TW - Suicide mention, self harm mention, eating disorder mention, depression/anxiety mention.

I want opinions off people who don’t know me in real life and therefore can’t be biased, so if you can be bothered then let me know what you think!!!

Question: Is it bad of me to get into a relationship when my mental health is complete and utter trash?

Now when I say this I mean it’s really really bad and like I don’t know if I’ll be alive most days which I think is really unfair on a person I’d be potentially dating. My issue is that I feel like I can’t tell the guy I’m talking to that we should stop before it gets any more serious because I’m mentally unstable, because I feel like it sounds like an excuse? It’s not, it’s literally true but I don’t want him to think I’m backing out for any other reason other than the fact I don’t think it’s fair to make him deal with my bullshit when I don’t even know how to deal with my bullshit? And not just my eating disorder but also my depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and self harm. It’s all a lot to handle and it’s very bad rn. What do you think? Am I doing the right thing in telling him we can’t be together? Or am I fucking things up for no reason?

Obwohl ich mit der Essstörung schon am Abgrund stand, schon einmal die Entscheidung zwischen leben und sterben treffen musste, kann ich sie nicht komplett loslassen und sehne mich nach der Zeit, wo ich dünn war und mein Magen knurrte.

School life

Teacher: “you look hungry, where’s your lunch?”

Me: *sips my black coffee* “… I already ate”

So my mom is doing like a two week fast with a break in between for Christmas dinner. Which means my dad is going to be in charge of dinner, which means getting food delivered to eat and not eating together at the kitchen table. This is my chance to skip dinner as much as I please, and secretly fast with my mom.

CAUSE IM ANOREXIC MY GUY WHY ELSE LMFAOOOO

never ending cycle

IM GONNA KILL MYSELFFFFFFF YEAH YEAHHHHHY

anorexia made me crazy but the bones r worth it

when i wanna cry i just go on tumblr and look at my collarbone n then all of a sudden everything’s alright

i’m going to kill myself ( affirmation )

i love cassie cause she’s JUST LIKE ME, likes yes girl i have anorexia n self murder thoughts too n go for horrible ppl too n want to run away to nyc too like yassss

having anorexia is so funny like ur telling me when im at my **technical** worst im having the most fun ever cause im skinny? like yes ik im doing technically HORRIBLE rn but im having fun at the same time

i’ve been losing weight like crazy n i can tell even physically n it’s AMAZINGGGG i’ve yelled from excitement soooo many times

LIKE OMGGGG I CAN SEE MY ARMS BONES N MY COLLARBONES R SOOOO NOTICABLE N U CAN SEE MY RIBCAGE + HIPBONES WHEN IM LAYING DOEN THIS IS AMAZINGGGGG

my bf sending me hugs in the obimy app cause i changed my mood to ok like thanks dude! i’m still gonna kms tho!!

Ed starter pack

When someone asks to borrow my phone, im just PRAYING that tumblr isn’t visible in any way, shape or form, and also feeling like this✨

If you’re on my page to trigger yourself:

First of all, i feel ya.

Secondly, DON’T. You won’t find what you’re looking for and i do not support your choice to feed your eating disorder instead of your body.

Some random person hearing about my ed: oh no! Won’t you stop starving yourself, for me?

Like do you really think you’re gonna stop me after having this disorder for years- It’s a mental illness, i can’t just stop. It can’t be controlled.

Am i the only one who is kind of scared when i open tumblr? I just know it’s gotten bad again, and i can’t stop it. I tried so hard, but i just keep coming back to where i was before. I feel like this will never end. I’ll be like this for the rest of my life.