My lonlieness and anxiety get so unbarable at night. I wish that I can just fall asleep in less than an hour. If I knew that sleep was going to soon take this pain away, I will be able to bare it until then….but when I lay in bed, not knowing if I’m going to fall asleep by the crack of dawn or after the sun rises, I panic. I get over whelmed with fear and sadness knowing that I’m going to have to live through an entire night of emotional pain again. It’s currently 11:34pm and I’m already afraid.
Whenever I’m having a anxiety attack, I find myself scrolling through posts without actually reading them because I’m too busy freaking out inside my mind.
Omg I can’t believe this time next week I will be in LA to watch Thrilling Adventure Hour. I am so excited but freaking out big time. I’m not only going to see the people who have pretty much saved my life, hallublinpaulftompkins Marc Evan Jackson, Mark Gagliardi and Paget Brewster have been the Workjuice players who have made a big difference I really want to say thank you to them. But I’m going to respect the wish of a friend who wanted to see the show but lost the fight with the demons. I have sorted everything out at home for my mum and nephew so they will be sorted but I feel selfish for going and leaving them. I havnt been on holiday for 10yrs so it’s well over due but I’m really nervous, Anxiety is a Bitch. Sending a great big hug to anyone out there who suffers from it. Onwards and upwards. Ok gotta stop the moaning, this washing won’t put itself away.
i haven’t been feeling like myself at all lately. it’s like nothing is real and i can’t ground myself in reality anymore. it’s the scariest feeling ever and even tho i know i’m not the only one experiencing this, i still feel so alone.
A friend has just shown me this app that helps with self harm urges. It gives different options to stop an urge or to distract yourself. It seems really nice and helpful. It’s called Calm Harm. It’s on the Apple Store and Google Play store. I highly recommend those of you who struggle with self harm to try it out.
Discovered today that plant nurseries make everything better. Bought my 4th fern, and I’m planning for a monstera. I’m gonna bury my anxiety and panic in a literal jungle.
