#anorexik
I just want my bellybutton to be like
|
Instead of
—
Yanno
*trying to open up about my ed*
‘So do you just like not eat’
me: ‘obviously I eat’
‘Oh that’s good then, I’m glad it’s not serious’
Today my therapist asked me if I was eating okay because he’d ‘noticed I’d lost weight’. Idk why it felt so validating but it did
HIT MY SECOND GW LETS GOOOOOO
Niemand darf erfahren, wie nahe ich dem Rückfall wirklich stehe.
Is anyone at the point where like your still fat but all of a sudden all the skinny people irl you see all the time and you always thing oh they’re so skinny good for them all of a sudden they’re not really that skinny anymore and everything and everyone around you is fat and ugly or is it just me and my body dysmorphia
Porque atragantandome con comida hasta no poder respirar estoy bien
Porque tirando toda mi comida a la basura te digo que estoy bien
Porque mientras me lavo las manos después de vomitar te voy a decir que estoy bien
Con un ataque de ansiedad y luego llorar en el suelo durante dos horas igual te sonrio y estoy bien
Cuando no recuerdo lo que pasó estoy bien
Porque cuando corre mi propia sangre estoy bien
Cuando apreto tan fuerte mis puños hasta que mis uñas quedan marcadas en mis palmas aún estoy bien
Cuando rompo mis cosas estoy bien
Porque a pesar de que me hacen menos con palabras y actos a diario estoy muy bien
Porque a pesar de reírme estoy bien
Cuando los consuelo, los escucho, los abrazo, los ánimo siempre estoy bien
YO SIEMPRE ESTOY BIEN
SIEMPRE ESTOY BIEN
PORQUE SOY FELIZ Y ESTOY BIEN
PORQUE DEBO VERME BIEN Y ESTAR BIEN
omg i just found out why my ex best friends dropped me! it’s because i was being too “negative” all the time (aka depressed and literally suicidal) and she didn’t want to deal with me! because it’s not her responsibility! (her exact words btw) But when she was “depressed” i would talk with her for 2+ hours on the phone to make her feel better. the other one dropped me because me and my family “treated her like a pet” ???? what does that even mean. does she mean when we drove to her house at 10 at night to pick her up because she was having a panic attack? or does she mean the trip i took her on for my birthday? maybe she means when we took care of her for a week when my mom cleaned up her dogs shit and piss all over the floor. It’s like i treat people with the utmost respect and love. then they treat me like i’m some disgusting freak of nature. :P
just asked my guy friend if he wants to hang out with me for the first time (as friends) and he said “ew never” he knows i have no other friends. not gonna eat for the next 3 days. that shit burned. i’m not even attracted to him or anything. i’m just that repulsive i assume.
everything is going downhill lmao
that includes my weight
I fucking hate people that say “omg you need to eat!!” And then in the next breath say “wow you look so pretty now you’ve lost weight!!” which is it BITCH
fuck it.
sw: 246lbs
cw: 230.4lbs
gw: 120lbs
currently eating 1100cal/day
burning approx. 180cal/day
i want to be 222lbs in one month (so the 15th November)
update;
November 17th
cw: 224.4
am exhausted, i did my homework for legit 8 hours yesterday (and there was only one) rip me
anyway, my uncle and his wife will be coming the 10th December and i need to lose like at least 13 pounds bc they’re anoying as fuck, and i know that they’re gonna make comment about the fact that i am fat sooo //:
also i dropped daily intake to 800.
fuck it.
sw: 246lbs
cw: 230.4lbs
gw: 120lbs
currently eating 1100cal/day
burning approx. 180cal/day
i want to be 222lbs in one month (so the 15th November)
Due to personal reasons, I will not be leaving the house, even after quarantine, because I hate my body and I’m ugly
Anyone else have designated ‘crying while body checking’ songs or is that just me…?
When your sister starts trying to lose weight and starts making a million comments about food and calories and not being allowed to eat certain things so now your ED is going insane because you have to be better than her
When you’re going to your friends house soon and the time you’re going over there is after they eat dinner but before your family eats so you can effectively pull the “ill at at my friends house/i ate at home” bullshit
