I bought new underwear today but they don’t fit exactly how I wanted them to, so I’m going to try to see if they’ll fit right if I fast for an entire week (Sun-Sat)! Both of my parents are going to be out of town for the entire week too, so I don’t have to worry about any homecooked meals getting in my way!!
I’m gonna drink one last caloric drink before bed and then I’m going to use the toilet and weight myself after I wake up and log my new stats in a reblog of this post. See you guys (whoever sees this, if anyone) then!
Measured my new stats this morning and I wanna die. How’d I let myself reach obese status? I’m definitely making the right decision to fast this week.
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NEW STATS
Height: 5'2" (157cm)
Weight: 165.6lbs (75.1kg)
BF:31.8%
BMI: 30.3 (Obese)
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If things go well, I should be around 153lbs (69.4kg) with a BMI of around 28.0 at the end of my fast. Wish me luck; I’m gonna need it.
Okay, I’m a dumb bitch and keep failing really badly, so I’m changing my plans.
I’m gonna just stick to a few foods to snack on for the next couple of days, no meals or full plates, no cooked or processed food (besides dry cereal and crackers), and my drinks are limited to water, diet soda, and Arizona Lite (obviously that has calories, but I can’t help myself ). Anything outside of the base guidelines has be purged, NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wish I could have the same level of discipline to fast for days as I had before, but I guess I have to work myself back up to that level of control.
Iv recently had a lot on my mind and no one I can share with… and I feel like I’m gonna lose it! But I could never cause eather it would cause alot of trouble or I dont really wanna do anything about it… I just want someone to… know.
So heres a list of things I wish I could tell people and who I wish I could tell.
I still cut my self- Anyone
I can feel my ed getting stronger and stronger everyday, and I like it-Anyone
I’m really starting to hate you and your so selfish and annoying and you always make things about you and I really dont want to deal with you anymore- Best friend
Your mentally abusive and never let me make my own decisions making me feel trapped and I cant wait to get away from you- Mom
I honestly can’t stand you- Middle Big sister
It’s getting harder and harder to get outta bed and keep going- Anyone
im still migrated to @h0ll0 , thats the account i use. but i have more followers here so im saying it here.
we do not give a flying fuck u dumb cunts idc if im being mean ed’s are so competitive, i do not give a fucking shit how much u lose shut the fuck up r u trying to trigger everyone? not to mention it’s physically impossible to lose .5-1.5 lbs a day dumbass idcidcidc im a hater and a bad person im whatever u want me to be. but dont say this shit dumb cunts ed’s r literally competitive and u sound like a pick me bitch
Wanna know something cool? I’ve gained some weight these past couple of months and instead of panicking and fasting for days to get it all off in a week or so, I’ve made myself go into a healthy calorie deficit of 1500 a day and I’ve never felt better. I dont feel quilty about gaining weight anymore, and even tho theres still some fear present whenever I plan on stepping on the scale, i still do it and i remind myself that everything is going to be okay. I make sure I’m eating a good amount of protein every day, also this December I’ll start going to the gym and do some weight lifting to add some muscle which will make my weight loss journey even easier because having muscle burns more calories throughout the day. I’m excited. I’ll keep u guys updated.
Esta sensación de vacio continuo me mata ,nose porque soy así ,algunas veces desearia quitarme los ojos y coser mis oidos para no escuchar ,ni ver como me gritan…sabes ,si me lastimó que me dijeras que el dinero se acaba por mi culpa y por mis gastos, yo de verdad quiero salir de esto, pero tengo tanto miedo de subir de peso y volver a ver sus caras de asco hacia mi ,su odio y desprecio ,si yo vuelvo a vivir eso ,creo que no aguantaré….tengo miedo y algunas torpes veces desearia que me protegieras y me abrazaras ,que me dijeras que me quieres y estarás conmigo ,¿pero por qué no haces eso? ,¿por qué me lastimas de esta manera?…que no ves que de verdad me duele tus palabras mamá
