#living with bpd
Just gonna stop keeping my hopes up over stuff…
Im sick of being the therapist friend, but i know if im not she’ll commit cause no one else cares about her
Fear of being abandoned ✅
I let my hurt inner child do something bad and now I might be single
I’m on a waiting list right now for my autism screening stuff and I’m very curious as to what is going to happen I hope everything goes well and I can get in
I’m realizing I’ve been depressed since I was a little kid and I thought it was just my personality but now I’m coming out of it and it’s like I’m getting the childhood I never got to have back
I had to call the cops on my mom tonight so they can take her to the mental hospital and not one of my friends or my boyfriend came to help me. Nobody fucking cares even my dad wouldn’t come help take care of his own wife. It’s so quiet and lonely in this house now all by myself I wish the cops never left so I had someone to talk to.
My mom has bipolar disorder and she has psychotic episodes sometimes. It’s be traumatizing growing up taking care of your mother when she acts like this. She can be violent and angry and just attack me suddenly because she believes I’m the devil. I used to have horrible breakdowns myself whenever this happens but recently she is in an episode and I have been doing well. I clean her bedroom and take care of her animals and clean the house and she hasn’t been violent this time around thank god. It’s just very isolating being in a house alone with her. I’m lucky we have a home and I try to remind myself that even if it’s so empty.
I’m so tired I can’t keep taking care of her
It sucks having no friends sometimes. I wanna talk to people and give eachother advice and have fun.
I keep doing bad stuff to myself for his attention I’m just getting worse and I’m gonna push him away but I can’t stop.
I long for a darkness only found in my childhood home. The basement buried deep in the soil surrounded by the forest’s roots. Cold brick walls felt safe when everything else was so scary. The basement was a bomb shelter protecting me from the war happening above. Plates being thrown through the air couldn’t reach me deep in the earth. No hands could touch me when I was cradled by the dirt. I just want to go back
My existence is not for him or anyone else this is my life and I’m not going to worry about every little thing he has ever done in the past
Those days full of uncontrollable volatility just before you disassociate for god knows how long…
Wondering why my mood swing spectrum is always between being chaotic and being melancholic…
Do you think you will ever feel happy ? Truly and unconditionally happy and content… so much so that it will last you a lifetime or for what’s left of it anyway ?
Drinking wine and feeling overwhelmed by the urge to cry for no reason..
“I found a way to erase you from my head, I just need to find my pulse again.”
Original Quote By RumourTalks
“I couldn’t be more fucked up if I tried, - I would kill myself but I’ve already died.”
Original by RumourTalks
You live, you laugh,
You hope, you try.
You do your best,
And then you die.
If you live your life,
then props to you.
But i can’t do the things normal people do.
What do normal people do?
Original poetry by RumourTalks
