerber puffs cereal snack: 25 cal per 60 pieces

Quaker rice cakes: 60 cal per one rice cake

Diet coke: 0 cal

Pickles: 0 cal

Cauliflower steamer bag: 20 cal per cup

bonesandsatan:

•About My Blog•

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Thanks for reading and I hope you have a good day!!

*About me*

Pronouns: She/They

Name: Ry

Age: 16

Zodiac sign: Capricorn

Stats:

Height: 5’3 or 5’4

Sw: 136lbs

Cw: 128lbs

Gw1: 127lbs

Gw2: 120lbs

Gw3: 116lbs

Gw4: 110lbs

Gw5: 107lbs

Ugw: 100lbs

TW:

My mom and stepdad are getting divorced and we can’t pay for things like we normally do. Recently I’ve been able to eat two meals without completely hating myself and I don’t look at calories often. My mother got mad at me for asking what was for dinner (she hasn’t cooked in a month so idk why I even ask, so I’ve been cooking myself or eating junk from fast food places which makes me hate myself a bit) and she said I should just eat at school because that’s what it’s for… school lunch is gross tho. I’m scared that I’m about to start starving myself more then I normally do because of our new financial situation and because of a snarky comment towards me for wanting to not completely go hungry. My ed most definitely is gonna be petty and make me not eat anything more then a 100-200 something calories for awhile, while I usually eat 500-600 something.

P.s I think she thinks I’m fat because I prioritize dinner…. :(

Idek why I post anymore lmao… I miss my old account

*Me trying to explain my ways of thinking to my dad and why racism and homophobia is unjustifiable*

My dad: “but everybody is entitled to their opinion”

Me:

Pick me boys saying shit like:

Please stop cutting for me

Why are you depressed? I thought I made you happy…

Stop starving yourself for me

Just ate dinner and my stomach hurts so bad… Annnnyyyyywayyyyss I’m watching falcon and the winter soldier right now

TW ED:

My power went out three times this morning. Idek why, because the weather isn’t that bad. Anyways I did some homework and tried to practice drawing. I’m kinda hungry now but I looked at some meals I have and one would be 300cal and the other is 100cal but the 300cal meal will taste better then the 100cal one but I’m scared I’ll binge if I eat it. I’ll probably just make some broth to go with for some reasons it stops me from binging.

Me and other ppl in the ed community:

“Don’t starve yourself! You deserve to eat!!!”

Also us: *starving ourselves*

1: Tomorrow is a remote day because the school decided to deep clean since everybody is getting covid.

2: I finally started to drink the zero ultra monster my mom got me. It taste kinda like medicine but you get used to it after awhile…

(ED TALK)TW:

3: I’ve been having a hard time restricting for some reason. My brain always wants me to restrict every chance I get but I’ve tried blocking it out I guess. Most people would look at what I eat in a day and be like: that’s a normal amount. But I literally feel like I eat too much. I still have thoughts about how I wouldn’t be fat if I just tried harder but it’s honestly not as bad as it was a month ago. I go up and down with this stuff and when I start restricting <I restrict hard> and will loose a lot of weight in a week or two. I’m not bad right now and I’m glad for that but I know that’ll end soon since I’ve been stressed out lately and don’t know how to cope properly.