#bpd vent
My existence is not for him or anyone else this is my life and I’m not going to worry about every little thing he has ever done in the past
Wow it’s like the universe wants me to kill myself
I almost broke up with my boyfriend then I had a mood swing and fell back In love. Life is good again and I realized I was a dummy for thinking he hated me. This ginger boy really got me planning a wedding smh
Waiting for that mood swing to hit so I can start feeling like life is beautiful again
I need someone to love me through my darkest moments when I’m angry and I can’t feel anything but rage. I know it’s toxic to ask for unconditional love when you are far from deserving of it but I need someone to always be there.
I need a long hug and a gentle punch in the face with a chair or something.
i’m sorry
Something that seems big to me, might not seem like a big deal to you, but I am allowed to feel the way I do. Everyone handles things differently.
This is a self portrait I took a couple years ago, for me this is what my mental illness looks like.
It’s Feeling detached from myself, it’s when I don’t even know who I am, its the constant battle inside my head, it’s the 13 hours I was asleep, it’s the monsters inside my head that say I’m better off dead, it’s the inability to cry anymore at something traumatic and then breaking down because I’m hungry. Its feeling everything way to intensely yet not feeling anything at all.
If you have borderline personality disorder or are struggling to control your emotions, try DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) it’s serriously a life saver if you stick with it!
I was 13.. I don’t know why i still feel like i need to protect you. You were 19, you saw my body before it could even fully develop. You never touched me physically, and maybe that’s why i feel like i need to protect you. You drug me along emotionally online for months telling me you loved me, begging me for pictures.. Phone sex and sexting, pictures became the norm, it didn’t feel like love anymore, i felt used. I told you i felt uncomfortable, but you blamed me, it was my fault, i started flirting with you first. You wouldnt even talk to me in public, now i know its because it was illegal. The older i get the more this hurts me, you’d think that the years would make it better, but it only makes it worse. But it was okay, right? Because you “loved” me?
Please like me back
But one thing we should always NOT do , is scold the person.
If you see your bpd person already curled up and having the guts to be open and honest with you about their feelings in a situation when they made a mistake or they are in the wrong, do not scold them about it and point out their mistake like a punitive parent.
because chances are;
we already know all of that. We are already beating outselves in the head with it. Telling ourselves how dumb , how cowardly and how stupid we are for failing. so having a trusted person reflect those feelings to us, is even more destructive to us than hearing it from ourselves.
you truly want to help ?
Give them a hug, a kiss , hold their hand. Lend them an ear, listen atentively. Even if you dont understand what they are going through , listen to their woes.
tell them ”it´s ok to make mistakes” and that “they are strong”. Tell them that you “believe they will do better next time.”
Maybe just, tell them “Things will be ok”
That´s we all need to hear that sometimes.
Do you still feel like your bpd person needs to hear some hard truths?
Make sure you tell them once they are stable, once they can hear the wisdom in your words. Once they dont focus so atentively on all the negativety, and start getting consumed by paranoia. Dont be a punitive person and jump to scolding. Make sure they focus on improving, and not on their failure. Express how you believe they can change and encourage them to, back them up to it. Explain that, this event doesnt change the way you view them. That it doesnt change the fact that you like/love/adore them.
Just because we are sensitive, that should not isent us from hearing what needs to be said. But those precautions are needed.
And not just to people with bpd, we should be gentle to everyone.
Be gentle to those who make mistakes. Be gentle to people that genuingly want to change. Be gentle to those who come to you searching for a shoulder.
Went from trying to sleep as much as I could to escape you for awhile to keeping insanely busy because you’re in my nightmares now.
Artist of art: unsure
If the feeling you get after you eat too much after doing good of not eating or eating very little that day wasn’t bad enough,the feeling of realization of something better you could of eaten instead that’s low in cal/healthy so irritated with myself rn fuck
Imagine how satisfying that will be.
Artist:unknown
Trying to reply to someone you still care about but completely detached from is a challenge I’m currently not winning.
Artist: unknown but full credit goes to them
An agonizing thought is thinking about the people who enjoy going to school to get away from what’s happening to them at home,and being more stuck with their abuser if they’ve been unemployed. My heart and soul goes out to every single one of them,I pray they stay strong and don’t turn to drugs or even worse regardless of what’s happening to them.May things get better.
F A C T S
